Player Comments on Herobrine

It was pretty good, I suppose.

The writing overall was definitely pretty good quality, but the plot was a tad strange and didn't really feel like a good storygame subject. I really did enjoy your writing, I just kind of wish it wasn't about a minecraft ghost that doesn't exist.

The storygame was very linear at some points. Some of the page transitions were a bit tough to understand since a few details were often left out.

The characters didn't exactly have a lot of development, so I recommend if you write another storygame you give the characters development and personality. That being said, you did have a bit of an excuse here, since the only real characters were the protagonist and the mysterious Herobrine.

The grammar and spelling was very good, and I didn't see any errors in my playthrough.

I didn't see a lot of branches that actually impacted the storygame significantly, so it didn't feel much like a CYOA.

Overall, you definitely put effort into this, but it still has many cons. I hope you write more in the future. 3/8.
-- MinnieKing on 7/25/2017 3:23:02 PM with a score of 0
Your grammar and spelling weren't bad by any stretch. You also weren't lazy - when two options led to the same eventual outcome but with different means of getting there, those means would be accounted for on the outcome page (some authors will not bother making changes to the outcome page, leading to inconsistencies).

With that said, your storygame was linear. Having multiple choices on every page is pointless if every choice leads to the same outcome.

The pictures were mostly broken, but the ones that were showing up didn't always match the situation. The opening scene is dense fog and your picture shows a forest on a sunny day. The positioning of the pictures was also a little weird.

I also want to know how the main character was able to craft a sword, shield and armour in the middle of the woods.

You obviously put some effort into this storygame but none of the choices impact how the storygame plays out, and there is very little plot or character development.
-- October on 3/12/2013 12:06:50 PM with a score of 0
Well I actually liked the story until right at the end when I kept going back to find a better ending... and there wasn't one. Was kind of annoying. There's some other games where you ultimately die no matter what you do, but they tend to have some deaths that're better than others. The ending in this game just felt like I'd lost.
-- Briar_Rose on 11/27/2012 11:23:19 AM with a score of 0
too short for my taste and also pretty boring. you could easily win aslong as you know enough about minecraft
-- lame on 12/5/2020 10:07:09 AM with a score of 0
It's ok ig. I don't think there's an alternate ending tho which kinda disappointed me but honestly, I liked it.
-- Lorine on 5/15/2020 3:01:21 AM with a score of 0
YOU HAVE UNO YOU FUCKING DICK! Why did you say hell? Maturity is 1 and wheadf
-- Nigger on 6/6/2019 7:28:41 PM with a score of 0
I was quite good. But there's only one ending.
-- Willy on 5/31/2019 5:54:28 AM with a score of 0
so epic! ni got realy scared cuz i thought there would be a creeper but tjhere wasnt thank god i enjoyed very muvh plz mske another. i relly wanred a hero brian fan fickshun for long tome and noe habe ome!!@!
-- nick on 5/9/2019 2:41:34 PM with a score of 0
very sexy story i loved the part where i dated herobrine!
-- KINGKROOL on 4/5/2019 2:08:50 PM with a score of 0
-- jbyker on 9/10/2017 6:44:17 PM with a score of 0
I died the end. XD my choices weren't the best.
-- Chickdove on 12/23/2016 1:55:20 PM with a score of 0
-- MinecraftiaPvP on 4/22/2016 3:25:42 PM with a score of 0
Not bad....Could use a little more work.
-- Jimmysutton on 4/6/2016 12:08:38 PM with a score of 0
I' m pretty sure this is closer to Minecraft then real life, and while it could be a fantasy story, I suggest you put this story under fanfiction. Also, I think you are better of using Minecraft pics.

Overall, could've done better.
-- eileenthg on 3/16/2016 2:53:03 AM with a score of 0
is there a good ending?
-- trolol on 12/1/2015 6:48:18 AM with a score of 0
it was a really exciting story that built up alot of tension as i was reading. it was sad though when it ended as i was enjoying it.
-- charlotte on 4/27/2015 6:42:40 PM with a score of 0
I got a really good one better that that no affence
-- Mia on 4/25/2015 2:03:53 PM with a score of 0
It is freaky
-- Victoria on 3/6/2015 12:31:09 PM with a score of 0
For those of you who don't know, this seems to be like Minecraft, so that's why you were able to craft in the middle of a forest.
-- Wolfmist on 2/25/2015 3:02:18 PM with a score of 0
it was very good...
-- abigale on 2/8/2015 9:17:35 AM with a score of 0
good story i made from your ideas :-)
-- skydoesminecraft on 2/6/2015 9:54:38 AM with a score of 0
I'm guessing she dies next....... or not. Oh FYI i don't do homework.
-- Milla on 2/4/2015 12:20:44 AM with a score of 0
it was awesome until the end
-- haris on 1/4/2015 1:37:07 AM with a score of 0
You need to finish it
-- Alexis S. on 1/1/2015 9:13:59 PM with a score of 0
?? is ??
-- CaelumObler on 12/16/2014 2:33:36 AM with a score of 0
-- WarriorCatsRPStories on 12/7/2014 9:55:10 PM with a score of 0
Make a bigger story then I'll love it.
-- Alexis on 12/5/2014 6:09:23 PM with a score of 0
-- Ruby on 8/11/2014 12:39:06 PM with a score of 0
This is awesome and I want to know on what happened when I saw herobrine in the end?
-- Dark_Souls1271 on 12/28/2013 6:21:15 AM with a score of 0
That's cool!
-- Panta19757 on 12/19/2013 2:59:48 PM with a score of 0
This story was pretty neat. I liked it a lot. Not as good as other peoples stories, but better than a LOT of stories. It's worth every cent!
-- Rockdude11 on 10/16/2013 12:07:29 PM with a score of 0
no way of living
-- paterson on 8/2/2013 12:36:49 AM with a score of 0
Best store ever!!!!!!!!!
-- Tim on 5/29/2013 12:32:53 PM with a score of 0
I hope you will like it thanks

From minecraft god
-- The death of Steve on 5/23/2013 9:53:10 AM with a score of 0
Due to the your actions had no affect in the ending killed it for me. Try to have multiple deaths and maybe a win. Read something like Endmaster "Necromancer" or better yet "Death Song" and you will see what I'm talking about.
-- TheEmperor on 5/7/2013 5:54:26 PM with a score of 0
I like the fact that you never referenced Minecraft (well except for the name), and you had really good grammar. This needs some plot work, though.
-- vladimir262 on 4/21/2013 4:20:14 PM with a score of 0
It Is Awesome, but you should make different endings for each thing
-- Sam on 4/16/2013 8:06:23 AM with a score of 0
It's a good game, just needs some work. Like a way to find out why you are in the forest in the first place. And maybe different endings, or at least a way to find out what that thing in the fog is.
-- Brecat on 4/8/2013 3:12:30 PM with a score of 0
So scary if you actually know who Hero brine is, and if you do you play minecraft, and bcorker, do you play minecraft beacause it is awesome
-- coyotelover on 3/29/2013 1:06:13 AM with a score of 0
-- Someguy on 3/6/2013 10:30:27 PM with a score of 0
Ok? Pretty funny but kinda dumb.
-- TheReader on 2/14/2013 1:14:09 AM with a score of 0
-- Mauro on 2/1/2013 2:53:59 PM with a score of 0
IT WAS WERID BUT COOL, time to do it again!
-- Christopher on 2/1/2013 2:26:33 PM with a score of 0
strange ending
-- EragonMax490 on 12/6/2012 12:09:17 PM with a score of 0
great story, I really like it! :D
-- Victini33 on 12/3/2012 5:09:32 PM with a score of 0
How can you have a furnace when you don't have 8 cobblestone. you DON'T HAVE A PICKAXE IDIOT
-- D.c on 11/20/2012 4:03:41 AM with a score of 0
Herobrine is a ghost found by some monsters from the nether and the ender. Steve Accidently Killed him by knocking him into lava
-- D.C on 11/20/2012 3:54:53 AM with a score of 0
great story in all it wod be+
-- megan on 11/16/2012 10:43:41 AM with a score of 0

-- Anonymous on 11/4/2012 2:13:26 PM with a score of 0
I love Minecraft, but I've never seeen Herobrine. Although I have a background with him standing there and the words: Only God Can Save You Now!
-- Amy2 on 10/26/2012 10:16:40 AM with a score of 0
that was really good. when the pics appeared i jumped out my skin for some odd reason?? that was really impressive.
-- leprechaun on 10/15/2012 1:27:53 PM with a score of 0
This is a death trap any way you do it. Still, Minecraft is MLG.
-- genesistroy on 7/31/2012 6:04:36 AM with a score of 0
in the final choice,it was the same for all 3.
-- monkeyduke2 on 7/8/2012 4:51:57 PM with a score of 0
gooooooooood !
-- Wasteland on 6/27/2012 12:55:12 AM with a score of 0
pretty short but accurate for the most part. however, explosions do not damage items and there is no craftable shield that i am aware of in minecraft. 4/8
-- mrgflan on 6/25/2012 7:33:23 PM with a score of 0
Awesome Approves!
I love Minecraft, so I could relate slightly to the game. I liked how all of the slides had pictures except for the ones that had Minecraft gameplay on it.(Sarcasm) But nicely done, I have to give you props. And from me, props are Awesome.
-- awesomeness1242 on 6/25/2012 7:21:15 PM with a score of 0
I died! But it was really fun. My favorite was the line "you temporarily become a ninja" so I would recommend more humor from you, it's great.
-- thebookthief on 6/23/2012 3:52:52 AM with a score of 0
I had an eye condition, all right?
-- Herobrine on 6/12/2012 8:25:19 PM with a score of 0
Haha, a story about minecraft, excellent. The weird thing is I did 3 different playthroughs, and got the same ending, you need to work on that. 6/8
-- ThisisBo on 10/15/2011 5:38:23 PM with a score of 0
i rated it 3 because the description was slightly vague. also chapter 4 is just one page that says the end so unless your gonna make some kinda second part to this (which also shoulda been the description) it ended on a bad note.
-- SEULaw on 10/13/2011 8:48:52 AM with a score of 0
I get the minecraft refenance as well. I would've never thought to make minecraft into an adventure story nice job :).
-- alienalpha on 9/29/2011 11:32:18 PM with a score of 0
Haha, a game about Minecraft. Am I the only one who gets this reference? I feel like a nerd now, haha.

It wasn't bad, but could use some improvement. I'll have to try some new paths this time, but I did like it, being a Minecraft fan myself.

One more thing, though, I think this belongs in Fan Fiction.
-- bucket on 9/28/2011 3:58:19 PM with a score of 0
Pretty good. though gave it a 3 because I played it several times and got the same ending each time.
-- Killer999 on 9/28/2011 9:26:56 AM with a score of 0
could easily be turned into a massive stoy for Sci-fi/fantasy/puzzle or whatever you want it too be. But still good game
-- Fireplay on 9/27/2011 11:56:08 PM with a score of 0
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