HOW NOT TO WRITE- A Pokemon Adventure - Part 1 - Chapter I - Section A: The Beginning of the Start

Player Rating6.26/8

"#48 overall, #9 for 2015"
based on 506 ratings since 03/11/2018
played 1,382 times (finished 129)

Story Difficulty8/8

"mosie through a minefield"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level7/8

"anything goes"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 18. If this were a movie, it would probably be R.

Rule 1: Unless your story is at least 100 pages long you shouldn't divide it into parts and pay some attention to choosing the correct Maturity, Difficulty and Tags for your story.

As I happen to be on holiday for the first time in about 900 years I've managed to write a little story game offering some examples I've brainstormed or seen recently in badly-written stories of how not to write. Like it's older cousin, The Land of Bad Writing, this story uses examples of bad writing as a way of showing how not to write and I don't have any one story in mind particularly in writing this, just practitioners of bad writing in general.

I've decided to base this story on Pokemon for no other reason than the fact Fan Fiction requires less creativity than most other styles of writing and because Pokemon reminds me of when I was a little Will11 and I, my ten brothers (all coincidently called Will as well) and my nine sisters (the Wilmas 1 to 9) would gather behind the nuclear waste and anthrax testing facility in the woods outside our little trailer park called Asbetos to trade black market Pokemon cards for Plutonium with a mixture of Gypsies, Elves and the Dutch... basically I'm writing about Pokemon because I'm feeling a little Nostalgic today :D

(Rule 1.5: Don't write lengthy and pointless descriptions offering fake autobiographies to your readers).

Player Comments

This story offers a series of incredibly painful-to-read vignettes meant to illustrate the worst blunders of storygame writing.

It's all there, compactly written, and very amusing--illustrations of how to avoid basic microlevel errors (use capital letters), errors of narrative flow (avoid dead ends); and just plain good writerly advice (maintain consistent tense and characters).

What I thought was especially clever about this game is that although it was exaggerated for teaching purposes, it wasn't *that* exaggerated. I've certainly seen all of these--many times--here. The narrative was appropriately awful, while the "lesson" offered in the title of each page was clear and concisely expressed. This game should be required reading before anyone publishes their first storygame here.
-- Gower on 10/4/2019 6:27:20 AM with a score of 0
Now this is going to be a challenge. How do you review a story that’s written intentionally to highlight all the bad things that are done in a story? Perhaps I can just point out all the classic and good things that this story adds to the site? Anyway, this is certainly a story that should be read by just about anyone who wants to write a story here at CYS. And yes, that intro and rule 1 and 1.5 are great. And the title slapped all the way across that Play button? Good stuff, right there.

I like the stuff on the page for rule 2. Indeed, those underlines are not often a problem in stories these days. Most people understand you shouldn’t underline unless it’s a link. And if someone does copy and paste, often those links even stay intact in some cases! But wait, there’s actually two choices on the first page? Good readers, that is a good thing to do!

Oh, the tenses (Rule 4). Indeed, this is an area where many people struggle, and I do as well. My best suggestion for budding authors is to focus on this area specifically when editing your writing. Read through and focus just on your tense to see if it is all consistent. And the description details? Indeed, I think this might be the one area that can use the most work on CYS stories. Authors (including myself) really need to work to attempt to immerse the reader in the story. The reader really needs to see and feel like they are there, not just be told they’re in Pallet Town (sounds like a nice place).

I do like this little adventure. It is fun and it really does point out a very large number of the most common errors – or things that just don’t work well – here at CYS. So thank you for sharing this one with us, and if anyone else decides write a story here and obey the rules outlined in this story, you will likely find some measure of success!
-- Ogre11 on 5/15/2018 1:57:52 PM with a score of 0
Excellent satire of very poor writing and storygame crafting! I enjoyed every page/rule! It's like a 10 commandments with 10 more. Can never quite give enough advice for first time writers. I remember even my own ambition with my first works; ambition can easily get the better of you.

What was done well: I am not sure if you planned it, but I love how the title is so long, it covers the sidebar! Well done! The snark is great while still showing how good your writing can actually be. You managed to map the rules well so that they flowed with your ah... 'story'. It is fitting that it can be read in one sitting.

Room for improvement: Can't think of much to put here, but I will say this -- maybe make some of your examples of what to do a bit longer. As one with experience, I can understand a rule just at face value. If a novice were reading this, I am sure they would want a thorough example, as with the rule to make characters with different names have different personalities. I would have liked to see a little more there. It came out looking more redundant than it did hive-minded as you had intended. I could also just be nit-picking.

Overall: Great work and great advice. Now I wish I had made a HOW TO NOT WRITE a comment. Oh well.
-- Shyshaeia on 1/21/2018 7:05:00 PM with a score of 0
Jk-Rowling I choose you!


-- DemonInTheDark on 2/11/2020 10:19:00 PM with a score of 0
An expertly crafted piece of art and literature. I can see the homages to not only JK Rowling, with your fine use of sentences, but also to George R.R Martin, with your use of punctuation, and Tolkien in your use of fantasy. 10/8 would give eevee a heart attack again
-- thatonewierdguy on 1/4/2020 11:54:19 PM with a score of 0
Can't wait for the sequel!
-- Bill_Ingersoll on 9/3/2019 10:13:38 PM with a score of 0
10/10 IGN
-- venyanwarrior on 6/5/2019 12:34:30 PM with a score of 0
There were a number of spelling/grammar mistakes scattered around the story that I don't _think_ were put there on purpose, which detracted a bit from the effort as a whole.
-- TheWorstFighter on 4/14/2019 8:25:46 PM with a score of 0
it was a game!
12/10 very hard and long
-- jimplays on 3/13/2019 2:13:30 PM with a score of 0
That:s pretty good! If you read Harry Potter often that would be why you use her style. I tend to use warrior cat styles (if you haven't read it you have too. The series is called warriors) because I read that lots.
-- Datclaw on 9/12/2018 10:57:26 PM with a score of 0
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