HOW NOT TO WRITE- A Pokemon Adventure - Part 1 - Chapter I - Section A: The Beginning of the Start

I’m gonna go through all of the rules written in this storygame. Before I do, I’ll just note that I’m not gonna make the criticism of ‘some of these are so obvious though,’ because I’ve seen plenty of storygames on this very site that violate even the most basic of the rules written here.

•Rule 1
Yeah, I think this is probably one of the biggest noob story killers on the entire site. There’s been so many painfully short ‘part 1’ storygames that (rightfully) get axed because of low ratings. I have to figure there’s been at least a handful, even a small one, of noobs that might have written something more complete if they’d been aware that that was the expectation at first.

•Rule 1.5
I’ll go ahead and forward this one to literally every recipe blog/website on the entire internet.

•Rule 2
What the heck is a Plagarize? I must have missed that Pokemon…
In all seriousness, yeah, plagiarism sucks, a road that must be avoided at all costs. Right off the bat, one of those ones you have to figure should be common sense, but you can really never be too sure.

•Rule 3
You’re really good at making spelling mistakes, wow, I was barely able to decipher that. Glory to the magic that is proofreading!

•Rule 4
Rats, I was worried this story would include something I myself am guilty of. Tenses can be a struggle if you’re really used to writing a certain way, I’m constantly having to restructure entire pages because I slipped into the wrong one somewhere. Once again, this is why the good lord invented proofreading.

•Rule 5
Detail and descriptions are key for any sort of reader immersion. The poor noobs with a triple-digit word count on their first storygames are gonna need this one.

•Rule 6
This one really depends on the tone of your story. Sexualizing a character IS pretty creepy in this context, what with Pokemon being a family-friendly children’s franchise.

•Rule 7
It can be a little obnoxious when it’s obvious that a person is just using swearing to try and add a layer of artificial edginess to their storygame. Some authors can pull it off, the key with this one is to not let it feel cringeworthy and forced, which can be hard to do.

•Rule 8
I tend to look down on fake choices a bit, but they’re not always terrible. I just need them to have a point to them, otherwise, it’s just a paper-thin way of including links without including choices.

•Rule 9
Most commonly found in the lolrandom genre, yes. The joke is that the option was so stupid it worked/so stupid it failed, you the reader are stupid for picking it!

•Rule 10
This is only a SLIGHTLY smaller offense than the horror that was the Rule 3 page, Will. This is just another reason to proofread, read an article on how to write properly, graduate the second grade, ANYTHING!

•Rule 11
This is my favorite page in the storygame and it’s not close. Run-ons are super jarring, but luckily an easy fix. Just toss in a sentence stopper and a capital letter and you’re good to go.

•Rule 12
Where was this spirit on the Rule 5 page, huh?!
It is important to find a good balance between too many words and not enough words. Generally, I think one can read some of the featured stories to get a good idea of what the ideal amount of words per page is.

•Rule 13
Inexcusable and oftentimes makes a storygame an instant 1/8 (same with broken links). The only instance in which dead ends are acceptable is if the reader is meant to use an item to progress- a rarity, mind you.

•Rule 14
One of the few things in this storygame I actually disagree with. Yes, in this instance, the genre change is really jarring, but I personally love a well-executed tonal shift!
“Don't switch genres halfway through your story or the reader will assume you are on some sort of medication.”
…you say that like it’s such a bad thing!

•Rule 15
I feel like there’s a pretty big overlap between repetition like this and the run-on sentence rule from Rule 11. I’m convinced anyone who actually writes this way is trying to inflate their word count.

•Rule 16
This is an amusing one, I’d say it’s a rarity to actually see something like this pop up in the wild. But yes, if you don’t know what a word means, maybe use the magic that is Google before writing it down. And if I ever see anyone use the word idiosyncratic in a storygame again I will rate it a 1.

•Rule 17
I always dislike it when a good bit of writing is followed by a super abrupt ending. I get it though, sometimes it can be hard to find a good way to end a scene and it’s just easier to go ‘later on things are done and it’s time to continue.’ It’s a necessary thing to avoid, otherwise, a writer will always end up with jarring scenes.

•Rule 18
To be fair, Daisy WAS pretty boring on the Rule 6 page too…

•Rule 19
Characters having personality is extremely crucial, though this one probably isn’t THAT necessary for side characters as minor as Bill, Will, and Phil here. If I encounter three guys in a storygame with rhyming names, I kind of expect them to all be the same person anyway.

•Rule 20
Absolutely. Attacking ‘haters’ and pre-emptively dismissing critique is a good way to garner even harsher critique. I am 98% confident that anyone leaving you feedback is not there to attack you because they have a personal agenda against you. Those ‘haters’ are going to help you get better and write something you can be really proud of- but only if you’re willing to listen.

Now, respectfully, I’m going to add a rule of my own.
•Rule 21
Don’t tackle Pokemon as your first story, seriously. I get it, it’s a franchise beloved by children and so children will want to write about it. But creating a Pokemon story sounds like a miserable and dead-on-arrival experience that I would only trust the likes of BerkaZerka to pull off. Most of the appeal of the franchise is the fact that you assemble a team of six creatures from hundreds and hundreds of options. Unless you plan on doing some REALLY advanced scripting, I just don’t think it can be done well.

Ok, rant finished. This is a really nice stack of bad writing examples you’ve got here Will, a good way to help newbies in a lighthearted manner. Thanks for throwing the first-timers a bone with this one, and well done.

Now this is going to be a challenge. How do you review a story that’s written intentionally to highlight all the bad things that are done in a story? Perhaps I can just point out all the classic and good things that this story adds to the site? Anyway, this is certainly a story that should be read by just about anyone who wants to write a story here at CYS. And yes, that intro and rule 1 and 1.5 are great. And the title slapped all the way across that Play button? Good stuff, right there.

I like the stuff on the page for rule 2. Indeed, those underlines are not often a problem in stories these days. Most people understand you shouldn’t underline unless it’s a link. And if someone does copy and paste, often those links even stay intact in some cases! But wait, there’s actually two choices on the first page? Good readers, that is a good thing to do!

Oh, the tenses (Rule 4). Indeed, this is an area where many people struggle, and I do as well. My best suggestion for budding authors is to focus on this area specifically when editing your writing. Read through and focus just on your tense to see if it is all consistent. And the description details? Indeed, I think this might be the one area that can use the most work on CYS stories. Authors (including myself) really need to work to attempt to immerse the reader in the story. The reader really needs to see and feel like they are there, not just be told they’re in Pallet Town (sounds like a nice place).

I do like this little adventure. It is fun and it really does point out a very large number of the most common errors – or things that just don’t work well – here at CYS. So thank you for sharing this one with us, and if anyone else decides write a story here and obey the rules outlined in this story, you will likely find some measure of success!

Excellent satire of very poor writing and storygame crafting! I enjoyed every page/rule! It's like a 10 commandments with 10 more. Can never quite give enough advice for first time writers. I remember even my own ambition with my first works; ambition can easily get the better of you.

What was done well: I am not sure if you planned it, but I love how the title is so long, it covers the sidebar! Well done! The snark is great while still showing how good your writing can actually be. You managed to map the rules well so that they flowed with your ah... 'story'. It is fitting that it can be read in one sitting.

Room for improvement: Can't think of much to put here, but I will say this -- maybe make some of your examples of what to do a bit longer. As one with experience, I can understand a rule just at face value. If a novice were reading this, I am sure they would want a thorough example, as with the rule to make characters with different names have different personalities. I would have liked to see a little more there. It came out looking more redundant than it did hive-minded as you had intended. I could also just be nit-picking.

Overall: Great work and great advice. Now I wish I had made a HOW TO NOT WRITE a comment. Oh well.

I love sarcasm, so this is hilarious. A lot of fanworks and original works seem to do a whole lot of these things, especially long descriptions. Even im guily of writing like that.

Thanks for pointing these errors, i love the Pokemon type spin on that!
:)

8/8
Certainly brings you enlightenment in how to write well

You're so bad, you might as well be the next JK Rowling.

This was the most hilarious thing I’ve read in awhile

Honestly this is actually really good advice presented in an .entertaining way

Lack of good writing, but that's the point as it is supposed to show how NOT to write stories. If the writing was good, it would not do its job.

problem with branching
jk fun