murder... it felt a little fun...
A
horror
storygame by
nattybop
Player Rating
1.39/8
"Too few ratings to be ranked"
Based on
28 ratings
since
Played times (finished )
Story Difficulty
1/8
"No possible way to lose"
Play Length
1/8
"Make sure not to blink"
Maturity Level
5/8
"Aren't you a little too old to be trick or treating"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG-13.
Tags
Horror
Serious
this game is not funny. have fun. and its more of a story but have fun!!!!!!!!!
Player Comments
The options of changing font, text size, underlining, bolding and italicising words are options not essentials in a story and this writing hurt my eyes. From what I could decipher the plot has potential but the text needs standardising.
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Will11
on 2/28/2015 10:29:53 AM with a score of 0
This story is... wacky.
The grammar reeks, the plot is okay, and the overall game is shit. 1/8
Pro-tips:
*Don't change the font and size every other paragraph. It makes the story look unappealing. Instant turnoff.
*More exposition, please! I hardly know the people I'm supposed to.
*Stop the cross-out words thing. It's annoying, it makes me want to slap you. Same goes for the grammar.
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Confused
on 2/25/2015 8:08:16 PM with a score of 0
I can see the effort you put into this. This could have been better.
My first tip is to capitalize the pronoun "I" (pretty self explanatory).
Secondly, instead of telling us that the narrator is crying by writing "*sniffle*," you should instead show us she was sad. Go to lengths to actually show us.
Good job though, and I encourage you to write more.
Keep writing!
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Boringfirelion
on 2/24/2015 10:26:03 PM with a score of 0
I am genuinely surprised this doesn't have a 1 yet.
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Chris113022
on 2/24/2015 9:45:30 PM with a score of 0
As far as I know, it's impossible to say a smiley face.
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Malkalack
on 2/23/2015 7:33:31 PM with a score of 0
Help me.
Save me from these storygames.
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DerpBacon
on 2/23/2015 3:37:00 PM with a score of 0
Again, I always try and give constructive feedback so:
Good: the message about not killing your friends is probably a good one. I can actually see a very engaging literary device being used in the story which impressed me, sadly the story itself is not good enough for the literary device to work and so it is lost.
Bad: Very short, disjointed, lack of detail. once more I see this being removed shortly.
In future try adding length and continuity to your stories/games. There is no problem with having more of a story with few branches so long as it is long enough to be engaging and that the description and story are of good enough quality. You attempted to use a nice literary device, whether on purpose or by accident. Either way that means you have promise, maybe just make sure you put more time into the next one?
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FeanorOnForge
on 2/23/2015 12:59:54 PM with a score of 0
Sorry, but no
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hayesa
on 2/23/2015 12:43:14 PM with a score of 0
I wish I had read this story before I murdered all my friends with a blunt razor, oh well.
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iqqih
on 2/23/2015 11:32:47 AM with a score of 0
Please, unpublish this game.
view more...
—
jamescoker1226
on 2/23/2015 10:38:09 AM with a score of 0
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