Player Comments on My Basic Day

Okay, so yes, It's boring, BUT! You wrote this better than a lot of people write, with little to no grammatical errors, this 'Basic Day' exceeds most. It was interesting to see so much detail put into something so 'boring' (Well, you did say it all happened to you, meaning it's a true story, so it would only be right to have detail).

You have plenty of potential for a really good story, so I say you keep at writing! Back to the story;

Alongside having (as expected) branching variables in the story that more or less affect the plot, it was notable that, instead of saying; 'I got home and went to bed. The end.', you actually added more to the story with an after school arc. I enjoyed your basic day, hope to see more work from you sometime!

Well the first page warning was correct! This was very boring. And pointless.

Since the author was obviously aware of all this, why was it published at all?

More of a story than a storygame.

XD It literally is acurate. It's slightly more fun then Homework, for a school day. :D

i shouldn't have had such high expectations in the beginning

Pretty short.

I'm pretty sure the title of this storygame says it all. The warning at the beginning of the storygame that says this is going to be boring tells you whatever the title doesn't.

Then again, I'm pretty sure the author isn't going for an interesting storygame.

kinda short and boring

Literally "choose your own boredom".
xD

This game didn't really have a point. None of my actions really did anything in the long run. The grammar was good, unlike some other games, but the story for this game was, as you warned us, boring.

I think the title sums it up.
Yours made me realize that it can be an acceptable story of so few choices and words?

Having read that I now feel better about my day at work :)

that was really fun. i cannot wait to do another one :-)

that was great

The writing may have not been bad... But it's just not an interesting subject, I'm afraid.

Good story, but I wish I knew who all those people were.

The writing was good and all of the choices seemed to work. Not bad, I hope you write another with a bid more interesting story!

hmm....I think there are better things to make games of then your day...

what? was that?

Not dd at all. Terrible game. Trash.

A day in your life is the epitome of terrifying.

Not as bad/boring as I thought it would be or as it sounded on the first page.

Well it was only just slightly more fun than homework in terms of the actual story, but as a writer you're pretty good. ^_^

... I'd... say this was pointless as I have a life of my own if I wanted to experience a basic day, but, actually? None of my days are all that basic. The average day in my life's more hectic than this, so... *shrug*

Not the most entertaining, but at least it wasn't (I chose to take the main road to school) A random cop is chasing down a murderer and you get killed in the shooting! Bye.

Your day must be samey.

sucks

Dauq!

Why did you write this?

To be perfectly honest, anybody clicking this story expecting some intense dramatic masterpiece of literary genius must've not read the title of it. If someone read the title, considered it fully, and still wanted to keep reading... Then I suppose they could actually derive quite a bit of enjoyment from this story...

However, I do not know anybody of that sort.

hmm...

BOOOOOOOORRRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!
(Yawn)

Multiple David Bowies. . . .
I mean, this game really, really sucks.

This is terrible. I would NOT do this one. Save yourself some life by going and doing some other quiz. >:(

it was a good storieline

boring!!!!!!!!!

Well, I honestly didn't think it was that bad. I like the way you write things too. [: My school day is always boring also, other than the fact Drama goes around everyday. But! You should try writing more stories. Maybe make an adventure story.

Wake me up when u make this exciting.
*snoorre*

Wow. You have a boring life.

Okay.

well, you did warn that your daily day was boring. You were right.

[CONTINUED]

you never stopped to tell us anything about these people. We could neither picture them or the school. Physical description is actually LESS important than emotional description. You can show us these people through dialogue or an interior monologue.

3J

P.S: On my second run through, I noticed that this is extremely linear. I've lowered my rating to a 4 because of it. You need to create branches for your story or it defeats the purpose.

Wow! This was INCREDIBLY refreshing. I'd say contrary to previous comments, this took an exceptional amount of creativity to create. It's not that we're lacking in 'a day of the life of ___' games, we definitely aren't, but I don't think I've ever read a story on the actual monotony of everyday life. I kept expecting tons of ridiculous death links and the like but they did not appear. Lovely! I gave this a 5 because it was a breath of fresh air but you need to work on three things.

1. Make it clear that we're playing a female protagonist at the beginning. I'm still not sure which gender I was and in this setting it's actually important. For some reason, it felt like a female lens.

2. You could use paragraphing and transition words to better effects.

3. Better characterization is a must. You introduced us to a lot of people and places but we never felt any emotion for any of it because

It was ok. I wish you would have made your pages a little longer, maybe two paragraphs at the least. I also wish your pages could have been a little more descriptive. I did like your writing style though, and I look forward to seeing more good storygames from you in the future.

This is good for a first! I'd like to see more creativity, but I know you warned about boromity(yes, i know that's not a word) so it's alright. Can't wait to see more of you!

This is actually really good for a first storygame! Congrats, you've managed to side step the minefields of 'Make every second choice one where you die' and 'make it have no detail whatsover'.

Now you need to go ahead and make one with a real plotline. I get that this one is just for you to test out how the site works, and so I can forgive you for the lack of an actual in-depth plot. I can't wait to see you put up another story! Really good job.