Player Comments on Rum Runner's Tale

General Recommendation: A short and fun game for those looking to learn this history behind bootleggers in 1900s that makes good use of the item system.
Preview: Can you successfully smuggle alcohol without getting caught?

=SPOILERS BELOW=

General notes:
This game takes the infrequently-done idea being a bootlegger and makes a game out of it. The pace of the game is good, with the player staying long enough in each “area” to get a feel for it, but not lingering so long that it feels worn out. This game has a lot of character to it, due in part to the pictures the author provides, but also due to the way the scenes and characters are described. Many historical games often feel like they have modern characters and locations playing out against a historical backdrop, but this game really captures the era.
The length of this game is also an asset, it’s a simple plot, and it doesn’t overstay its welcome. A more detailed game could certainly be made on this topic, but this game is a good size for what it is.
This game has an original concept done well, it's clear this is a subject the author did their due diligence in researching, and this game is very well-presented.

Specific notes:
-I don’t usually like informational links or background information, but in a historical story with such a specific setting, the first page introduction is necessary. The font and newspaper image make this information an effective tone-setting page rather than just an infodump.
-I really like the use of images in this story, I think they’re particularly helpful due to the historical setting. They add a lot of character to the game.
-I’m not sure what the point of using these items is when the game prompts the player to use one whenever it’s needed.
-The inclusino of historical figures is fun and amusing.

Grammar:
All good here. This game had a good amount of polish go into it, and it reads very smoothly. Kudos.
Mastery of Language:
This narration seems well-proofread and reads easily.
The dialogue is done script-style, which is generally not as good as prose.
The paragraphs are extremely spaced out, you might want to not double space in this format.

Mechanics & Coding:
-In general, the coding in this game is good, the items work where they’re supposed to, and you have some fun challenges, such as choosing whether or not to give the strangers on the train alcohol or water.
-There’s a number of places where there are no clickable links, and you can only use items. This isn’t a problem as the player has the items, but for increased polish, you might want to include clickable links on these pages.
-It’s easy to softlock this game just by not picking up an item. This isn’t a problem, but if you want to go the extra mile, you can code it so clicking the link picks up the item for you.

Branching: Not much. It’s more of a puzzle game than a narrative game, so this isn’t much of an issue. That said, some of the “death” endings felt a little out of the blue.

Player Options/fair choice:
Generally good, though there’s a couple places where it’s not immediately clear what needs to be done, and some of the “death” endings felt uunforeshadowed.

Nitpicks:
-I think this might be more of an edutainment game than a historical game—you’re clearly trying to educate the reader about rum runners, and it’s a little too linear to be a traditional storygame.

WRITING ADVICE:
-Yikes! Reset game instead of an endgame link! You may not be familiar with this taboo, but on CYS it’s considered very poor form to give “reset game” links instead of endgame links. I strongly recommend changing these to endgame links if you have any plans to edit this game, as it will strongly affect how people rate your game.

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE:
I got attacked and killed for asking a simple question about payment options.
Was this a school project by any chance? It has that feel to it.

CONCLUSION: A short and fun game.

Well what a ride! After just finishing reading The Great Gatsby, this was a really interesting look into the world of bootlegging.

Synopsis:
Play as an illegal bootlegger in the era of the prohibition, dodge the cops and make your way to The Big Apple for a night to remember. This story game includes historical figures, which is something I’ve not seen before.

Positives:
-Amazing grammar and spelling, which should be the status quo but isn’t with some games. I don’t think I caught a single mistake, and I was actively looking.
-This story makes use of the era it was set in amazingly well. Your motives are clear and I really felt for my character every time they were jailed or killed, since it seems so unfair by today’s standards. The references are all accurate, at least according to the Wikipedia articles I looked up. More than anything else though it blends entertainment and story into a symbiotic structure, something that seems difficult to do. As someone who was already curious about this piece of American history, this story has got me looking into the subject matter more closely in my own time.
-The item and inventory coding worked wonderfully. Every item has a purpose, even if it wasn’t what I originally thought it might be.
-The interaction with the undercover prohibition officers left me feeling smart after solving what to do.

Things to improve:
-This game is very linear. There is only one ‘good’ ending, either that or you are killed or captured. I would have liked to see an alternate route where you sell the alcohol for yourself and become a booze-baron or something similar. Many of the times I died also felt unjustified, such as being killed by the contacts in the first interaction for saying the wrong thing. There was no indication this would lead to my immediate execution: some sort of foreshadowing would’ve been nice.
-Most of the items can only be used in specific places, and sometimes I felt like I could’ve used other items in their place. For example: in the interaction with the homeless man I couldn’t give him my wallet or waterskin. There was no real reason why not, other than it would’ve broken the game down the line, but I feel the bad endings that these choices could have caused would’ve fit with the ‘not being kind while being cautious’ nature of the narrative.

Overall this is a linear game that is interesting if you like the era it is set in. It communicates its educational aspects well and is fun to read, but is held back by the lack of branching in its narrative.

Well, as an avid alcohol 'enjoyer', I feel it is only right that I leave a review for this game.

Firstly, while this game is fairly short, I feel like it has the foundations of a pretty fun experience overall. The inventory system was simple enough to incite some thought, while not slowing down the pace by having to try item after item to get through a page.

Secondly, I believe this game would benefit greatly from a lengthening; either from an extension of the main path, or an additional path perhaps. The additional one, could consist of another facet of alcohol smuggling. Such as those that would race liquor across the country with their souped-up vehicles, or a moonshiner having to operate stills while being one slip up away from jailtime.

Lastly; well done on making a subject that would routinely put me to sleep during my time in school, somewhat more interesting than I had previously thought. I think this was good beginning effort, at least compared to how most first time stories turn out.

(I also liked the historical texts thrown in here and there for additional information. But, I could also see how someone might prefer a "show, don't tell" approach. Either suits me fine however, if I'm being honest.)

It was one of the best stories I've ever read!!!

Neat little story game. It’s pretty much exactly what it says.

I like the part with the undercover prohibition cops- makes it more of a story than “use this item here or you can’t move on”

Also, I feel as though the “no links” pages should be fewer in number. Maybe you get yourself in some trouble if you don’t have that item, or something of the sort.

Overall not bad. Not bad at all.

I will always resent this story for not letting me walk around without shoes or at least try breaking out of prison. Other than that I suppose it was alright.

6/10

The forced Reset/Restart is extremely irritating and means a Rating much lower than this Story's true potential.

Overall, not bad at all. There was a good mix of education sprinkled through out the entire game. I thought it was very cool how you incorporated the history of people/ places in the story. Although it was very linear and some of the items needed to be picked up (like the flask), it was a fun little story. With a little more polish and branching, it could be a greater experience.

I had a lot of fun doing your game because I actually had to think about my decisions, and got frustrated when I got them wrong. I just kept wanting to play. Good job!

The inventory is a bit buggy, but it's a pretty good game. Even when I purposely do not pick up items (like the flask or the two bottles of alcohol) the game still assumes I have them when I don't.

Pretty good game. I learned a lot about the prohibition era that I didn't know. I also thought for sure the homeless guy was an undercover cop, so that screwed me over the first run lol.

Once again great job!

This is a pretty fun learning experience! The item use was also very nicely implemented as a game mechanic. My favorite part was definitely the ability to give these undercover cops the liquor flask or the water skin.