Snow Love

There’s a strong foundation here, but the story is weighed down by frequent technical issues such as things like grammar mistakes, missing punctuation, and inconsistent verb tenses. These errors break the flow and pulled me out of the story. A thorough edit would go a long way in making this storygame smoother and more impactful. The author also tended to overuse commas, which disrupted the flow and made some sentences feel choppy or harder to read.

The anime-style visuals were a fun and creative addition! They really helped capture the mood of the story and made it feel more dynamic and engaging. I’m not always the biggest fan of when people add visuals, especially cartoon-y or anime-style ones, to their writing. They tend to be overused or not contribute to an actual purpose for the storyline, but I think you did a great job of balancing both of those things.

The game could, unfortunately, benefit from more player-driven choices as well. There’s a noticeable lack of meaningful choices in this storygame, which affected player agency and the overall engagement, as the options are pretty limited, which also made the gameplay feel a bit linear and predictable. The only two choices I got to make were to ice skate or not, and to scream for help or try to climb out.

I always appreciate storygames with artwork. I know a lot of people don't care, but I love it. And the first page gave me some. Good choice. Other visual efforts that gave me a chuckle was the smaller font as the protagonist was freezing to death inside the lake screaming for help. Of course I made the choice to call for help on purpose: this is a romance story, damn it, and I want to be rescued by someone, so I knew I needed to go full damsel in distress. And I was rewarded for my instinct: Darren, the hunk from class, saved me. Would it result in a steam love liaison? I couldn't wait to find out....

Of course he awkwardly stares at me while I'm drowning, but I suppose boys are stupid, amirite? Anyway eventually he pulls me out, so kudos to you Darren for not letting me drown. Now, will he baste my biscuit? I eagerly awaited the answer to that looming question.

Well, of course we go to the dance, but one weird thing caught me (speaking as me, not the protagonist) off guard: Darren asks ME (the protagonist, not me) to dance, but then afterward I say to him, "That wasn't so bad, was it?" Seems kind of like something AI would do. But what do I (me, not the protagonist) know about teenage girls and their strange, wire-crossed minds. I'm sure the world agrees they are batshit insane.

Of course, my initial question was answered: There is no doubt Darren basted my biscuit many times. We end happily together, likely married or soon to be married, with a thousand little brats.

I didn't play every branch, so I can't say for sure what the totality of the story is. But at least for the branches I followed through, this story is a fairly dry, typical romance trope, with a little charm and warmth, but not very much by way of conflict or tragedy. This is not a "change your life" kind of romance story. But it's not terrible either. It's better than doing homework, and a lot better than many stories here. If you're bored or need some points for a story review, this is a fine choice. Also, the artwork is very welcome. So, overall I would say I don't regret reading this. It didn't change my life, but it wasn't bad at all. A fun little diversion, but maybe it's made more for a younger audience, or at least one not really craving conflict, drama and tragedy with their romance.

Your writing varies, at some points it's pretty good, and at other points it's lacking. For example, "Quickly unlocking the door, he puts me down on the nearby couch, then quickly runs into the bedroom. He soon quickly returns, carrying some pajamas and a large blanket." You need to refine your writing. Go over and make sure things are done right.

You should also proofread more because of lines like this, "Your what?! IT'S MY LIVE! What gives you the right to tell what to do or not?"

I would like to see greater branching. The story was good enough that I'd like to explore more branches of it.

I LOVE IT SO MUCH GREAT JOB

oh I just love this story I read it a lot

I love it great job I also like how you put pictures in it😁 great job

I love it

I love this story, I ended with the gay one.

its good good game 😊
Have a god day or night

the only part I really liked was the part where Rachel and Alice tricked the guys, also why is it that skating or not skating is what gets you a guy/girl for a date?