Player Comments on Snow Love

There’s a strong foundation here, but the story is weighed down by frequent technical issues such as things like grammar mistakes, missing punctuation, and inconsistent verb tenses. These errors break the flow and pulled me out of the story. A thorough edit would go a long way in making this storygame smoother and more impactful. The author also tended to overuse commas, which disrupted the flow and made some sentences feel choppy or harder to read.

The anime-style visuals were a fun and creative addition! They really helped capture the mood of the story and made it feel more dynamic and engaging. I’m not always the biggest fan of when people add visuals, especially cartoon-y or anime-style ones, to their writing. They tend to be overused or not contribute to an actual purpose for the storyline, but I think you did a great job of balancing both of those things.

The game could, unfortunately, benefit from more player-driven choices as well. There’s a noticeable lack of meaningful choices in this storygame, which affected player agency and the overall engagement, as the options are pretty limited, which also made the gameplay feel a bit linear and predictable. The only two choices I got to make were to ice skate or not, and to scream for help or try to climb out.

I always appreciate storygames with artwork. I know a lot of people don't care, but I love it. And the first page gave me some. Good choice. Other visual efforts that gave me a chuckle was the smaller font as the protagonist was freezing to death inside the lake screaming for help. Of course I made the choice to call for help on purpose: this is a romance story, damn it, and I want to be rescued by someone, so I knew I needed to go full damsel in distress. And I was rewarded for my instinct: Darren, the hunk from class, saved me. Would it result in a steam love liaison? I couldn't wait to find out....

Of course he awkwardly stares at me while I'm drowning, but I suppose boys are stupid, amirite? Anyway eventually he pulls me out, so kudos to you Darren for not letting me drown. Now, will he baste my biscuit? I eagerly awaited the answer to that looming question.

Well, of course we go to the dance, but one weird thing caught me (speaking as me, not the protagonist) off guard: Darren asks ME (the protagonist, not me) to dance, but then afterward I say to him, "That wasn't so bad, was it?" Seems kind of like something AI would do. But what do I (me, not the protagonist) know about teenage girls and their strange, wire-crossed minds. I'm sure the world agrees they are batshit insane.

Of course, my initial question was answered: There is no doubt Darren basted my biscuit many times. We end happily together, likely married or soon to be married, with a thousand little brats.

I didn't play every branch, so I can't say for sure what the totality of the story is. But at least for the branches I followed through, this story is a fairly dry, typical romance trope, with a little charm and warmth, but not very much by way of conflict or tragedy. This is not a "change your life" kind of romance story. But it's not terrible either. It's better than doing homework, and a lot better than many stories here. If you're bored or need some points for a story review, this is a fine choice. Also, the artwork is very welcome. So, overall I would say I don't regret reading this. It didn't change my life, but it wasn't bad at all. A fun little diversion, but maybe it's made more for a younger audience, or at least one not really craving conflict, drama and tragedy with their romance.

Your writing varies, at some points it's pretty good, and at other points it's lacking. For example, "Quickly unlocking the door, he puts me down on the nearby couch, then quickly runs into the bedroom. He soon quickly returns, carrying some pajamas and a large blanket." You need to refine your writing. Go over and make sure things are done right.

You should also proofread more because of lines like this, "Your what?! IT'S MY LIVE! What gives you the right to tell what to do or not?"

I would like to see greater branching. The story was good enough that I'd like to explore more branches of it.

I LOVE IT SO MUCH GREAT JOB

oh I just love this story I read it a lot

I love it great job I also like how you put pictures in it😁 great job

I love it

I love this story, I ended with the gay one.

its good good game 😊
Have a god day or night

the only part I really liked was the part where Rachel and Alice tricked the guys, also why is it that skating or not skating is what gets you a guy/girl for a date?

The characters are such poor imitations of human beings that the grinch even cannot handle all that cringe I have gotten when reading the story.

No normal girl or any person talks or thinks like that. It's like someone wanted to shove a puppy down my throat while constantly saying: "look how cute it is, don't you find him cute, say that he's cute."

Oh and I've gotten Darren's ending!

Really fun game! Just a few things... I wish you could choose what your name is and I also wish you could choose if you are a girl or a boy. Other than that it’s an awesome game!

FIN

oh look another anime story with pictures in it, nice effort in putting those in, even if a lot of them were of different characters.

Thought this was fanfic at first for what it was, as it read out completely like one.

The plot was there and carried what needed to be carried, but the description of a lot the story was kind of bare and could have had a lot more added that probably would have raised the story by a overall point.

Also lol at the sexual orientation, fucking zeus out here deciding at random whether I like dick or pussy.

also wtf did i get undressed without consent, i'm calling a hotline.

I really liked the story. I got both endings, but me being an idiot I died once in each path.

Rated a 1/8 just because of the classic and always cringe nIcE cOmMeNtS oNlY from the author. But the story itself was also pretty bad and in no way deserving of the 4+ rating it managed to get seven years ago from undiscerning weebs.

amazing encore wooooo

why was there only 1 option at most of the chapters

really i picked the wrong one and she dies where is the romance that i like like constant kissing

Very good

Wow that was great I'm impressed, good job !

I liked it a lot and stuff but it was really much of a story it didn't give you choices except the sidewalk one and the ice one. BORIIING! I replayed it and I hated the ending where I am lesbian, ewwwwww nasty. It's so wierd like I don't like stories where you are lesbian sorry suck but make you story way better

*Also did you draw the pictures yourself?LOVE THEM!!

XOXO bye darling

so romantic

so romantic

I. LOVE. THIS. SO. MUCH. I got Darren for the ending! Great jooooob!

I just love this stoy it's my favorite and i keep reading it over and over!??

i think that it has a decent story line and lots of choices ut it was a bit short so i gave it a 6/8

I honenestly thouguht that this was gunna be about sexy ladys and all so im a bit dissapointed to say.

This is really too short. There were only 3 "choice" pages here, the one on the first page, and the remaining two have a death link each. This would be a cute story if there were more choices; Maybe you went alone? Maybe you went with one of the boys (I forgot their names) and discovered that they're not so bad after all?
It's really just 2 really short 'love' stories. (Add a few more "cute" scenes (and choices. Don't forget choices.) and maybe it wouldn't look so cheesy?
You did try to not make this some kind of short, extra boring story though, so you get an extra point for that :D

Ok, I got a much better ending, and I must say, you're a good writer. I like how Alice and Darren come together, and I think that this story should be a little higher rated than it is, because I really liked this story. Keep it up!

Well then.

The writings alright, but obviously I took a wrong turn and drowned in the pond. I'll try again and see if I can find a better ending and therefore leave a more detailed review.

Sorry, but I didn't like that she was lesbian.

Wow short but i really liked the darren ending!

well, i really liked it.. what i don't liked? its short.. just that ^^ :) :D
i hope to see more story like this..

okay....

short and not much work put into it...but the story was adorable! The last picture was so cute too

It was magnificent really

Lesbian choice....and regular . Nice.

Pretty good, but a tad too short. Also, there were some grammar mistakes. This was a good start, though- keep up the good work.

Not really my type of story, but otherwise, it was...okay. Improve your grammar and try to be more descriptive in your writing. Not terrible, but not great.

3/8

I never knew I was gay

Well-written but i think it was too short. In the story i died early at the pond.

BEAUTIFUL. Needs better grammar.

It was an OK story game kinda short but enjoyable. I thought that both girls who happened to be like, best friends just happen to be lesbians. Also I didn't really like the whole Cheezy push-you-out-of-the-way-of-a-speeding-automobile-that-is-totally-going-to-cream-your-candy-butt.

I love the anime pics! They're amazing! I would rate higher if you add more anime pics and longer storyline.

^_^

i am fangirling so bad on the inside right now

loved it

I couldn't really do much in the game, honestly, and there weren't a whole lot of options for me to pick from... good game, but it could've been a little smoother, no offense.

Wow, i ended up gay...

Good pics and well written :)

watta hay

Cute... Very Cute!

Cool anime pics.

Yup..

(warning long comment ahead) Cool the only suggestion i have is that there could be a tiny, minuscule amount of detail added... BUT i personally love this little story and i have read it a few times because its that good and i will continue to read your great story and others as long as i am still on the site but continue the Awesome work because i look ahead and see you can be a great writer for physical copies! I also give you my support.

I fail to see how this is rated 7/8 for maturity.

This was very nice. I suggest using the editor and adding a bit more about the character. No hating comments here, I promise!

this was more of a book than a game but OK I guess

Felt like I was being ushered down one path the entire time.

I LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS SOO SWEET MAKE ANOTHER ONE!!!! XD

That was AMAZING!! I LOVED IT!! i loved your pictures. if you can can you send some like that to me?

Awe how cute

very nice, cute little story. the illustrations are beautiful and the story is just long enough to be interesting.

It was adorable and amazing.

Both stories were rather cutesy. Of the two I preferred Darren's. I certainly don't think it deserved the Maturity Level Rating. A kiss is hardly rated R. That being said, keep on writing and creating!

This was really cute! I got Ending-Darren.

Yuck, I got Rachel!

I finished and got the rachel ending!

Could have been better, but it could have been worse...
There wasn't a lot of character development in my opinion, so it was really kind of boring. The language was a little awkward to read, but I can't really complain TOO much on that front...
However, this has a lot of potential, and with a little more development and duct tape would be awesome.
Still, I've read worse first attempts at a story game (though I might not have any room to talk...)

This was a really good story! I liked it! I got Ending-Rachel.

this was a good story loved it

Pretty good for a first story Necro. Enjoyed it. Bit shirt but it was your first story

Good one!

It's better than my first game.

My number one suggestion would be to have the choices the player makes have some logical relation to the outcomes.

For example, whether or not Alice goes skating determines her sexual orientation, which doesn't make a lot of sense. It would be better if there was something like "If I go skating, maybe I'll see so-and-so there" so that the player feels like they have some control over the outcome of the story.

You show a lot of promise, keep writing.

Really enjoyed it!

Love the ending it was really romantic sweet but the story is short however it is still enjoyable to play. Like to extend the story more if possible.

Weird, but cool. There was a little, um, lesbianism at the end. Don't mind though.

Not bad. /obamaface A little limited and short on choices though.

Please post em in tha forumz. This izn't even a CYOA.

Pretty good.If it was longer it would be better, but it's good as it is.

Beautiful story, and I love the pictures. More choices would be nice, but otherwise well done.

Great game an instant hit. Not sure about the homosexual ending but still good nice to see some variety to the genre

Great game a instant hit

I'm not exactly into homosexual love, but this is cute, I guess. I liked it.

My advice would be to have more choices. This site is called ChooseYourStory because we CHOOSE our story! The choice on the first page basically decides your ending, no choice at all apart from the "death".

But still, good job for your first game. 6/8

it was nice pretty well done. Not that this is bad or anything but why is that almost ever romance game on this site uses anime characters. I never really understood the appeal.

Not a bad little read. Would have liked some more choices with impact, but enjoyed it overall :)