Player Comments on The Mall > ChooseYourStory.com

It's not the best, obviously, but I feel like there was some obvious effort put into this storygame.

Obviously, you made an attempt, and putting effort in paid off pretty well. This was definitely not bad, but I wouldn't call it "good," either. The formatting is a bit annoying, and there's a very obvious drop in quality about halfway through. There's no rush to publish, make sure the quality doesn't spread thin when writing your storygames.

I guess it was funny at some points, but nothing really special in the humor. It was okay in that department I suppose.

This isn't the shortest storygame i've ever seen, but it could be longer. This storygame has a lot of potential, and felt more like a decent start to me then a whole storygame.

You did have some detail in here, but not enough. There just wasn't enough detail, not to flesh out the setting or the plot.

I'll also say this: you need to develop your characters a bit more so your readers can have an easier time putting themselves in the characters shoes, and so they can have an easier time feeling emotion for them.

3/8.

— MinnieKing on 6/10/2017 1:54:49 AM with a score of 0

It was ok

— Miah_Anderson on 11/8/2022 8:14:42 PM with a score of 0

I'll give it a 2 because I can skip the entire story to get an end game page unlike all the other shitty games.

— WizzyCat on 5/11/2021 12:30:29 PM with a score of 0

Try too hard to be funny, in my opinion

— Nora on 12/7/2017 9:33:26 PM with a score of 0

Lol. And look! This is an ancient game from the beginning of time.

— crazygurl on 7/13/2017 9:07:10 PM with a score of 0

very cool ,yet dumb at the same time. Plenty of goofy humor. 30/10

— Parislunaakane on 2/25/2017 7:09:56 PM with a score of 0

Well, the way it was set up reminded me of the choose your own advetures me and my friends use to tell each other in 7th grade that never made sense.

— Squirlyfresh Sux on 11/4/2016 1:25:21 PM with a score of 0

Good. Good. Just needs to have that mueseum tho! 5/8

— StorySearching on 1/19/2016 9:13:58 PM with a score of 0

I got shot. Yay!

— LightBringer on 2/7/2015 6:13:43 AM with a score of 0

Yikes...

— Jolt on 1/31/2015 9:16:05 PM with a score of 0

I got killed by a swerving car.

— baus on 10/9/2014 2:04:32 PM with a score of 0

woooooooah!

— Melodie5678 on 8/20/2014 2:26:24 PM with a score of 0

Definitely good for some random laughs! I chuckled when I threw the mall manager into the ocean.

— HolyFrax on 6/16/2014 9:23:17 PM with a score of 0

Wow. XD And when you broke out into 'All-star' and ignored the RadioShack guy. Lol.

— thequeen13 on 6/5/2014 7:58:43 PM with a score of 0

Made me laugh a lot. I have no idea how to feel about this game. It was bad, but it was the best game ever at the same time. I justly gave it a 5.

— Rockdude11 on 3/2/2014 3:10:55 PM with a score of 0

This should be in the humorous category!

— jazzy on 8/13/2013 4:43:43 PM with a score of 0

You do know that its choose your story .com not choose your own adventcre.com

— Mhand2003 on 8/1/2013 7:51:27 PM with a score of 0

I like those kind of endings.

— dbzfan94 on 4/29/2013 10:01:03 PM with a score of 0

Good for some laughs.

— Loon on 1/25/2013 5:35:38 PM with a score of 0

ADVENTURE ADVENTURE

THIS WAS EPIC

— mr_baggins on 12/18/2012 9:18:46 PM with a score of 0

funny, but if u dont have a sense of humour, i wouldnt play it. it really is stuffed in the head. haha

— jaynee97 on 12/18/2012 2:01:42 AM with a score of 0

WHY DID WALTER HAVE TO DIE?!?! Awful overall though.

— CovElite on 11/29/2012 4:38:08 PM with a score of 0

Few chuckles

— CovElite on 11/27/2012 3:43:57 PM with a score of 0

Ha Ha Ha. XD I LOVED THIS! ^_^ some parts were absolutely hilarious. Really nice job, loved the total randomousity vibe you got going on there.8!!!!!!

— ChaiHai on 8/27/2012 12:20:50 AM with a score of 0

All the endings i chose ended up with me dieing.

— awesomeness1242 on 3/10/2012 9:24:03 PM with a score of 0

One of the few things I liked about this story was that it was long, had plenty of options, and there were points that it was funny. The part I didn't like was that it was to silly, no plot, and you kept making obscure references. It just felt underdeveloped. I know you were going for the "weird day at the mall" effect but it just fell short.

3/8

— JMgskills on 2/16/2012 3:02:14 PM with a score of 0

funny, but random.

— Killer999 on 9/23/2011 11:42:25 AM with a score of 0

That was..... Random?

— Fireplay on 9/20/2011 7:19:12 PM with a score of 0

Well..then...I'm never going to the mall again..<_<

— DQEight on 9/13/2011 2:43:23 PM with a score of 0

LOVE IT!
Bo approves

— ThisisBo on 6/19/2011 12:00:39 AM with a score of 0

linear. random. bad.

— fergie14233 on 1/24/2011 10:53:28 PM with a score of 0

ROFFL!!!!!!!!!!

— doodoodude on 9/14/2010 8:30:13 PM with a score of 0

i wanted the meuseum!

— Doodoodude on 9/14/2010 8:22:53 PM with a score of 0

hahahaha

— checker444 on 4/10/2009 1:17:31 PM with a score of 0

What?

— afrojedi117 on 2/6/2009 10:43:21 PM with a score of 0

I love your stories! They are hilarious. Only 1 problem, it says your HUSBAND comes to see you, but your a guy in the game. lol

— realprety on 7/24/2008 5:09:32 PM with a score of 0

good laugh

— oriol on 1/25/2008 8:23:02 AM with a score of 0

hilarious. just hilarious. roy

— royshen34 on 12/29/2007 4:01:22 PM with a score of 0

Lol! Absolutely funny. This was my favorite line:

"Don't buy anything here!" You say. "10 percent of the profits made here go to the budget of another Chris Kattan movie."
"Good god!" Someone yells and drops something they were about to buy. "Lets get out of here, honey!"

That just cracked me up. Two thumbs up, way up!

— Leon101 on 11/7/2007 2:45:05 AM with a score of 0

I love too much! Sequel!... No, Prequel!!!!

— Zero on 10/28/2007 1:25:49 PM with a score of 0

Interesting idea, i liked it.

— weedy on 10/14/2007 10:57:19 PM with a score of 0

A-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! dude, you're hilarious.

— DarthVader_13 on 6/11/2007 2:58:21 PM with a score of 0

You frighten me.

— PrinceOProvidence on 1/6/2007 10:29:02 AM with a score of 0

Good grammar, and I liked the celebrity appearance.

— October on 10/28/2006 5:30:26 AM with a score of 0

Aw, but I wanted to hang out with Willam H. Macy. . .
That was kinda fun.

— Sethaniel on 10/25/2006 8:58:13 PM with a score of 0

Very funny. Reminds me a slightly less skilled Douglas Adams. Good job!

— madglee on 9/3/2006 11:19:37 AM with a score of 0

Nicely done!

— GodsSlayer on 4/16/2006 10:28:22 PM with a score of 0

pretty funny

— Silver_Lake on 12/30/2005 10:28:15 AM with a score of 0

Great game! Not too linear, and of course, super funny!!

— da Ravemaster on 12/3/2005 3:42:56 PM with a score of 0

Amazing Game!

— Wayne on 10/19/2005 4:44:02 PM with a score of 0

I was hoping for more from you.

— havacoman on 9/10/2005 9:56:27 PM with a score of 0

i didn't understand it and it was stupid.

— laura on 8/3/2005 3:46:16 PM with a score of 0

You sure like a lot of movies.

— George on 6/10/2005 12:58:07 PM with a score of 0

Good Humor, but no plot. I'nm not gonna dis you that bad, just a simple 5/10

— JJJ on 6/1/2005 10:59:41 AM with a score of 0

This is the first game on this website I played. I got hooked and played the rest of your games, and soon other peoples games. Now, after enjoying the website for over 2 months, I thank you. You are a great game-maker.

— Al on 5/7/2005 4:39:41 PM with a score of 0

That was akward, unusual, senseless and aimless writing; I loved it. BTW Hey now, you're an allstar, get your game on, go play The Mall!

— Mina on 4/21/2005 3:18:24 AM with a score of 0

Dear god that was funny... every sentence made me laugh out loud... why isn't this game featured?

— Fenz on 4/2/2005 11:32:10 PM with a score of 0

Wow...I couldn't believe how amazingly funny this was....and you made that a long time ago. We are in high school, I don't think we should still be laughing at stuff like that. But since you won't ever check this, it doesn't matter hehe. But seriously, it was funny, I LOL'd (laughed out loud) quite a few times.

Good Work

— CoCreator of Darryl on 3/25/2005 12:47:41 AM with a score of 0

njk

— ij on 3/17/2005 7:08:16 PM with a score of 0

Hilarious! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

— HUMORED GUY on 2/17/2005 5:24:52 PM with a score of 0

Hilairious! I love the part where you kill the... person...thingy... whatever, just play it!

— Interesting Boy on 2/14/2005 3:28:08 PM with a score of 0

funny game. You do cynical well. I think you could do better though.

— march5th00 on 2/13/2005 2:55:19 PM with a score of 0

I got to the part where you find Mrs. Paddick damn that was funny

— Ass on 10/13/2004 7:23:02 PM with a score of 0

norMAALLLLL!!!!!!!!!!! hello the cheese is eating my grape salad.

— Cody George on 9/11/2004 5:21:28 PM with a score of 0

that was way cool

— bobby on 9/9/2004 10:50:04 PM with a score of 0

This is definetly the funnniest of ur games that iv dun

— FWAMNAFWWAMINA on 9/8/2004 6:46:15 PM with a score of 0

nice game person i dont know u are funny though

— jessica on 9/8/2004 12:18:23 AM with a score of 0

hey...that was good victor!! i liked it lol...well, i guess i'll ttyl..cya 2moro @ school<br><br>~Layne~

— Layne on 9/7/2004 11:28:37 PM with a score of 0

Omg,this is the funniest thing ive ever read....EVER!

— Andy Barnes on 9/6/2004 11:28:50 PM with a score of 0

i got to see funnier stuff this time, as well as a funnier ending, i don't think funnier is even a word, and i don't like to capitalize i, yet i put commas, and these ' after my n's. hmmmmmm...

— leon101 on 8/30/2004 10:39:11 PM with a score of 0

great dude, i like the signs ending.

— leon101 on 8/30/2004 10:23:56 PM with a score of 0

That was probably the funniest game of Maze_Man's... its a little more adult and very offensive (but the funny kind of offensive). I'd recommend it to anyone who wants a good laugh. I also liked the 'Signs' ending. Nice touch.

— Justin on 8/8/2004 10:14:37 PM with a score of 0

right up there with your other games. make it a bit longer.

— nate on 8/4/2004 9:08:07 PM with a score of 0

the experience was a kicker and I would do it again any old time. It comes highly recomended by the Austrian Sea Lab. This will give you hours of enjoyment no doubt in my mind. Have a good day and drink SOBE.<br>

— Gen. Arnold G. Hubbengraten on 8/4/2004 8:07:01 PM with a score of 0