Player Comments on veangance quest

The plot is interesting. The writing needs to be expanded upon. The grammar/spelling just spoiled the effect of the whole thing. If you cleaned up the grammar and formatting and added more details, this might be a lot better storygame.

A strong first effort. Could be greatly improved with attention to spelling and punctuation, not to mention the fact that nearly every page says "This is a new page." I would have liked to hear more details -how the hero came into possession of the sword, why this fleshy creature lives only miles from normal towns, etc. Pretty good description of the "superwarrior," though he could have had a better title. Make another one and spend a bit more time.

you guys need to work on your grammar what the hell

Quite dumb and short.

This is a new page.
It was pretty interesting, I guess.

Really needs some editing, decent idea, please work on it

The "This is a new page" on every page was a nice touch.

It was okay. The randomness was extreme and I kept on getting killed for doing seemingly random things like staying at a nice hotel or not sleeping in a suspicious cottage. It's not bad but to frustrating for it's own good.

very........strange

Good story and well written. I'd like to see more detail about the lead characters background and motivations.

good story

I loved the concept. Of course, there were a few things that just ruined the game for me. For one, you failed to delete the words "This is a new page" on virtually every page you created. Secondly, you weren't very descriptive and you seemed to rush the story in some places. Finally, I would have liked to know how you got the sword in the first place. I really liked the idea, though.

The plot is interesting. The writing needs to be expanded upon. The grammar/spelling just spoiled the effect of the whole thing. If you cleaned up the grammar and formatting and added more details, this might be a lot better storygame.

Good story, but like most people said, You need to fix the grammar mistakes, and the title should've been corrected, and capitalised. it should be "Vengeance Quest."

If the grammar was corrected, 3/5. But since it was not very good grammar 2/5. I would put it in the "Good. for you to poop on" Category/

I thought I had bad grammar, then I read this story

Ah, well, yes. Every page begins with a "this is a new page", as if the author did not have the sense to delete this sentence before continuing on to write the actual content.

Other than that, the actual content was good enough, and the game would generally be a lot better if the grammar mistakes were edited out. 4/8.

As shadowlink said it failed to hold much interest, but other then that was fun.

okay game but failed to hold interest

really fun game

5.

It's a decent attempt... you don't have to warn us that every page is a new one though...

Maybe add some description? Add more choices? Make more story lines?

I didn't really like your pages. Then I realized they're new, so I'll cut them some slack.

You have a pretty good storyline here, but you have a lot of editing issues to work on; you don't need to write This is a new page. And add some detail and description to spice it up.

no pictures no real like development of characters

This story is so fresh! each page is a new page! There need to be more stories this new and inavative. in all reality though, it isnt that bad.

THIS IS A NEW PAGE. THIS IS A NEW PAGE. THIS IS A NEW PAGE. Done.

Needs more. I agree with the other comments.

I did not care for it. Felt a little to random for me.

I didn't care for it

WTF!! that was so confusing. it has good roots, just the stroyline makes no sense, and you need to correct the grammar. thank you.

If you choose the wrong thing, you'll die. Also, do you know you can erase "This is a new page"?

This is a new comment.

Slightly interesting, minus the fact that you didn't realize you could delete the default text.

Kinda bad.

my god, it was way too easy to die here! Just run and you DIE.3/8 :(

A good start, but very rough. Finish it up, and try it again!

not enough detail. let alone, too many "this is a new page".

Not too bad, for a first attempt. Why are there no capital letters?

Seems unfinished...I don't really get the ending where you give the sword to the guy. Would be more fun if it was longer and more detailed.

Well, there ARE many worse stories on the website....

A half decent first attempt. The storygame looks a bit rushed, and you could have used better spelling. Still, I congratulate you on making a story.

It's pretty decent for a first game, but the writing leaves a lot to be desired. (For one thing, the title is uncapitalized, and incorrectly spelled- unless "Vengeance Quest" was already taken or something.)

Nice attempt. I like how you didnt max out the difficulty and maturity like lots of newbs do, however your grammar and spelling was atrocious. Please do not leave the "this is a new page" text at the beggining of the pages. Nice plot but not such a good piece of writing. Try again in the future but spend more time on it.