Non-threaded

Forums » Writing Workshop » Read Thread

Find proofreaders here, useful resources, and share opinions and advice on story crafting.

New Story Teaser

7 years ago
Mizal said I should post a teaser for my new story. Hopefully, I shall have it finished by the end of the week and launch it when I announce the December story contest.

Anyway, it'll likely find a home in the romance section, a story of love, growth and loss.

The first page, short and simple. Feel free to comment, critique or question, though there's not much to critique except that ungodly sentence. As I said, just a teaser.


Where did we go wrong?

As swirling snows and icy winters thaw into fresh green springs, which blossom and bloom into hot humid summers, heavy with the threat of sudden thunderstorms, that in turn fade into the countless colors of crisp cool autumns, I ask myself this question more and more.

I loved her. Three simple words. I still do.

But the Beatles lied. Love isn't all you need.

New Story Teaser

7 years ago

Sounds cool.

New Story Teaser

7 years ago

Sounds pretty gay, if you ask me.

New Story Taser

7 years ago

The only way the beetles lied, is if you're a horrible person built on lies and shame. Author and character,

And dude, seriously, if the weather is that shit AND tempestuous all year around, just fucking move. Theres a lot of lattitude in the world, that dont require four different seasonal wardrobes.

New Story Taser

7 years ago
Middle America is a right bitch, mate.

New Story Taser

7 years ago

The Beetles were overrated and John Lennon was an asshole.

New Story Taser

7 years ago
About damn time someone said it!

New Story Teaser

7 years ago

I still think that seasons sentence needs to be broken up, but good luck in finishing this. What you've told me about it so far sounds appropriately sweet and romantic, and the character has believable motivations. 

Not a favorite genre of mine, but I guess it's kind of like the School section and just needs lots of new blood.

New Story Teaser

7 years ago
I made some revisions to the plot, length and tone of parts of the story, which likely will push me back a week, maybe two. But I think these changes will help produce a better overall story.

Essentially, you play back through the narrator's memories and influence the nature of his life story. Where you wind up at the end of each memory segment will impact what kind of person he grows up to be, and thus give points toward one of four endings, based off how his childhood years shaped him.

New Story Teaser

7 years ago

So, it's similar in form to a Snowclone, except the memories are fleshed out and have relatively little to do with the RO who's inevitably going to die a horrible death. That's twist enough for me, I guess.

New Story Teaser

7 years ago
Was originally going to be a direct parody of Snow. I'm not sure how much of that it will be in the end, as the recent changes are taking it in a bit of a different direction.

New Story Teaser

7 years ago

Just have one path where he never had a girlfriend at all and he just walks around in the snow and dies of exposure.

FOREVER ALONE.

New Story Teaser

7 years ago

I'd totally play that.

New Story Teaser

7 years ago

8/8 Ending. 

New Story Teaser

7 years ago
Endeavour Ending

Oh... that was not very paragon of me.