Non-threaded

Forums » Writing Workshop » Read Thread

Find proofreaders here, useful resources, and share opinions and advice on story crafting.

How do you think my WC game should be constructed?

8 years ago

Many WC games have not been given a very good rating, and could improve a lot in their writing. People keep saying they are waiting for a good WC game, so I ask, what you look for in a good WC game?

I want to try help the reputation, and I want to know how you think I should write it. It is called Warrior Cats: Silver Blood

You begin hidden in a bush somewhere in the forest. You follow a trail and meet a cat named Midnight. The story behind her being in the bush is that her mother (I also need help deciding her name) left her there when the war began between all four of the clans. Midnight should also have some sort of retaliation with her mom. (one gender game)

Thanks for reading. Hope that you can help.

How do you think my WC game should be constructed?

8 years ago

I can think of a few suggestions:

1) Don't split your story into parts, chapters, editions, folios or any thing that isn't a complete story.

2) Go for an original storyline, give each character story personality features and spend some time describing the setting.

3) Have either actual multiple storyline branches or make the main storyline really good (with choices a bit more challenging than boy or girl/pick a name/pick a color/pick a nose etc)

4) When you've finished writing it read and reread for spelling errors (anything with a red line under it) or anything that can be taken out.

5) Have some sort of objective beyond becoming leader of the clan. Maybe you need to reconnect Midnight with her mother by traveling through dangerous warring territory only to find that her father has been killed by her uncle who has taken over control of the clan and needs to be overthrown either by violent confrontation (Lion King style) or by being out-manouvered (Hamlet style).

Check out Rosetail's Rules of Writing and any other article on the Help and Info section about writing.

Well done for asking by help btw, many new authors don't and many ignore all advice, criticism, negative feedback etc.

Good luck with your writing.

How do you think my WC game should be constructed?

8 years ago

I can think of a better suggestion! DON'T FUCKING MAKE A WC GAME!

How do you think my WC game should be constructed?

8 years ago

Oi, that's my shitphrase!

How do you think my WC game should be constructed?

8 years ago

I thought you said "Don't make a fucking WC game". 

Emphasis is everything.

How do you think my WC game should be constructed?

8 years ago

You can't just move the fucking around! The phrase is integral and iconic piece no matter how it's said, just like "You've got some splainin' to do" invokes thoughts of Lucille Ball even though it's an amalgamation of phrases said on the show.

I'm suing.

How do you think my WC game should be constructed?

8 years ago

Thank you so much! The advice will come in handy I'm sure. And I totally liked the idea in the fifth paragraph until I realized it was Lion King XD Maybe I can still use it and hope it goes unoticed.

Well anyway, thank you! 

How do you think my WC game should be constructed?

8 years ago
You asked. I shall attempt to help you. I do seriously want to help you because I really do enjoy reading good stories here on this site. The main reason I stay on this site is to read stories here, stories that have choices in them. That said, I very, very strongly suggest you read each and every word in the following articles and really pay attention to them:

Captain Kiel's Rules Of Writing. Kiel has been here for awhile. He has read almost every story here. He has a featured story. He knows what he is doing. He has a few tips in the article and you should read and obey every single one without exception. Really.

Character Creation. I think this is really important, especially for a new WC story. While you, as the author and WC fan, know in your mind everything about your character, the reader DOES NOT. You need to develop the character, especially a cat character, and you need to describe the character to the reader. If you can't develop the character, the reader will not relate to the character, and the story will appear boring to the reader.

Creation of good story plot. Also another reason the WC stories have gotten a bad reputation here: the plots are thin, transparent, and predictable. You need to develop something more than "join clan, have kits, leader, die." Without conflict, genuine conflict, you have a story that no one wants to read. And if your conflict is not clear and defined, or if it is identical to other conflict, again, you create a boring story. Take a WC story that you have read (from the books) and notice how in-depth the conflict is on different levels. That's what makes a story interesting.

Storygame Creating 101. This article has a list of questions you really need to be able to answer. The more details you know about your story, the better the story will be for the reader. Remember: anything you don't write on the page the reader simply does not know.

In your specific story, here are questions you should be able to answer: Who are "you?" No, seriously. You start with "You being hidden in a bush somewhere in the forest." Who are you? What color are you? Why are you there? How did you get there? You don't absolutely have to tell the reader these answers, but you really should know them! What is the trail? Who made the trail? Why? Who is Midnight? What does Midnight look like? What are Midnight's dreams? What is her mother doing while you are in the bush? Where is your mother? Do you have any brothers or sisters? Does Midnight? And so on and so on. The more details you know about your characters and story (whether you reveal them to the reader or not), the more rich and complete your story will be.

Finally, I notice that you have only been on the site a few weeks. Take your time. Go ahead and start writing, but be sure you are planning. Plan your story. Know where it is going. Plan choices and ensure they make a difference. Read other stories on the site -- lots of them. Read the highly rated stories and read the comments people have left to see what people like and do not like in the stories.

Write, but also have fun! I do hope that helps.

How do you think my WC game should be constructed?

8 years ago

Thank you so much! This helped a lot!

How do you think my WC game should be constructed?

8 years ago

I'm going to be very blunt here. I will stress that I am neither flaming you nor trying to discourage you, I am assessing what you have presented and offering you my honest opinion:

This ... doesn't sound like a well developed or interesting concept. =\ I don't understand the name or how it's relevant to the plot, so it sounds like you just called it that to make it sound cool and while cool names are fun, that's not really the point of a story title. You're explaining someone else's story in your summery rather than the player character's and that may give us the impression that we, as the PC, are not interesting enough or involved enough to be relevant.

I don't even have a vague idea of where you're trying to go with this, either. There was a war? Okay, great. Why? Nobody goes to war over literally nothing. The reasons can be petty and stupid, but wars do not just happen. Heck, an entire story can focus on a war alone, so please don't just gloss over that ... but it's over? Where was I during all of this? Why do I even care about Midnight? Are we clanmates? Are we enemies? Am I just someone's lost and confused pet? Why should I care about this?

Midnight wants revenge on her mother? (You did say retaliation, after all.) For leaving her somewhere safe during a battle? What? Why? That's insane. If she's young enough to be "left" somewhere, I'm assuming she's a kitten. The cruel thing to do would be to make a kitten fight in a war or just drag her straight in the middle of the fight and leave her there instead. On the other hand, do you mean to make Midnight irrational and insane?

How do you think my WC game should be constructed?

8 years ago

Thanks for the advice. I was also trying to figure out what the war was going to be about while I wrote. Still working on it. Ideas?

Oh uh I don't get what you're trying to say with the last paragraph. What did I say? I meant relation with her mother. Sorry.

How do you think my WC game should be constructed?

8 years ago

From what I've read of the fanfics, war in WC is not implemented in any realistic way. Most of the time its "a treaty was created but then broken!"

In the modern age most wars are fought over resources. See if you can do something with that.

I remember Will once brought up how the clans of WC books seem to do nothing but wage war, kill outsiders who don't want to join, and hunt. So expand on the concept of a cat clan.

How do you think my WC game should be constructed?

8 years ago

Thank you! I will use something like this concept. I really appreciate the advice.