mizal, The Apprentice Scrivener

Member Since


Last Activity

5/27/2017 11:36 AM

EXP Points


Post Count


Storygame Count


Duel Stats

1 win / 6 losses


Lauded Sage


"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass." --Anton Chekhov

I'm here on CYS primarily as a reader and reviewer. I have an interest in seeing good stories posted, and bad ones going away, and the site being a place readers can browse to reliably find quality work. I tend to be fairly busy during the week, but if you want general impressions or advice on a story or writing excerpt, feel free to PM me. (If you're new, just fyi getting advice and feedback is one of the things the Writing Workshop on the forums is for as well.)

Otherwise, past experience has taught me that the reason you're looking at my profile right now might be because I hurt your fragile feefees with critical remarks.


Haha I think Mizal has a gift for driving half-crazy members into full-fledged crazy :) - Will11

You made fun of something I am doing. That's not very nice. I want people to be nice. Please be nice. - some retard


Let me explain my approach to reviewing:

I said it just a moment ago, but I know words are hard, so I'll repeat: I'm here primarily as a reader and a reviewer. If I feel the thing I just read wasted my time, my review will reflect that.

A story, to be a story, needs an engaging plot, relatable characters and conflicts for them to overcome in a believable way. A rudimentary idea of pacing and structure and a creative idea or two thrown in the mix wouldn't hurt either! (Spelling, punctuation, grammar and proof reading are a given. Better to not publish at all if you can't even be bothered with that much.)

It's not any reader's job to pat you on the back for only failing to deliver in X or Y number of ways. When I see a story that's not a story, I rate it a one and move on. There are people happy to offer feedback, and you can write all you want for as long as you need, but once you hit that publish button you're throwing your work out into the wild and you'd better be sure it can stand on its own merits.

(Storygames with more focus on the 'game' part are rarer and have slightly different criteria, but they still need enough decent writing to hold them together, and above all need to be entertaining.)


Now, for all you kids just starting out, the Grammarly Handbook is a great resource, and above all I'd recommend you just read more books. Step away from comforting junk food like Warrior Cats a little while and challenge yourself by branching out to other genres, older books, and books above your age level. Whether you like them or don't like them, see if you can look at the author's choices from a meta level and identify why.

Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points Thorough and consistent writing workshop contributions / excellent commenting.


Now You Gotta Deal With This S***

A tale told in verse. A text from your sister requesting a pick up from a party leads to a night of strangeness.

Inspired by Bucky's ballad contest. Though...I wouldn't call this a ballad. I'm not sure what I'd call it, actually, other than exceedingly stupid, and fun to write.

(Don't pay any attention to the scores, they're just for me to track which endings reviewers get.)

Articles Written

CYS Forum Advice and Etiquette
A modernized guide to the forums. The path to internet popularity and happiness, and a few CYS specific do's and don'ts.

Recent Posts

Steve's Progressive! on 5/27/2017 11:00:15 AM
It's her legal right whether or not I agree with it. You just told me in chat 'the mother's rights mean jack and shit' so, okay, so in this extremely hypothetical scenario you created specifically to best prove whatever point you want to make, are you arguing the life or death of a child growing inside a woman's body should be decided by the father, the doctor, the government, or what exactly?

Steve's Progressive! on 5/27/2017 10:32:27 AM
And this is why I'm against third trimester abortions, because at some point a fetus does become a viable human being. Steve I guess sees significant difference between one week before being born and one week after, but there really is none outside of the legal definition of what a baby is. (And even then the legal definition is fuzzy, because I believe in at least some places you can be charged for their death if you were to say, assault a pregnant woman and cause a miscarriage.)

My uncle was born prematurely, so hey it turns out babies can actually survive and thrive outside the womb even at a development period where under normal circumstances they would still be considered fetuses and non-people and eligible for abortion.

But as for abortion in general, only a mother knows her own situation and whether she can handle the responsibility of bringing a child into the world at any given time, it's not something you can make a flat law for or against and have it fit every individual and their circumstance. It's not a decision that should be made frivolously either way, and not one that should be made based on anyone else's views and beliefs. It is her child. No one else should have the arrogance to think they get a say in whether a baby is 'defective' and doesn't deserve to live or 'lol just try again, who cares' any more than they should be able to force her to have a child she doesn't want in another situation.

Steve's Progressive! on 5/27/2017 9:54:54 AM
Next question (helpfully labeled): how many years do you have to be a member of a writing site before you're able to discern that a question mark denotes a question?

Steve's Progressive! on 5/27/2017 9:45:39 AM
There are no inherent rights to anything unless a law is established and enforced saying there is and to who it applies. This is an entire different issue than the personal beliefs of anyone on the site. Your view seems to be that all fetuses aren't people, but some are less people than others and therefore less deserving of a chance to be born. And you didn't answer my question. Going with the theme of 'political spectrum is a circle' mattc brought up in the original thread, I'm curious now at what point 'equal everything for everyone' becomes '....but not THOSE guys, fuck them they don't deserve it'

Steve's Progressive! on 5/27/2017 9:32:36 AM
Right, better get started now on calculating who most deserves to live before things get too overcrowded. Obviously not the disabled, but who do we move onto from there, in your opinion as a leftist socialist?

Steve's Progressive! on 5/27/2017 9:07:09 AM
IDK, with the amount of whining you do, I'd assume you were a pretty unhappy individual.

Steve's Progressive! on 5/27/2017 9:04:51 AM
I thought it was 27.

Steve's Progressive! on 5/27/2017 9:03:29 AM
It's weird that you assume 'doesn't want to take care of them anymore' vs 'can't take care of them anymore because they're not trained professionals able to quit jobs and schools to watch them and keep them clean and safe at a facility literally built for this 24/7'. Though even taking the most cynical view of nursing homes possible, it's hard to believe any place of business would be deliberately removing their source of income. And actually in my experience nursing homes, in hand with hospitals, go to every length possible to keep people alive well even after they maybe probably shouldn't be. Sometimes a DNR order is really the only thing that may eventually allow nature to take its course.

Steve's Progressive! on 5/27/2017 8:37:59 AM
Good idea. I'd take it a step further and sterilize the parents. Next thing you know they'll pop out a furry or tranny or even a Steve.

Steve's Progressive! on 5/27/2017 8:33:55 AM
I think you may be confused on the term 'pro choice'. It means the mother has a choice. If she chooses to have a child it's not anyone's business to say she shouldn't have. And let's not even get into the idea that you'd be able to measure and judge quality of life or capacity for happiness. Everyone has difficulties to one degree or another and and everyone is effected by then differently, and besides that the world and technology is constantly changing. (Often as a result of 'less optimal people' or in figuring out ways to help them. Maybe one day there will even be a cure for narcissism and sociopathy too...we can only hope, right?) You can't do predictions and calculations on someone's child and declare whether it's 'worth it' or not. With the amount of 'normal' people who are completely miserable or content to do nothing but drink every night or spend their lives watching reality shows and playing video games it kind of further skews the question of what counts as a useful or worthwhile life anyway. If we went with a flat robotic calculation of time and resources consumed vs time and resources contributed, I'm pretty sure not many would make the cut.