De Milite Inprudenti

Player Rating5.66/8

"#120 overall, #12 for 2015"
based on 256 ratings since 04/02/2015
played 2,476 times (finished 296)

Story Difficulty5/8

"run through the jungle"

Play Length2/8

"So short yo' momma thought it was a recipe"

Maturity Level4/8

"need to be accompanied by an adult"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.

Do you know what happens to knights who dare oppose me? They’re soundly beaten, torn to shreds, reduced to mere ashes, utterly and completely obliterated. No one can defeat the great and mighty (and—dare I say—quite handsome) Knarr'ator. I’m the best, most awesomest dragon there ever is, was, and will be. And yet here you stand, just a character in my story, challenging me like the fool you are. If you think you stand a chance against me, you’ve got another think coming.

But by all means, go ahead and try.

Player Comments

The first thing I want to point out about the storygame is the use of the dragon as the narrator. That was such a unique concept, and it really helps he storygame seem much more interesting. It was a very fun read, and is most definitely the best dragon-based game on the site.

The writing itself was very good, but sometimes it did feel a little weak at some points. I think there is a mistake as well, where you go through the hall of skulls and it takes you to the page after passing the lava pit. The whole storygame is basically climax, so it's very action-packed, but it just lacks everything else that makes a good storygame. It doesn't feel complete.

It was a little short as well, and it didn't hold up to its true potential. There was only a few characters with hardly and development, and each choice is basically a guess, rather than a calculated decision. I have high hopes for that other dragon game that I see you're working on. You did a good job with the use of the advanced editor.

There was no spelling or grammar mistakes that I noticed, and the only other stake was the one I had mentioned earlier about the hall of skulls and the lava pit. An enjoyable read. 5/8
-- Nyctophilia on 11/5/2017 5:06:38 PM with a score of 0
Beautiful! Love how there is a first person narration and the player himself isn't said narrator! I'll need to steal that idea, hehe!

But seriously, great, refreshing game! It's a bit short but it's still a VERY high quality and I feel the short length helps ensure it doesn't overstay its welcome.

P.S. Love how you have the illustration of the dragon on your intro page! You'll need to tell me how you did that sometime, haha!
-- Aducan on 9/25/2015 10:07:09 AM with a score of 0
Overall, the story was fairly interesting.

I don't know how you did it, but you were able to put that cool dragon head in the description, and that certainly makes a good impression. That, and the use of the dragon as the narrator brought a refreshing spice to your story and narration (oh, the irony).

The story was relatively short along with the descriptions, but everything seemed to be well written, and I found myself laughing-especially toward the end. My only concern was that you may have a page-link error. Right after I left the hall of skulls, the page brought me to a page that said I cleared the lava-pit. I don't know if it was intentional, but you may want to fix that, even if I was still able to finish the story.

Either way, it appears as though this is one of the well-thought out stories of recent memory.

Don't you be thinkin' that I ain't never gonna not give you any sort o' score! 5/8.
-- LeoScales7 on 4/1/2015 2:26:42 PM with a score of 0
I was very close to giving this a score of 8/8. It's short, sweet, and really very amusing.

My only concern was that I wasn't sure if I had reached a real ending or not, as the end page seemed a little abrupt.

Overall, I had a real fun time with this!
-- LL on 1/20/2020 5:38:35 AM with a score of 0
WARNING: Spoilers Ahead

I really like the writing style. I agree with other commentators that having the antagonist as the narrator is rather unique. I enjoyed the play on words with the dragon’s name (Knarr’ator), and the quips he made at the player character often had me chuckling. (For example: his over-exaggeration of the difficulty of the riddle was funny, given that any answer was deemed ‘correct’). I also loved how there were several fourth wall elements throughout the story. The dragon’s extreme annoyance at the use of double negatives in literature was clever.

I liked how you changed the background colour, and the fonts you used for both the titles and the main text. I did find a few minor typos. For example, on the page where you encountered a second dragon, you wrote: “You look up to see that standing before you is none other than wyvern.” Since wyvern is a type of dragon (and not the character’s name), it should read as “a wyvern”. Also, after this character told you the Knarr’ator’s weakness, the antagonist says “…What. Okay, c’mon now; don’t listen to him.” There should have been a question mark after ‘what’.
Overall, I enjoyed the story. I do agree with other readers that it might have been better if it were longer, though I’m not sure that would really fit with the premise of the game. I also would have liked to see a few more endings. It would’ve been interesting to find an ending where we can make peace with the antagonist, for example. In a way, the good endings felt unsatisfactory because they resulted in the story suddenly ending. (For example, annoying the Knarr’ator with double negatives causes him to refuse to continue telling the story, and slaying the dragon causes him to remark how you’ve cut the tale short). Though I did think these were clever, since nothing good can come from destroying a story’s narrator, I wish there was some way to feel like I ‘succeeded’.
-- Reader82 on 11/23/2019 6:12:39 PM with a score of 0
this was really good and honestly hilarious, but i was there was an actual ending
-- H1GH_C0NF3SS0R on 11/5/2019 2:16:33 PM with a score of 0
A fun story about trying to slay a dragon. This story is unique in that the dragon is also the narrator. I don't have anything more to add. Your enemy is the narrator, that's cool enough for me.
-- DerPrussen on 6/24/2019 7:57:49 PM with a score of 0
It's very good. I like how it is written, like the dragon is saying everything. Confusing him with double negatives was funny. I should make my brother play this- he drives me crazy by saying them!

The grammar was pretty good, and there were no big spelling errors, but it was confusing at times because... well... how did the dragon see me in the riddle room, exactly? How??? Other than that, it was good.

The characters were hardly developed at all. They had no real personalities, but I doubt you could have made them much better with such a short story.
-- BgirlStories on 5/7/2019 10:29:54 AM with a score of 0
This game was funny. I wish you would of made it into a longer game.
-- Faervel on 12/27/2018 1:40:14 PM with a score of 0
Dead Dragon
-- corgi213 on 3/3/2018 6:11:21 PM with a score of 0
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