Don't Hurt Me Again
"Too few ratings to be ranked"
played 387 times (finished 36)
"walk in the park"
"A well spent lunch break"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 18. If this were a movie, it would probably be R.
This is an entry for BZ's Creatures of the Night Contest. There are two different kinds of monsters. One is a monster because of what they are, like vampires or zombies. Others are monsters because of what they do. They wear human flesh, but they are not human.
Good. Too short; not enough choices.
on 12/30/2018 11:15:54 AM with a score of 0
The quality of the writing is quite good overall, but there are still several mistakes in the first few pages that I'll point out here.
-"foreword" is the beginning of a book, not a direction. Unless the author typed this on a mobile device, it's probably not a typo.
-"This is" the first time I've ever seen the contraction "this’s". Quite creative but unfortunately doesn't actually exist.
-"You’ll get to rests soon." should have "rest" instead of "rests". "Get to" and similar verbs are almost always followed by a plural verb.
As for the content (spoilers, obviously):
-I did realize that I would be playing as the dead mother of the girl from the first page almost immediately.
-The illusion or whatever that happens after your character's daughter declares "I'm going to a hospital, mother" is presented in a really confusing way, and I still couldn't understand it after read through several times.
-The story was extremely linear, with every choice except one always being a bad ending.
-The ending was abrupt, and the story feels very incomplete.
on 12/10/2018 8:08:10 AM with a score of 0
Solid story. The sudden jump to repeatedly slapping the kid, and how normalized it was for the protagonist, was interesting. It helped illuminate the madness of being a monster.
on 11/5/2018 11:16:56 PM with a score of 0
Truly wonderful. A bit shorter than I thought, but very good in that short time.
Loved all the bits making fun of the fat teacher. The protagonist sounded like an absolute shit.
One more thing, I loved the_
on 11/4/2018 11:03:49 PM with a score of 0
Loved the imagery.
on 11/3/2018 12:00:08 PM with a score of 0
Still love your writing. :)
on 10/31/2018 8:52:32 PM with a score of 0
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