Jack at the Tracks
, #37 for
played 911 times (finished 178)
"trek through the forest"
"Make sure not to blink"
"must be at least this tall to play"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 10. If this were a movie, it would probably be between G and PG.
You're hanging out with your friends and you hear a terrible car crash nearby! Jump into action jack!
While it was extremely short, I did enjoy what little I read.
The small amount of pages AND two to four sentences per page made for a very short storygame with not a lot of plot development. However, what I did read, I liked a lot because what I got to see of the plot and setting was creative and enjoyable to read.
There wasn't a lot of character development here, and not a lot of emotion for that matter.
There was also some illogical stuff in this storygame, such as Crescent stated, the heavily bleeding people are somehow unharmed? How does that work? They have to have a nasty wound to be bleeding heavily, and unless they're Hercules that would hurt pretty bad.
The writing style had potential, but without detail and development, a storygame is just not a storygame.
2/8, try harder please.
on 3/21/2017 11:45:59 PM with a score of 0
First: "while they are bleeding heavily, they are basically unharmed" ... Um ok. So despite their heavy bleeding, they're unharmed? The blood had to come from somewhere on them, and if something is bleeding a lot, chances are, there's a big injury!
It's a very, very basic storygame with a very basic plot.
Crash-->help-->end = too short
Your grammar/writing is decent. There were some randomly capitalized letters, but otherwise, I didn't notice anything else. You need more detail and background information. Otherwise, if you don't choose to expand this incredibly short storygame, you could probably just fatten it up a bit.
on 12/8/2016 10:11:09 PM with a score of 0
The grammar was not great, for starters. I ended the game feeling rather confused. There could definitely be more added to the story... I don't know.
on 4/29/2017 7:01:53 PM with a score of 0
Eh... it's pretty short. :/
on 12/21/2016 3:45:01 AM with a score of 0
Way too short, but not a bad plot.
on 12/1/2016 1:06:01 AM with a score of 0
This was okay. It could have used some more length and detail, but for what it was this was a good and creative idea for a story game. 3/8.
on 7/16/2015 11:06:45 AM with a score of 0
Entertaining story even though it was a little short.
on 5/11/2015 12:43:05 PM with a score of 0
Exciting, but short. Make more of these stories please, I enjoyed the action, even if there wasn't much story to have action in.
on 8/26/2014 6:05:50 AM with a score of 0
It was fun
on 1/1/2014 1:14:28 AM with a score of 0
Lol. This was good but short.
on 8/31/2013 11:07:24 PM with a score of 0
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