Player Rating5.17/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 79 ratings since 06/22/2018
played 209 times (finished 8)

Story Difficulty5/8

"run through the jungle"

Play Length6/8

"It'll be a while, better grab a Snickers®"

Maturity Level4/8

"need to be accompanied by an adult"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.

This is part of the School Based storygame contest.

This is Lawrence's final few days at Hawthorn School. Things become... memorable.

There is also an indirect sequel to one of the endings (the one with the highest point value). Here it is.

After two years, I want through and made a few slight changes. I polished a few things and made several grammar and spelling corrections.

Player Comments

Starting out reading, I’m trying to get a feel for where I am. It felt like present-day, but when I read about the tombstone that lasted hundreds of years, now it sounds like either fantasy setting or future setting. A minor potential typo on “The Graveyard” page: “the Maples.” Is the soft breeze blowing through maple trees? If so, that should be lower case, I believe. But if it is blowing through sometime called “the Maples,” then I’m not sure what that is now. Another minor type is “m’amm,” I think that should be “ma’am.”

I like the first page, but it leaves me with questions. There are some good descriptions to help set the mood, but there’s not enough for me to understand what’s going on. Someone is walking through the graveyard. Then they hear bells. So I’m guessing the school is next to the graveyard. And apparently there’s an old lady that hangs out in the graveyard next to the school, too. I guess it was attempted to be repaired with an explanation at the end, but it was still a bit unclear.

I’m confused again with the rush to the schoolhouse. The bells stopped and the character knew they were late…but they were early. Is this their first day at the school? I mean they were expecting to be late, but suddenly they were early. Not a huge deal, but a bit confusing. And then again in the next section – one moment the person was the only person in the room, but the next moment the instructor was talking to the class. The story is good, but it feels like there’s some transitions and sections just missing while I read along.

There are choices at times in the story, and they do appear to have an effect on the story. However, there were also a number of pages with no choices. I like the relationships option and appreciate those effects on the story. I like the building and changing of those relationships as the story progresses. Overall it is a nice story, thank you for sharing it here.
-- Ogre11 on 5/12/2018 7:22:42 PM with a score of 200
A well written story about school. This one felt more 'school' to me than any other in the contest. The characters felt real and believable and the setting seemed very tangible. Good entry. My only nitpick is that many of the choices didn't really have consequences and so it felt less like interactive fiction and more like just fiction.
-- donteatpoop on 7/7/2016 1:35:24 PM with a score of 220
-- Marneptunez on 2/2/2018 4:53:36 PM with a score of 335
This game was simply AWESOME.
-- Snowflame on 4/7/2017 10:13:54 PM with a score of 400
This book is one of the best I've read so far!!! I still do not understand what Mag is, or who the wife is, but I know one thing for sure; THIS IS THE BOOK OF THE CENTURY! Best wishes!
-- jamma192 on 2/19/2017 1:19:39 PM with a score of 1400
Pleasant and interesting. A few grammar problems throughout. The ending I got left me with lots of questions. ???
-- Quorrah on 12/24/2016 3:21:20 PM with a score of 310
I liked this.
-- Mage on 12/14/2016 8:01:19 AM with a score of 400
Extremely well written!
-- neeoandblack on 8/28/2016 4:06:01 PM with a score of 1400
Checking score
-- Maria II on 7/9/2016 11:49:44 PM with a score of 360
Wow, I really enjoyed this game. Curious to see what my score is lol
-- WishfulThinking on 7/8/2016 2:41:19 PM with a score of 340
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