The Horror Inside

a Horror by Ogre11

Commended by BerkaZerka on 11/11/2018 10:50:16 AM

Player Rating5.93/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 30 ratings since 10/31/2018
played 450 times (finished 36)

Story Difficulty1/8

"no possible way to lose"

Play Length5/8

"Not going to lose any sleep"

Maturity Level5/8

"aren't you a little too old to be trick or treating"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG-13.
Drew was a fantastic accountant. He really enjoyed his job and he was good at it. But one day something started happening to him, and he just wasn't quite sure what was going on...

Created for BerkaZerka's Creatures of the Night Contest

Player Comments

First off, I want to say that I loved the look of the story. It isn't often that I come across that kind of scripting and I felt that it added to the atmosphere of the story.

The story is another survival horror fiction where the twist is that you aren't trying to survive being hunted, so much as you are trying to survive your own inner beasts. I thought that was an interesting take on this type of story and it's done fairly well. It has that feel of a classical CYOA book where it tells you to go forward to one page, then back to another. If you choose to explore the paths in depth, you'll find that one decision could take you from path A to path B to path C. Then while on path C, you change your mind or something happens and you end up back on path A again. Even with that in mind, there are still plenty of endings for you to explore, so it gives you a bit of incentive to try out every option because you can't be too sure where it might lead.

The writing, grammar, and punctuation are all fine. My biggest problem with this story is the pacing. The pacing throughout this story ranges from slow to moderate with it rarely, if ever, picking up beyond that. So I'm left feeling no sense of urgency in parts of the story where I think there definitely should be. And maybe I'm reading too much into this, but there's never any explanation or anything hinting the reason Drew even has this "Horror Inside." If he's an adult and hasn't had any problems until now, then it would have to mean that he just recently got this horror. But it just sort of...happens.

Overall, this is a good story and I think it's certainly worth a read. My final verdict is a 5/8.
-- Domitus on 11/30/2018 2:24:56 AM with a score of 0
Why in 3rd person?
-- Geordie on 2/22/2019 7:08:49 AM with a score of 0
This was an interesting game.
-- Faervel on 2/3/2019 11:24:55 AM with a score of 0
Some grammar issues. Otherwise enjoyable.
-- Quorrah on 12/30/2018 9:35:15 AM with a score of 0
Very interesting! Great read!
-- Groot on 12/16/2018 10:17:02 PM with a score of 0
It’s okay but way overrated and certainly not worthy of a commendation. 3/8
-- Victim on 12/12/2018 2:16:28 AM with a score of 0
Given that it was a short survival horror in reverse, it was pretty linear if you wanted to avoid death (only two identical endings in different locations).
Grammar is generally good and I appreciated the realistic impossibility of controlling the beast form. I didn't expect there would be so many supernatural fanatics out to get you though lol.
-- undr on 11/2/2018 4:35:36 AM with a score of 0
Cool game, I liked the formatting.
-- Terrence on 10/31/2018 4:18:25 PM with a score of 0
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