3/20/2021

5/17/2025 12:03 AM

10

0

0 wins / 0 losses

Marauder

Proto Singularity

unpublished

🚧 Work In Progress: forgive the typos, glitches, and incomplete texts 🚧

You've dedicated your life to transferring human consciousness into a machine. Natural Machine Intelligence, as you've called it, would transform our relationship with computers and even allow us to live forever. More importantly, it will prevent Artificial Intelligence from surpassing human intelligence, evolving into the technological singularity, and becoming an uncontrollable threat to humanity.

But your employer's patience is wearing thin. Unless you can demonstrate some kind of breakthrough with Natural Machine Intelligence, your years-long project will be cancelled. Everything you've worked for and sacrificed will be for nothing, and the technological singularity will arrive.

Authors Note: Proto Singularity is philosophical journey into consciousness, and is told using a story-heavy, puzzle-solving storygame. You'll need to carefully balance time and resources to reach the more complex endings. It's intended to be played multiple times, and it may take a playthrough or two to get a feel for the mechanics. If you prefer to stick to the story, there's a somewhat hidden walkthrough early on that will explain how to play.

Wonderful ideas, this helps me a lot. I realize that you must have NOOP'd too early, which would have eaten precious weeks without "seeing it". I just now hid that option until after doing a READ-WRITE-READ sequence; that initial R-W-R buys more time, and then unlocks new WRITE options to gain even more time, increase memory, and increase CPU. I'll add these to my TODO: * add some kind of hint that the "Manually send a signal" is a deadend to prevent reader from trying to guess * add clues (run simulation?) to help user figure out how to upgrade in act 1 so at least have a shot of not being immediately Terminated after adapting * encourage reader to replay after a bad endings (especially Terminated), perhaps telling them the exact upgrade formula on how to not waste time in the first act, so they can just skip ahead to second act quickly I think the "real story" comes in the epilogues; I think the "Adapted" epilogue is the most fun to play, but I like the story of the "Transcended" epilogue the best. Anyway ---- if you want to try again, I unhid the a warp link on the first page that skips to Act 2 with minimal requirements.

Thank you for the feedback, that's very helpful :) I fixed those typos, and definitely need to come back and do a proofreading check. I've just been writing a page here and there, and there's not as much consistency as there should be. Great advice on reworking the first act; I'm thinking I could shift a lot of the question-based exposition into interactions/encounters with Alana, mom, etc., or "walking around" the the lab and "looking at" things or whatever. Oh the replayed memories originally had their own page.... but I just kept cutting and cutting my Work-in-Progress pages😅 -- but now I'm feeling more motivated to go back and finish up the story bits. It really feels like a lame shortcut. By the way... what did you mean by "page that set the tone halfway or two-thirds into each route"? As in, like expressing the urgency of the deadline or something? Or like, grounding reader somehow? Just trying to picture it.

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. And I just went in and fixed the typos! Otherwise, it sounds like you escaped the recliner... did that require the walkthrough? I was worried that puzzle would be a turnoff so early on. The "Manually send a signal" option does nothing... it's just a deadend. I'm on the fence if it's a good idea. I wanted to give the feeling of being trapped and doing something while accomplishing nothing. There are no secret codes - and thematically, your biological self would not be looking for anything. That said, everything should work; there are 8 to 10 pages with a 🚧 Work In Progress 🚧 banner. So based on what you wrote, you experienced the Terminated ending by running out of time while trying to develop new commands. I'd be very curious if you remember what steps you took. I'm guessing that it took a few too many tries to guess out how to fork, and then you couldn't buy extra time. I wonder if I should simplify the initial fork mechanic, perhaps by moving Software optimization options, and only allowing hardware; I cannot think of a way to drop hints on the formula needed, except the fact that there's 18 weeks available but 20 weeks of upgrades. Oh do you remember seeing a "Weeks Left" notice after escaping? If not, you must not have READ/WRITE messages enough. Overall, my goal was to have the storygame played a few times to experience the different endings, but have each iteration be a bit of a learning experience. No real theme there, but it's a time-based puzzle, so hard to "win" at that without trying a few times.

500 points?

Following advice from @Clayfinger, I'd love to get a second set of eyes on Proto Singularity. I've been staring at it for a while and would love to get your feedback.

It's mostly complete, but there are a few "under construction" pages and a ton of typos. Probably mechanical glitches as well. And I feel the Adapted path ended up getting a bit too complex and wonky.

I hope the summary is better (it sounded like AI before) and that the rest of the writing doesn't come across like that. The only place I used AI was for the "cover art" - and that seems pretty obvious. I can ditch it if you think it's better without.

Thanks for the feedback! I started a new topic on AI-generated content. It's very obvious I need a proofreader and fresh set of eyes.

UGH: I swear that the title wasn't cut off like that when I posted it, but I pasted it in after spell checking. I can't seem to change it. I would appreciate a mod assist if possible 🙏 As for the summary, I think this is better, but feedback welcome of course: --- You've dedicated your life to transferring human consciousness into a machine. Natural Machine Intelligence, as you've called it, would transform our relationship with computers and even allow us to live forever. More importantly, it will prevent Artificial Intelligence from surpassing human intelligence, evolving into the technological singularity, and becoming an uncontrollable threat to humanity. But your employer's patience is wearing thin. Unless you can demonstrate some kind of breakthrough with Natural Machine Intelligence, your years-long project will be cancelled. Everything you've worked for and sacrificed will be for nothing, and the technological singularity will come. Authors Note: Proto Singularity is philosophical journey into consciousness, and is told using a story-heavy, puzzle-solving storygame. You'll need to carefully balance time and resources to reach the more complex endings. It's intended to be played multiple times, and it may take a playthrough or two to get a feel for the mechanics. If you prefer to stick to the story, there's a somewhat hidden walkthrough early on that will explain how to play.

I was surprised at the responses to my question about taking a storygame through the last mile, and wanted to start a new topic.

I do not use gen AI for writing (nor did I for that summary), but I've obviously played around with it quite a lot and can spot AI stuff.

I'm curious, what gives you the impression that the linked summary (or any summary/writing) is AI generated?

Rereading the summary I posted, I wonder:
* was it the length?
* is the subject matter (technological singularity, uncontrollable AI) such a known trope that explanation isn't needed?
* is it the "enticing" tone I used?
* there were some (embarassing) typos and sloppy writing; although AI won't make those mistakes, maybe that made it seem low-quality?
* is it a "first-time poster" bias, and there's been a glut of AI-dribble?

I looked at a number of summaries on top-rated stories:
* with the exception of EndMaster's, most use an enticing tone discussing the story
* several discuss mechanics,
* most are shorter

My overall take is that my summary seemed AI because of the length, sloppy writing, and that it "tries too hard" to entice the reader to try it. In retrospect, I should have finalized the summary before posting it. I just wanted to give some context as to what I was working on. 🙄

Yes... I'm not sure I understand what/why you're asking?

Hi everyone, Longtime lurker, first time poster :) I've been working on a storygame for a while now, but I'm struggling to "finalize" it. I'm hoping for some advice on how to carry it over the finish line. Here is the summary: ---- Proto Singularity. The technological singularity marks the moment where the growth of artificial intelligence becomes uncontrollable, resulting in unforeseeable changes to civilization. Many great thinkers, from Stephen Hawking to Elon Musk, believe that the singularity is not only inevitable, but that it result in the extension of humanity. But you and your team at Altradyne believe there's a way for humanity to not only survive, but thrive in the technological singularity comes. You simply need to prevent artificial intelligence from surpassing human intelligence. Not by stopping AI, but by perfecting Natural Machine Intelligence. That is, putting human intelligence -- your own mind, to start -- into a machine. Not everyone at Altradyne believes in your mission, and for good reason - your years-long project hasn't been showing promise, but not results. It's now on the verge of being cancelled unless you can demonstrate some kind of breakthrough in the coming months. Can you develop Natural Machine Intelligence in time? -- Proto Singularity is philosophical journey into consciousness, and is told using a story-heavy, puzzle-solving storygame. You'll need to carefully balance time and resources to reach the more complex endings. This storygame is intended to be played multiple times, and it may take a playthrough or two to get a feel for the mechanics. If you prefer to stick to the story, there's a somewhat hidden walkthrough early on that will explain how to play. ----- The beginning, middle, and endings are basically written, but there are a few "backstory" pages that I've outlined, but I just keep getting writers block on. Every time I sit down to write one, I just stare at the screen and then move on to something else. Like... this message, or proofing, or tweaking/testing mechanics. And on that note, the mechanics (mostly "time-based puzzles" I suppose?) are finished, but I'm worried that they're too easy. Or too difficult. So I keep adding clues, removing clues, tweaking difficulty, etc. I've been staring at it forever, so it all makes perfect sense to me. Should I err on the side of "too difficult" and have a walkthrough? And lastly... do you recommend a "beta-test" period or something? I saw some storygames do that, but not all. Maybe feedback would help motivate me to finalize and publish this.