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"Lillian, I have a confession for you," said Jack. Lillian looked at Jack solemnly and said, "What do you mean Jack?" Jack replied with, "Well it's just that, oh never mind" "Jack, you can tell me anything. We're best friends," Lillian said. Jack took a deep breath and said, "Well, I was staring through your window last night, and I saw the way your boobs shined in the moonlight." Jack's face became more and more sadistic. Lillian frightfully replied with "JACK, NO! I DON'T LIKE YOU THAT WAY!" "That's a pity, Jack said, "I've always had a bit of a crush on you" Jack suddenly grabbed Lillian and threw her against the wall. He had planned for this for 5 years, ever since they had met at college. He threw her on the bed and tied her hands to the bed frame  up with two pieces of rope. He then whipped out his penis and began to rape her. She screamed loudly as there was no hope for her. She was trapped. But then, Jack went to go get a sandwich. Now was the time for her escape. She grabbed a baseball bat and she charged downstairs. But then, she felt the cold blade of Jack's knife hit her stomach. She felt as her intestines poured out and she  fell. Jack took her and confirmed the kill by slitting her throat in a wide red smile. After throwing a dead Lillian to the floor, he took out his spare (just in case) Magnum .44. He put the barrel to his temple, and he pulled the trigger. When the police got there, they could only find one one body on the scene, the body of Jack Hunter. When a police officer found a note that laid out a plan in order to rape Lillian Pollovic, they immediately called a search. But the results didn't come up what they would have thought. After careful forensic examination they have confirmed that there was no such person as Lillian Pollovic.

 

I think it's too late, and I think you're BlueSabre

It's apparently not him, though I'm moving the entry over here since he missed the deadline anyway, and I'm currently trying to keep that thread relatively free of anymore clutter.

Date: Death

Dear Diary,

Ughhh! I hate my parents!!! Jeezus their so annoying and fucking asinine. Humans should just all go die in a hole. Father is such a bossy, typical male, and how could Mother accept being so traditional and submitting? They're all idiots. Idiots. FUCK THEM.

I might as well just die. My heart is nonexistent, my soul left me when I was born, and my brain is useless anyway. All those people who think they're so cool are all the same. They don't understand how I feel. Nobody understands emotions these days. Everybody wants to be a prince or princess with rich, beauty, and love, but life doesn't work that way. It's always miserable and stupid. Humans have no purpose except live, fuck, and die. We're all just animals from the start.

Fuck, even I want to be a princess with my prince charming, but they all died a long ago. Guys just wanna get into someone's pants. They can't control their puny members. Love doesn't even exist anymore.

Gawd. My life is so horrible, and I should just die. I'll go to Hell anyway, so it doesn't really matter. Heaven is just a dressed-up hell, and God's for cowards. The Bible is the greatest example of humankinds' flaws and stupidity. Religion encourages terrorism and rape.

Ohmygod people these days! They're all just so fucking greedy and fat and want stuff for nothing! They never work for anything and are always pretending. I'm never happy. I don't know how to be happy anymore. Nobody gets it. They have these bitchy smiles on their uglyass faces. I just wanna killmyself.

Hate can't describe my feelings. I always see the glass half empty. Maybe I should dare my parents to just read this. Then maybe they can see how much I hate them.

x3 I just had to. Reading through the original thread was just hilarious. It's all made up doe. :3

?EDIT: Even my room is painted black like the color of my dead, nonexisting heart. :D

Might as well make use of this thread. Writing sprint!


Dear Diary,

i hate my mom and I hate my dad

Dear Diary,

i hate my mom so much!!!! why won't she just buy me what I want? I threw myself down on the floor of the store and screamed and screamed, that'll show her. When we got home she said I had to wash dishes and I threw one against the wall!!!

now I'm stuck in my room, ugh


Dear Diary,

Mom told me to go to my room again after I said she was a fat disgusting cunt and that it was no wonder dad left, but then I started screaming that she was hitting me and yelled 'somebody call 911' a whole bunch lolololol. Now I think she's scared of me.

Dear Diary,

Jared appreciates and pays attention to me the way no one else in my so called family ever did. He is my prince charming and I've never been so in love. I really think he's the one I'm going to be with forever. We're both going to drop out and start working so we can move in with each other. I don't know if I'm even going to bother to tell my mom, that bitch just locks herself in her room now and ignores me half the time anyway.

Dear Diary,

God, I thought Kylie would NEVER shut up. She didn't want the formula, I think it's spoiled anyway, but I put some orange pop in a baby bottle and she finally stopped her damn ungodly screeching. I'm so sick of this. My mom won't take her again after I didn't come back for a few days last time. THANKS MOM. Useless as always.

It doesn't help that I have to go to work and listen to that useless starry eyed princess Amy babbling about her new boyfriend 'ohh he's so special he brought me flowers' blaaaarg I'm going to puke. I hope he gives her AIDS. Anyway Jared needs to hurry the fuck up with the payments, this damned baby is his responsibility too.

Dear Diary,

I'm gonna lose it. I'm really gonna lose it. Having a drink right now just to calm my nerves. That ungrateful little bitch is in the bathroom throwing a fit and just screaming and screaming. Feels like nails on a chalkboard inside my skull. All because she doesn't want to take a bath. Well tough shit you little slut, you have to now because MOM just had to call CPS like a spiteful cunt and so the house has to be clean and you have to take baths and that's final.

But no parent should have to put up with this. It's not fair.

--there she goes throwing her toys again and FUCK THIS I'M DONE. She's taking a bath BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT EVERYONE WANTS SO FINE, YOU THINK I'M AN UNFIT MOTHER WELL YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT.

Kylie I'm coming and I'm going to hold you under the water until you SHUT UP FOREVER and I never have to put up with this again. Why did God curse me with such a terrible daughter?

Lol.

^

(How did you know I used to like Jared???) and i just continued off of yours if that's okay. If not, I'll delete it.

Dear Diary

Jared is such a fucking dickbag! He thinks he can just quit with the job because it's my kid but he's the fucking father of the brat. I can't support some dumbass child. Omygod I think bitchiness skips a generation now the kid is like mother so annoying and worthless.everyone should just go die in a hole and fuck off.

School is such a waste of my tiiiiiime I have a goddamn kid to take care of like wtf. WHY IS EVERYONE LEAVING ME FUCK??

Dear Diary

those retarded CPS people want to take the fucking child—JUST TAKE HER I DON'T FREAKING CARE i don't want some brat running around the house like a little slut.

Jared came back apologizing said he didn't want the child like you freaking had sex with me and now you don't want to take responsibilities of the consequences like go to hell already.

Sometimes it's better just not to post.

Late Edgistration

Gonna do a review of this.

"Lillian, I have a confession for you," said Jack.

I can tell this is gonna be fun.

Lillian looked at Jack solemnly and said, "What do you mean Jack?" Jack replied with, "Well it's just that, oh never mind"

That's... uh... I think that last sentence was a bit odd. I think that maybe three dots would be more appropriate then a comma.

"Jack, you can tell me anything. We're best friends," Lillian said. Jack took a deep breath and said, "Well, I was staring through your window last night, and I saw the way your boobs shined in the moonlight." Jack's face became more and more sadistic.

The fuck? That escalated quickly... these characters personalitites change in ten seconds, Jack was all shy a moment ago and now he seems to be a rapist.

Lillian frightfully replied with "JACK, NO! I DON'T LIKE YOU THAT WAY!" "That's a pity, Jack said, "I've always had a bit of a crush on you" Jack suddenly grabbed Lillian and threw her against the wall. He had planned for this for 5 years, ever since they had met at college.

Dear lord. First off, you forgot a quotation mark, and this seems more then a "bit of a crush," since he's in the process of raping his "best friend." Unless of course Jack is illogical and insane like the rest of this story.

He threw her on the bed and tied her hands to the bed frame  up with two pieces of rope. He then whipped out his penis and began to rape her. She screamed loudly as there was no hope for her. She was trapped. But then, Jack went to go get a sandwich.

I think Lillian would have at least some way of fighting back before he tied her hands to the bed, and she could still kick him couldn't she? Also, Jack is the stupidest person ever, who rapes their best friend and goes, "i'm gonna leave them there and go make a sandwich?"

Now was the time for her escape. She grabbed a baseball bat and she charged downstairs.

I thought she was tied? And he just happens to have a baseball bat in his room? Ok then.

But then, she felt the cold blade of Jack's knife hit her stomach. She felt as her intestines poured out and she  fell. Jack took her and confirmed the kill by slitting her throat in a wide red smile. After throwing a dead Lillian to the floor, he took out his spare (just in case) Magnum .44.

I don't know how she could be this guys best friend for five years without knowing what a rapist he is. And how the fuck does she not notice that he has in his house, a baseball bat, rope, and a Magnum .44?

He put the barrel to his temple, and he pulled the trigger. When the police got there, they could only find one one body on the scene, the body of Jack Hunter. When a police officer found a note that laid out a plan in order to rape Lillian Pollovic, they immediately called a search. But the results didn't come up what they would have thought. After careful forensic examination they have confirmed that there was no such person as Lillian Pollovic.

I really cannot think of a more cliche ending then this.

That was fun. Not. 2/10, critics are not raving.

Not to mention there's just a wall of text and it's not split into paragraphs.

I can't tell if this is for real, to be honest. 

Is this a joke or is it...for...reals...

I think it was meant to be serious, but it was written very quickly and sloppily.