Forums » Creative Corner » Read Thread

So... After my little rant about CoG drama, I figured I should probably make a thread for my CoG contest entry.

Basically, it's a steampunk style game where the protagonist is forced into a life of crime in order to survive. Here's the blurb for a more detailed summary:

The age of magic is dying. The age of science has only begun. In Brass Haven, airships fly overhead, cybernetic body enhancements are becoming a fashion trend, and cogs, gears and sprockets make the world go round. But what was meant to be the land of opportunity turns out to be the most dangerous, corrupt and poverty-stricken slum in all the kingdom. Your only chance for survival… To join forces with the most notorious criminal guild in the city.

The Lawless Ones is a 250,000 word interactive steampunk adventure novel by Avery Moore, where your choices control the story. It's entirely text-based, without graphics or sound effects, and fuelled by the vast, unstoppable power of your imagination.

Fight beside thieves and villains in the ultimate struggle for survival. Pick pockets, rob houses, negotiate trades with rival guilds and even steal valuable new technology from the Monarch’s guard itself. Will you become the greatest criminal mastermind the kingdom has ever seen, or can you turn a guild of infamous outlaws into a force for good?

• Play as male, female, transgender or non-binary. Gay, straight, bi or asexual.
• Grow from a naive child, to a savvy and streetwise adult.
• Find friendship, rivalry or love with a thief, a con man, a fighter, a courtesan, an inventor and an assassin.
• Solve the mystery of a deadly creature that has been slaughtering the children of your organisation.
• Outwit, outrun, outmanoeuvre, outfight and outlive anyone who gets in your way.
• Choose from six different origin stories and discover six possible epilogues throughout the game.
• Terrorise the streets of Brass Haven, or use your influence to make the city a better place.

So, the game has been completed and submitted to the CoG contest, so now I just have to wait around for a few months for the staff at CoG to finish judging. (There's not many CoG staff and there's a lot of entries, so... Yeah, it's going to take awhile.)

Here's the link to the demo if any of you want to read it. Let me know what you think. ^_^

https://dashingdon.com/play/averymoore/villains-demo/mygame/

So the first major choice in the story...

1. It’s not right. I’m too young. It’s too soon. How can it end like this?

2. Perhaps it’s better this way. Why should I suffer any longer? I have nothing to live for.

3. No! No, it can’t end like this. I have to get up! I have to fight!

Obviously this is just a minor alteration of the "Beg, Die, Struggle" choice from Eternal. Plagiarist!

No! Shit! I've been caught! please Mr End sir, spare me the banhammer of doom!!! 

(Actually added that choice in the very last minute since, apparently, CoG don't like it when games start off with a choice like "What's your name?" or "What's your gender?" Never noticed that before.) 

 Cthulu DickPoker.    Just another unfortunate soul, lured to the city of Brass Haven by the promise of opportunity and the dream of a new life.

I'd say this is a great start so far :D

Yey! Thank you ^_^

That looks pretty awesome so far, Briar. ^_^ I can't wait to see the rest.

I've played through a lot of the paths so far - 45 points of achievement out of 95 it seems - and I think it's completely worth it. It's really interesting to see what the different paths lead to, and how it effects things later. I'll prolly be playing through the rest of the paths later.

(just some musings here. Not too terribly important at all.)

I think Carlota, if she is honestly trying to be as much of a bitch to you as possible, would probably use the wrong pronouns too. Ie, if you're transgender male-to-female, having her still call you a he would probably add to the sense of bitchiness. Otherwise, it sounds like he heavily dislikes you but will still respect you enough to use the correct pronouns. I mean. Until she poisons you I guess. If she's putting on an act for your father, then perhaps the wrong ones at first to stab at you and then she corrects herself for your father's sake.

Thanks Crash! Really glad you like it so far. ^_^

The pronouns thing actually sounds like a really good idea. If it were submitted as a "Hosted Games" title, I wouldn't worry so much about it. But since it's been submitted as a "Choice of Games" title though, I'd be wary of changing it, since the CoG community generally doesn't like seeing discrimination in games (even if it's from the villain.)

I suppose they don't put a premium on any sort of (even semi) historical accurateness then, eh?

Doesn't seem like it. To be fair, Lawless Ones isn't a historical game, so it makes sense that sexism/racism/homophobia don't exist in that world. I am still planning on keeping themes like sexism/racism in Price of Freedom, since that's set in ancient Rome and... You know... Sexism and racism were all the rage back then. 

So wait. 
They're fine with slavery, abuse, death, and all of those other illegal scams and activities being included in a story. 
But not with a character staying in character by using the wrong pronouns?

Uhh... Yep, pretty much. 

That seems like a bit of value dissonance right there...

From what I've seen of the site one of the requirements for writers is that they have to be gung ho about gender representation, sexual orientation, and equal sex representation to a point.  Which of course I'm all fine for but they don't seem to allow any lee way for crappy characters.  

As you said, the values of that site is pretty weird lmao

I don't suppose it can be circumvented by writing about things that don't have a gender to begin with...? ;)

Then they'd probably complain that you're denying their existence if you leave gender out. I think it's one of the requirements for writers on that site to include all genders and not-genders. 

That's why CYS is great, you can have whatever freedoms you want in your story.  Anyone can write their character to be gay, straight, gender fluid, transgender, or none of the above and no one gives a shit lmao.

I just feel that if you try to please EVERYONE you end up pleasing no one.  I mean, I can respect trying to expose more types of people to the world of literature, but it feels like they're going to extremes.  I'm not fond of extremes.

Yeah, I definitely find that. I tried to be as inclusive as I could with this game, adding options to be transgender or non-binary, but I did actually get complaints from people that my extremely respectful and inclusive options weren't respectful and inclusive enough. A couple of people suggested that instead of saying. "I don't identify as male or female" for the non-binary option, I should instead say "I am neither male nor female", because apparently, saying "I identify as" implies that it's not actually true.

I stood firm and kept the choices as they are, though. I really didn't want to go with the whole "I am not male or female" thing, since a lot of people have no idea what non-binary actually is, and saying "I am neither male nor female" would probably just make people think that the character was an alien, or a robot or something. 

Lol. You've got a lot of patience. At that point I would have just put this as the first choice:

Hey look gang, a story that lets you choose your gender!

Quick, unzip your pants or lift up your dress to check what parts you were born with because it might even make a difference in how the story unfolds!

Male

Female

Mentally Ill

And then just sit back and watch how long it takes to get perma-banned. 

Actually, isn't GENDER all about identity, while as sex is what you were born with/your DNA code?

Yeah, but the game doesn't specify whether you're talking about sex or gender.

Actually, as far as gender goes, the only rule for CoG games is that you have to have an option to be male and an option to be female. Transgender/Non-binary options aren't a must-have, but they are considered a bonus.

I like it.  Just crossing my fingers that the coding stays together by the time you feel like putting out another demo or finishing the entire story.

Oh, the story is finished. Just sharing the demo to see what people think of it. The game is 15 chapters all together. ^_^