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Hey all,

I am attempting to write a zombie survival story and maybe get a few ideas or critiques on my intro. As of this very moment the intro is very story oriented. Game changing choices are not available but will be as it progresses.

I will be writing this over the coming weeks but here is a unpolished intro.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/viewer/default.aspx?StoryId=20639

Actually, the intro is strangely well.

It sure isn't Endmaster's book of details, but it is a really decent intro.

To anyone that wishes to have a look at the first chapter of my zombie adventure please check it out here.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/among-the-dead-~2d-chapter-1

This is my first attempt at a choose your own story so feel free to message me with any constructive criticism or comment for the same. Thanks!

Wow, really not bad ^_^

However, I'd note that there's a good deal of punctuation errors, and not as much choices that should be in a CYOA. Never been a fan of making separate chapters, I think a game like this should just be long and in one shot, rather than several different story games.

Right on, thanks for reading it.

I would like to make a few notes... first being that I wrote most of this during nightshift so I will soon locate and slaughter those grammatical errors. :)

Also I put out Chapter 1 as a single because I would like some feedback. I am aware that there are many, many Zombie adventures on here so if it wasn't well received initially I would re-vamp/scrap it.

That was quite the intro but like Tan; I recommend that you make the story one big story instead of several chapter stories.

I also think you should make some death choices last longer even if they lead to death but you had some description and didn't just leave it as "BAM, your dead!" for a death page. Grammar needs to be fixed though.

Overall good job so far. Keep up the good work.

Pretty damn good, besides the punctuation and minor grammar issues...

But I want even MORE different ways for this to go.

More ways how?

Keep the brothers?

Keep one brother?

Follow Liz? Ooooo I like that haha.

Or punt Liz out first thing in the morn to make a good point about allowing rapture-lovers into your house.

:D

Glad to see more meat on it this time!   :)

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Hey all,

Thanks for your reading the first chapter! I will now be un-publishing it and continuing the rest of this story. I look forward to bringing some more when it is available.