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Rust is an awesome survival game where you start out with literally nothing but a rock. And I mean NOTHING, you don't start out with hair or clothes or anything, you just have a rock and heavily censored genitalia. You start out by smashing branches off trees and crushing rocks and pre-existing wood piles into pieces that fit into your backpack, you get metal and sulfur from these rocks, with which you can make some thing or another. You can also voice chat.

So trying it with my friend, I had spent my first two hours in the game running, hiding, and gathering up supplies to build a bolt-action rifle, because there were guys out there building entire towns and they killed anyone who approached the walls. I planned on building a peaceful civilization somewhere far away, but the best way out was the road, which was guarded by a highwayman. So there I was swinging a hatchet at every rock and tree in sight, and driving it into pig and deer kidneys until I had enough leather, wood, and metal to build it. I also recieved lots of boneless chicken breast from the animals. I showed it to no one, not even my buddy. One day, I told my friend to hide behind a rock while I "parlayed with the highwayman to let us through". I turned on my voice chat, and walked up to him.

HWYman: Hey, stop! Stop right there, or I'll kill you.

Me: Oh, o-okay bro, take it easy, take it easy, I'm stoppin' you see me, man? I'm stoppin' right here now, see? I'm not going any-

HWYman: Shut the fuck up and drop your gear.

Me: Dude... I'm fucking naked!

HWYman: Give me your hatchet then.

Me: Alright... *drops it*

HWYman: Good, give me all your wood.

Me:  Is that really something you should say to a strange naked man in the wilderness?

The Highwayman's few scraps of human emotion and good humor revealed itself at this point, and he gave me some pants.

HWYman: Put these on, and then drop the wood.

I did.

Me: Welp, that's all of it. Pleasure doing business with you.

HWYman: Yeah, it was nice, now GTFO.

Me: Okay, man, it's cool, I'll just walk over here and *equips rifle* SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!

I shot the highwayman dead and looted all the wonderful shit he stole from the newbies that tried passing through before. I gave my friend the Highwayman's clothes, because nudity is for plebes, and gave him the Highwayman's revolver. I kept all of the marvelous, succulent chicken breast that the Highwayman had been carrying for myself, and we proceeded to head far, far away and build a marvelous house where nobody bothered us. Another robber even set up shop a few miles from there, oblivious to the fact that he could break our doors! Then we collectively murdered him by drawing a red bear over to him.

TUNA BANDITS!

I HATE it when people steal my tuna! It's an act of evil that I daresay surpasses the sheer communistic bastardry of strawberry pudding!

All hail thy holy tuna! :D

Now THAT's the kind of food that's WORTHY of being eaten with a spork!

Tuna Worth: 12.5 Universal Currency
Spork Worth: 11.7 Universal Currency

Strawberry Pudding Worth: 42.5 Universal Currency


So yes, you're right. Tuna is a worthy food to be eaten with a spork. :)

Your universal currency calculations are off by several billions. The Spork is worth a helluva lot more than the strawberry pudding, and even so, the pudding is highly corrupt, and inflated its nearby economies to achieve such a horrendously high price. Pudding is worth nothing more than the dirt upon this earth.

The rest of the universe disagrees :P

That's just what the pudding wants you to think.

Maybe that's what the spork just wants you to think.

The sporks don't have mental-manipulating properties.

You're being controlled like all the other pudding zombies. How sad.

"The sporks don't have mental-manipulating properties." could just be what the sporks want you to think.

Even if the pudding has mind control properties there's no way I can prove that. Same with sporks, you can't prove that they aren't controlling your brain. :3

Well, there's one way to know... you have to surrender from the sporks and give in to the pudding.

Nope, I've had specific scientific experiments. They don't even have proper brains to work with. The pudding itself, on the other hand, is nothing but evil brain muck.

I like to find naked players, tell them about all my chickens and wood I would give them, and then I kill them, if I'm not on a government watch list, somebody isn't doing their job!

Being that you're only tempting and murdering strange naked people, and not doing anything drastic to the corpses, I think you'd only be considered a dick by most naked players.

Hah, "only".

Where can I play this?

It's 19.00 on steam. I played on my friend's PC.

Do you need a headset to play this game?

Have you ever had to play a game where you needed a headset :l

Well sort of. The headset was optional but I've never played one where it is mandatory. I just know that having a microphone makes communication much easier.

It just makes communication easier. It's better to type because people assume you're a noob or a simpleton and don't rob you as much.

Sounds like that game would be full of bullies robbing you constantly so you never leave square one, but I don't know, is it an exception to the general rule?

It contains some bullies, yeah, but the maps are often so big that you can avoid them, unless you're in a bottle-necked area with no where else to go other than a wolves' den like we were in the above story. There are modded servers without PVP though, I believe.