Forums » Writing Workshop » Read Thread

    Hi there. I finally made my first game! I would greatly appreciate it, if you where to read it and critique me on it. It is called The Clash: prologue. Thanks in advance!

That was a nice game.

EDIT: Bonjour!  Je m'appelles Boringfirelion.  Tu aimes les hamburgers ou la glace?  J'aime mieux la glace!  Au revoir!

I don't think you should say you made your first game. I don't think that was a game. It was two to three choices to the end, and I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I agree with Deaths comment. If only his/her iPad wasn't playing up so they could have given a more detailed comment. But you had good spelling, which is much better than some things here nowadays.

Also, I prefer hamburgers.

Ah... a hamburger fan...

You ARE a hypocrite... 

I cried, because she likes hamburgers...    It was how she said it...

Of course I like hamburgers. What is the matter with you? Can't stand to see the cooked meat of your most treasured pet being eaten in a bun with relish?

Look who's talking.

Indeed. Nobody is talking. We are writing. ;P  

Anyways, I say this because she said she was a hypocrite on her profile .

Of course. Being a hypocrite is one of the best ways to annoy and infuriate people. Why would I miss that?

Thanks for the input! The main complaint with the story was length. I did not want to publish a huge story and it not get well received. I was not sure of my writing ability. But since people did seem to like what was there, I will make a new one that will be much, much longer and more branching. Thanks again. See ya when I finish the next one!

I'm sure it will be much better and more improved. Unless it isn't. Then forget I ever said anything.

Nobody Cares.

About what?

About coins.

Fuck you, Mr. Cat.

Nice one.

He's not a cat, he's a floating hand offering you a cat. Captain (Not so)Obvious strikes again.

Who was that one girl who was always telling Killa "Shush Catface!"

Lol. I'll become the woman saying to coins, "Shush, coins!"