Hello there Blue wolf! It appears you took my advice and decided to post on the forums
You want advice on how to make a good story game? That's easy. Here are 2 steps you must follow.
Step 1: Do not rush
I'm serious. Do not rush your storygane. Those never ever end well. If you're excited to display your work then either open it on sneak preview or post about it on the writing workshop
Step 2: Don't publish parts of your story or Demos
Don't you dare do this... Posting demos are usually bad for this site. They don't help whatsoever and so on. They are usually low quality and it's better to have a complete story than a complete demo
Other info is found in the Help and Info section of this site