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It's a writing site for ******* sake, surely stories with plots, named characters and properly presented dialogue is not asking for much, it should be the minimum standard rather than something fan-fic writers, WC fans and the guy who likes Spiderman hope to be able to do one day :D - Will11

Having a comment featured (2 points)

Recommending a comment for featuring (1 point)
Recommending a user's excellent aid in the last six months for points (1 point)
Recommending a tag change for a storygame (1 point)
Recommending a storygame for movement to a different category (1 point)
Recommending a storygame for a change in maturity level or difficulty level (1 point for each)
Recommending a storygame for featuring (1 point)
Recommending a storygame for unpublishing (1 point)
Recommending a comment for deletion (1 point)

So, in other words, if you go, right now, and find 5 storygames which are not properly tagged (there are literally dozens of these out there), then you'll get 5 points.

Catch #1:  To get points for recommending something, I have to agree with you. If you recommend a story for featuring and I don't feature it, then you don't get the points. This is to prevent people from gaming the system. Don't worry, for most of the above recommendations, you won't get rejected often if you follow proper procedure. (Except maybe on the "recommending for featuring.")

Catch #2:  Newly Created Storygames are not eligible point earners.  The original intent of this post was to find things we mods/admins had missed in older games. There is no point in spending our time removing comments, featuring comments, adding/removing tags, changing categories and maturity levels on a storygame that's going to be unpublished a week from now. Not to mention, we will almost always notice issues with newly created games without needing to be notified. 

Recommending a comment for featuring:

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the storygame
- The comment that you think deserves featuring (copy and paste it)
- The username of the person who wrote the comment (doesn't have to be the exact username, just enough so I understand who it is)
- If there are already 3 featured comments on the storygame, you also have to let me know whose comment you think should be replaced.
- If I agree, you will get 1 point and the person whose comment is featured will get 2 points. If you are reccomending your own comment, then you only get 2 points.

Note: No points are awarded for recommending/featuring comments on games that are soon to be unpublished.  It's a waste of time on a story that's going to be removed anyway.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the storygame
- The comment that you think deserves deletion (copy and paste it)
- The username of the person who wrote the comment (doesn't have to be the exact username, just enough so I understand who it is)

It has to either have spammy punctuation, flame the author, be completely incomprehensible, be a duplicate comment, or not actually be a comment (such as "..." or "poop" or something).  

Note: Do not recommend comments on Endmaster, madglee, or Tanstaafl's games for deletion unless they are spammy or deformed. Basically, they like to read their flamers so don't rob them of that.  
No points are awarded for recommending comments for deletion on games that are soon to be unpublished.  It's a waste of time on a story that's being cleared out anyway.

Recommending a user's aid in the advanced editor (post must be made in the last 6 months)

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- The user who provided the aid
- A hyperlink to the post where he provided the aid

Recommending a tag change for a storygame

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the storygame
- All of the tags you believe the story should have

Recommending a category change for a storygame

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the storygame
- The category you believe it should be in
- A short explanation of why

Recommending a change in maturity or difficulty level for a storygame

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the storygame
- The change you think should be made
- A short explanation of why

Recommending a storygame for featuring

Recommending a forum thread for deletion

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the thread
- A short rationale for why

Recommending a storygame for unpublishing

Reply to THIS thread to THIS post with:
- A hyperlink to the storygame
- A short explanation of why [specifically, you must describe how it fails to meet minimum site standards]

• • After receiving at least 7 ratings and being published for at least 1 week, the storygame is rated 1/8
  • After receiving at least 7 ratings and being published for at least 1 week, the storygame is rated 2/8 and its length is 1/8
  • The storygame has all of the following characteristics:
    • Grammar and style poor enough that it cannot be ignored
    • A plot which is poor or nonexistent
    • Poor pacing (usually characterized by frequent and unpredictable end game links)
    • A lack of important decisions
    • Unbelievable or overly cliched dialogue (if dialogue is present in the story)
  • The storygame has "dead" pages- pages with no links or way to proceed.
  • The storygame's central concept is pornographic in nature
  • The storygame is not a storygame and is instead intended to fulfill a goal such as communicating with another member (including all inside jokes) or advertising a product.
  • The storygame is explicitly described by the author as a "troll" game, or intentionally poor quality.
  • Any unfinished story rated 4 or less which has been published for over six months.

    • What qualifies a story as "unfinished?"

      1. Specifically stating in the description/text of the game that it is a "demo."

      2. Ending abruptly with a notice that it will be continued later.

      Games that say they are the first in a series are not automatically considered "unfinished." As long as the game itself is complete, even if the author never returned to write a sequel, it is not up for unpublishing.

       

If you don't follow protocol, either there will be no negative repercussions, you will be ignored, or I'll take your advice and not reward you with points. Following protocol expedites the process for me so I don't have to spend a lot of time making changes.

To summarize: post here (for the most part) with recommendations for who I should reward / what I should change and I'll reward you with points. Take a second to check the posts above you and see if someone else has already made the recommendation. Remember, newly created Storygames are not eligible for tag/category/comment points.

Please notice the new addition to the rules. You will no longer recieve points for DmA regarding Newly Created Storygames. 

The intent of the original was for us to clean up the site through members drawing our attention to problems that slipped past our notice, or reward-worthy things we may have missed.    

Nearly all the DmA of the last two threads has been regarding just-published games. (Most of it comment deleting and tag or category changing for stories that are slated for unpublishing anyway.)

We don't need our attention drawn to newly created games.  As long as there are a couple of relatively active mods for the site, new games will be taken care of.

Reposting from the other thread. (sorry, I really thought I was in the Lounge at the time, got mixed up with too many windows open...)

Because I might as well beat everyone else to it:

Recommending a story for featuring: Hunting the Ripper

Will has really done his research with this one and the writing is great.

I'm debating whether to keep it Mystery/Puzzle or move to Edutainment.

Either way, which game would you like to see it replace?

Let's discuss this in the parlor room in the thread for his game.

I'm glad you guys like the Ripper story, reading over it I personally think it is more Puzzle than Edutainment because while it's based on real life events but my intention in writing the story is for the reader to "solve" the mystery rather than learn about it, I want to branch out into murder mysteries and puzzles a bit more and it's easier to start off by using a real-life case where the killer was never caught. Your definition of puzzle in the article you wrote on story game genres in the Help and Info section is "Stories with a strong puzzle-solving element, or an overall plot of solving a mystery" which I think sums up the Ripper story quite well :)

Recommending A Storygame for Featuring: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/hunting-the-ripper Hunting the Ripper.

A great puzzle game, and he definitely did his homework. Amazing style of writing, long and worth a read. And with the lack of great storygames in mystery/puzzle, I think this would be a nice addition.

Literally directly above your post is mizal's 9-hours-ago post recommending the same thing.

I didn't even see that, I didn't even scroll down to click reply.

Oh, well. Feature it.

From experience, the amount of work it takes to run threads like these is not insignificant, so please take the effort to make sure you're not repeating submissions.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

-
-- Aconc on 5/13/2015 8:35:33 AM with a score of 7

Storygame: Haunted

Username of Creator: Aconc

Reason: The comment has nothing to do on rating the storygame, discussing the storygame, or really anything in general. It's just one hyphen, nothing else.

done

Recommending a comment for featuring:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-wolf's-survival

Although I was partially enjoying this storygame, it needs some improvement. 
First things first, the grammar and spelling's alright. I didn't see major mistakes- all could be overlooked. 
The plot was very vague, even for an animal simulator. This was it: struggle to get milk as a newborn pup (PUP, not cub), learn the rules of going outside as an older pup, walk around in search for territory, and find a pack member (I chose this path because dispersal wolves rarely stay in their birth pack after becoming an adult). After that, the game ended. There's more to a wolf's life than this. What about learning to hunt and fight as an adolescent wolf? What about raising a family with my mate (I wouldn't call her a pack member because wolves don't allow random loners in their packs unless they are in their family or the possible mate of a wolf). What about defending your pack from hunters and enemy packs? What about struggling to survive as an elderly wolf? There's plenty more that could greatly lengthen this storygame. 
However, one of the good things about this storygame is the customization of your wolf. I'm glad that you decided one of two options for a protagonist: creating the protagonist (your choice) or playing as an already-created protagonist. There are also more choices for a game with a length of 2/8 (a 2/8 is not enough in my opinion). 
I'll give The Wolf's Survival a 3/8 for now. It's not great, but it's not so bad that it should be unpublished in a week's time.

-- DerpBacon on 5/23/2015 10:38:48 PM

Recommending a change of category:

The Aeneid

This story, currently in Fantasy Adventure, probably belongs in Edutainment. There are a considerable number of story-games about folklore and epic poems in that category.

On another note: I notice that you made those five category changes I recommended, but I haven't received any points for them.

I think mizal recommended them first, just in the wrong thread.

Do you know what thread she posted them in? I can not find any recommended changes of category by mizal in A New Beginning or Rise of Carnage.

If she posted it a "Draw my Attention" thread older than that, and you didn't remember to make the changes until you saw my recommendations (which, based on the timing of the changes, seems to be the case) then I honestly feel that I deserve the points.

If she didn't make the recommendations in a "draw my attention" thread, then I had no reason to know that she made the recommendations before I did, and, as I was the first person to make the recommendations following your protocol and the recommendations were made prior to the changes, I feel that I should get the points.

If it makes you feel any better I don't think I got any points either.

Recommending a category change for a storygame:

Do you Know the Classics?

Everything Else

Pretty much every other quiz goes there. This quiz is certainly not school based either.

Please read the latest addendum to the guidelines.  Newly created games are not eligible for category changes, tag changes, or pretty much anything except feature recommending.

Again:

1) I'm no longer wasting my limited editing time on making cosmetic changes to stories that are likely going to be unpublished.

2) The mods are going to look at the newly created storygames anyway; we don't need assistance noticing problems with them.   

Just double checking, you only want recommendations for stories that are at least a few weeks or so old except recommending for featuring? If so I think that's a good idea :)

Yes, that's correct. 

Like I said, the original intent of these these threads was 

1) to,draw our attention to issues/stories that got past our notice when they were originally published, or had new categories/tags created since they were published.

2) instead of messaging a specific mod, you could just post it in the thread, and no matter which of us saw it first, we could take care of it.

Recommending for recategorization: http://chooseyourstory.com/story/wild-cat

This one's a few years old but it's a Warriors fic masquerading as a modern adventure. No actual clans present but cats pick herbs to heal themselves and all have WC style names so it's the same setting. And I think it would be a good influence on the others. 

I'm inclined not to insult it that way, by throwing it in with the WC shitbasket.

I say it should stay where it is, but some other Admin or Mod can do what they want with it.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warriors~3a-hollyleaf's-choice

It is a good start, the writing flowed well though the plot needs developing and one day I hope to see something titled "Warrior Cats: A Completed Story" :) Maybe if we mashed the 50 or so WC story-games out there together we might get a developed story of 50 or so pages with a beginning, middle and end, character development and a discernable plot arc... 
This was a good addition to the genre though and hopefully you'll both write more

By Will11

Reason: Duplicate comment. It was repeated.

Done

In my search for points I’ve browsed through the School section and spotted some changes that could be made:

Recommending a comment for featuring

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-secret-of-the-mysterious-door

Actually, I don't think you could fall so fast the flesh was torn from your bones. You'd reach terminal velocity at only about 122 mph, which is only slightly higher than the average dive speed of a peregrine falcon.
The abbreviated style works well in the description, but I agree with Kiel. This story would have been even better if you'd gone into more detail- not just about the death scenes, but in general.

Sethaniel on 1/14/2015 3:23:45 PM

Reason: I remember someone listed this as one of the most clever comments on a story game he’d ever read and also it’s the most detailed feedback this story has received.

Recommending a comment for deletion

1

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/get-your-crush~21

This so bad I pooped on my kindle and threw it into the toliet then I told my friends to make fun of you too bad so sad.

-- blab on 5/1/2015 8:09:06 PM

Reason: I’m not sure this would be considered helpful feedback.

2

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/in-school-suspension

f

-- Angel_Dawn_Griffith on 1/14/2015 6:26:05 PM

Reason: This comment is just a letter (maybe Angel is rating the story an F?)

3

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/my-unusual-day

Shit

-- Andy on 4/1/2015 5:56:24 PM

Reason: Pointless profanity

4

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/schooled-for-life

das game is no good i cat onerstan anythung mi mum cat to

-- Kong-Shua on 5/25/2015 1:21:39 PM with a score of 50

Reason: I can’t understand what this admirer of literature is trying to convey.

5

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-day

cray cray wich means crazy for all you dorks im popular im a blonde I have blue eyes and I have the IPhone 6plus im rich I have a boyfriend

-- emily on 11/27/2014 3:29:25 PM

Reason: It’s nice of Emily to share these things with us but they don’t have anything to do with the story.

Recommending a storygame for movement to a different category

1

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/action-research

I think this story should be moved from School to Everything Else.

Reason: This very boring story is about a head of an education-software development company conducting research to develop their software by employing marketing tactics… it’s not really set in a school.

2

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/home-economics-quest

I think this story should be moved from School to Everything Else.

Reason: The whole story is about planning a dinner for a friend’s birthday party. The only reference to a School is the opening line “you are walking home from school one day”.

3

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/make-the-right-choice

I think this story should be moved from School to Everything Else.

Reason: To quote the author’s description “This is a healthy decision game, and if you fail to choose the right one you could die, But no pressure…”. Schools are not mentioned in it at all.

Browsed Love and Dating as well…

Recommending a comment for featuring

1

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-light-within-a-darkness

... I hate to critique someone's life story, I -really- do, but this is not well written. It has some grammar and spelling errors littered throughout. It's also awkwardly put together, like you weren't really paying attention to the contents of the story when you connected them. For instance, when I backed away from the ledge, the next link implied that my character was still trying to kill herself.
When I stayed silent and waited to tell the teacher, the next page was: "You made sure that everyone was out before you walked to your teacher. "She's lying." You repeated, crying.
"Please no more lies, before I add more to your detentions. Tears wouldn't help." He repeminded you. "
What detentions? What did "she" lie about? Who is "she"? What lies did I tell? ("repeminded" would be one of the errors I was referring to, by the way.) What the hell are you on about, woman? Just because this is your story and you understand it in full context does not mean the reader will. You have to show us what's going on or it makes no sense.
Also, I really hate to be "this guy" ... but, are you serious? This is based on a true story? What kind of retarded high-schooler actually uses "booger" as an insult and why in gods name did that bother you? How thin-skinned do you have to be to cry over a third grade insult when you're seventeen? Yeah, turning the light off in the bathroom was rude, but when I was seventeen, I put up with -real- assholes, not this cutesy crap. I cannot fathom why you'd actually consider killing yourself over something so ridiculous.
Not to mention, 14 years? So people bullied you since you were ... 3? Uh huh. Two things. One, -why-? There's nothing to make fun of when you're three. You all pick your noses and have bathroom accidents and say stupid shit and absolutely nobody cares because you're THREE. Two, how is that even relevant now? You honestly still care? Really? I can't even remember anyone I knew when I was three outside of my family.
Listen, I'm not trying to be mean here. If this is a true story, then I'm genuinely sorry you feel like you had a shitty childhood, and yeah, being bullied sucks a lot, but it's ... hard to sympathize with this or take it seriously.
Trust me, childish insults and spreading rumors are only things a really stupid or really weak bully does.
Unless you've been beaten up badly or had someone pull your underwear down (or, since you're a girl, shirt and bra up) in front of someone you had a crush on to humiliate you, you actually got off pretty easy, and it can get worse than just that. Much, much worse. My advice is to use the spell-checker, work on your grammar, and you may want to stick to fiction in the future, hun.

-- Kiel_Farren on 7/19/2014 11:06:01 AM with a score of 0

Reason: Detailed and useful feedback Kiel_Farren style.

2

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/atari-chronicles~3a-the-girl-(book-one)

The plot was "meh"-ish, but I can say I did enjoy the writing. The first several pages picked me up, and I can see you did manage to set the exposition. However, it failed, since you ended this work way too quickly.
I have to ask you a question; why? Why did you end this just as it opened up to the reader? Go to the library and pick a novel. Will you find any that end before they even tell you anything about the story?
Of course not. Books are not meant to be written like that.
I'm not exaggerating when I say I learned nothing about this plot. I know it could be some dystopia, or post-apocalyptic, but that's just inferences based on some small details.
I did notice some grammatical errors in the writing, but nothing too distracting... except for, of course, you didn't make a paragraph when a new speaker... well, spoke.
Keep in mind this was explictely told to you, by multiple people in the comments section, including me. By not taking our advice grammar-wise, that kind of just means to the common critique-giver (like me, again) that you aren't up to following the site's criteria.
On paragraph breaks -
http://www.writingclasses.com/WritersResources/AskTheWriterDetail.php?ID=235
http://www.writersdigest.com/tip-of-the-day/write-like-a-pro-master-the-rules-of-dialogue-in-writing
http://www.writersdigest.com/tip-of-the-day/write-like-a-pro-master-the-rules-of-dialogue-in-writing

Like your last one, I have decided you should probably, instead of working on a second one, polish this up first. It's not fit, in my eyes, to act alone.
Some general rules to follow in your next attempt:
-Learn when to start a paragraph
-Proofread
-Learn how to implement plotline effectively in story
-Polish writing
3/8.

-- FazzTheMan on 12/14/2014 6:21:42 PM

Reason: Detailed and useful feedback.

3

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/cold-hands

It felt a bit like two stories that were not connected, the first was a school-based one with no clear direction while the second was a typical tragic love story. I think my favourite line was "that night unspeakable things happened" which is great for the imagination. What went down? A mute's convention? A mime's audition? A sleeping lions competition? :) It reminded of Gone with the Wind where the hero carries his wife upstairs and the camera fades to black... in a romance story don't be afraid to dwell a little on the physical side of the romance as well as the emotional as readers love that kind of thing :) Overall ok written but needs more consistency.

-- Will11 on 2/6/2015 11:58:51 PM

Reason: I think this is both funny and useful.

4

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/petra's-choices

The idea of your story is good and it has much potential, but it is a shame that your story itself feels... lacking. The general events, etc. are good and well thought through, in my opinion, but the lack of real descriptive text (like a description of surroundings, motivations or persons) makes it hard for the reader to really engage with your story.
Furthermore, because there is not much text on each page, the pacing of the story seems very fast. In less than five minutes of read-time you jump from waking up through different short scenes to an end-game-screen.
Like I said before I really like the idea of your story and if you'd manage to flesh it out some more by, for example, writing some more text on the pages or adding some more pages in general, I'm sure that it would rank into the higher scores of its category. Unfortunately, at the moment I've rated it a 4/8, because of the things listed above.

-- Romulus on 8/4/2014 9:52:42 AM

Reason: Good constructive feedback

5

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-make~2dbelieve-sandbox

I'm really impressed with this game.
There are certain times when, in a storygame, I simply cannot find any errors, and the ones I do are very, very minor. This is one of those times.
By the end of the storygame, I had a heavy heart and played through the other endings, just to see what I could get.
The only thing I would point out as technically "bad" is the cliche plot of it. The memories, then death, like Snow, and a lot of other Romance/Dating games I can't remember. I feel as though this has been done to death, and it would be interesting to see a change.
The meaning and plot were powerful in this game, and I recommend it heavily.
5/8.

-- FazzTheMan on 10/14/2014 12:00:59 AM with a score of 7

Reason: Good constructive feedback.

Recommending a comment for deletion

1
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/~2e~2e~2ein-love-and-war

Better than everything created and not created and that will never createdddddddd!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-- Lily on 3/31/2015 8:52:49 PM

Reason: This comment has been posted twice making it duplicated. Either one or both could be deleted as the story is apparently so good it has caused this reviewer to lose all control of their keyboard.

2

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/college-romance

Hi

-- Lily on 3/31/2015 5:23:14 PM

Reason: Unless this is code it looks very much like Lily is greeting rather than commenting.

Recommending a storygame for movement to a different category

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/simon's-day

I’d suggest moving this from Love and Dating to Everything Else.

Reason: There is no love and dating in it. The male character has two brief conversations with females at different points but mostly the story is a random and apparently humorous description of doing different things.

Recommending a storygame for unpublishing

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/marterd-no-harem-vi~2d2

Reason: This is an attempt at random humor that stands out as especially stupid in a stupid genre. The spelling is poor in places (like the title), the plot is non-existent and all 8 people who have reviewed it hate it.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/nightfall-in-cincinnati

This is a difficult call. It’s a massive troll story that teeters on the edge of racism and sexism but while half the readers hate it the other half think it is funny. I’m not sure which side of the line this story falls under, personally I think it should be deleted but it's your call. It also came with these great comments, almost certainly posted by the author:

Its really a hartwarning story and if you dont get what the author is trying to get you to relize your dense or huh my mum read this to me everynighy for 17 years so i guess im being a little dubiased

-- ivebeenhereforawhile on 11/23/2014 7:31:26 PM

C. ReA .TIVe jenius iLL be ReAdInG iT aNd ill LiKe tHe wAy it MmmaKes me fEel so If i hAd To PiCk ThE BeSt PArT Of ThIs GenEratIonS HANds DoWn BeSt StOry TelElEr iT woLd Be FoR sHirt For SHiRt ThAT

-- lemmieget5onpump#7 on 11/23/2014 7:26:12 PM

And Edutainment…

Recommending a comment for featuring

1
http://chooseyourstory.com/story/1912

You made a mistake. Mrs. Bennett and Mrs. Hale left the same exact cards, but only Bennett's answer was correct.
Admittedly, I'm not crazy about how you did this... making a single mistake on a "quiz" of information most people wouldn't readily know and being instantly penalized with a game-over isn't really fair.
You could just tell us what's wrong and let us move on, or you could tell us at the end of the game what the right answers are...
You see, an automatic game over for a wrong answer makes it a linear game, a harsh quiz, and a poor means of education. You're not actually educating us, you're expecting us to know the answer and if we don't, it's game over.
-That said-, as someone who loves collecting random information about history, I found this game pretty interesting. It's well made. My guesses were usually right, which was satisfying in its own way and I already knew a lot of the information without guessing, but having to backspace to get through the entirety of it was irritating.

-- Kiel_Farren on 11/16/2014 10:02:43 AM

Reason: Good Feedback.

2

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/phoenician-trade-game

For factual contact and an interactive learning experience I would rate this game very highly. For the general reader though there are no characters or plot as such so this would probably only be used as a learning tool. The spelling, grammar etc was all perfect and the item use was good but my personal preference is for something that's a bit personalised, perhaps the information about what countries use what material for what could be told to me by someone with a name and description or perhaps a plot could be thrown in (each country has a different problem i.e. Egypt is suffering from famine and I need to provide each country with the material that could help fix their problem?). Still I learned a lot so for a school project you should get top marks :D

-- Will11 on 12/10/2014 11:08:56 PM with a score of 0

Reason: Good Feedback.

3

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-new-world

The basic plot of this story had you "re-living" the Jamestown colony of 1607. This story was pretty mediocre, and had basic mistakes that other storygames with the brunt of low stars would have.
First of all, this story is very short, thereby very abrupt. Each page has only about 2-3 sentences and it seesm that the plot takes some jumps. For example, when you choose to attack the Indians/Native Americans, it tells you that "the white settlers sneak up on the Indians and attack them, The End." Seriously? Why end there? It could've been expanded so much! The story seems to follow two main plots: Love or Kill, and that also goes for the Indians. Because of the choices and the shortness, you know exactly which one will lead to Kill or Love when you get something like: "Do you wish to observe them or attack them?".
In order to expand out this story further, I would suggest you try re-writing, by adding more scenarios. For example, a great storm may come and you have to traverse back to the ship to get extra supplies... or something like that. You are the writer. You could also add historical refrences. For example, if there actually were huge storms, then did the Jamestown people go back to the ship for supplies? Or something.
This story was so short, it wasn't enjoyable and it hit you right when you were getting into the plot. The endings aren't even justifiable. Why would it end if you attack them? Or love them?
The writing was okay, but it was riddled with errors. As far as I could see, the words were spelled good, but other errors like punctuation were frequent.
This story should still improve the writing so it could become more superb. The first sentence just tells about the colony, and some hardships they faced. Funny that these hardships weren't even part of the story. It should be continued way more, and the writing can be perfected in many ways.
2/8. -- Fazz on 8/4/2014 5:03:26 PM

Reason: Good Feedback

Recommending a comment for deletion

1

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/are-you-happy-with-your-choices~3f

awseftgyuhijo

-- waerfghjk on 1/11/2015 12:23:47 PM

Reason: This person appears to have had a seizure at the keyboard.

2

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/christmas~2e

comment

-- liquidice on 1/7/2015 12:19:46 PM with a score of 60

Reason: This person hasn’t quite mastered the concept of comments yet.

I’ll stop now.

Just worked through Sci-Fi. I'll go through all the categories to see if I can spot anything but I'll hold on now to give you time to look through these things (Got through 4 categories now, 6 to go):

Recommending a comment for featuring

1

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/eyes-of-an-angle

It might have been the many broken links, my co-pilot's thick Australian accent or the re-rendering of the English language into unfamiliar words such as piolet for pilot but at no point in that story game did I have a clear idea of who I was, what I was doing or why, despite the many drawings which included one of a pink haired girl who, though she didn't clarify the situation any,was at least nice to look at. Not many authors illustrate their own stories so you get extra points for that but despite reading this for at least 15 minutes if anyone asked me what it was about all I could tell them would be "space" before launching into a detailed description about the pretty girl with pink hair :)

-- Will11 on 1/15/2015 11:54:22 PM with a score of 0

Reason: I think it’s humorous and constructive.

2

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/homo-perfectus

You, sir, have earned my respect for creating a game that is all at once suspenseful, funny, action-packed, and genuinely human without resorting to cheap tricks, shocking violence, or crude sensuality.
The pacing was balanced, and the content moved seamlessly from suspense to action to comedy to whatever else you've managed to fit in there. The story was excellent, relentlessly drawing me forward while allowing me legitimate alternative paths (as opposed to an obvious main path accompanied by stubby, shoddy dead ends). And the characters had real depth; I felt myself applying my own personality to Adam, wondering not what I might like him to do but rather what I myself would do! The first person perspective is a great choice for immersion.
I got stuck a few times trying to figure out which power to use, but the right choice always made the most sense in the end and was often ingeniously implemented.
Thank you for sharing your talent with us! I'm looking forward to continuing the saga...

-- WordSmith37 on 4/17/2015 8:34:43 PM with a score of 0

Reason: It’s good feedback on SindriV’s Homo Perfectus.

3

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-new-cadet~3a-a-sci~2dfi-adventure

Well ... ... what? >_> I'm not exactly a Trekkie, but what kind of fan tribute was this supposed to be? I told a guy my name, got cake thrown in my face, and got thrown out an airlock. Even the options that don't lead to me dying don't really ... go anywhere very interesting.
I helped a little kid get back to his mother. That's nice, but ... all I had to do was randomly choose his language, follow him around for a bit, and then rush him to a guy who -wouldn't- throw him in prison for ... breathing, I guess.
When I think Star Trek, I think battles and adventures and Kirk boning green women and Picard being bald and awesome. This story could've existed within literally any sci-fi fandom. Actually, I don't ... even feel like this really represented Sci-Fi all that well, because the genre distinction doesn't feel necessary.
An alien threw cake at me and I couldn't get mad about it or eat it, that was the extent of the 'alien culture' that I got from this. :P I didn't see much detailed technology or any science. I dunno, man.

-- Kiel_Farren on 4/17/2015 11:40:02 AM

Reason: It’s good constructive feedback.

Recommending a comment for deletion

1

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a~2em~2ei~2ee~2e-(1~2e1)

wedsedwed

-- d32df945fh on 9/18/2014 12:54:59 AM with a score of 15

Reason: It doesn’t make any sense

2

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/all-because-of-a-breakfast-sandwich

When I was younger I was always told not to pick my nose. I constantly used to shove my finger up there when no one was looking, but every now and then I'd get caught. Now it's the same thing just with my butthole.

-- iqqih on 3/12/2015 6:50:20 PM

Reason: While it’s nice of iqqih to give us an insight into his love life I’m not sure what this has to do with the story-game.

3

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/crash-landing

Spreadin my cheeks.

-- CovElite on 6/8/2012 7:43:01 PM

Reason: I’m spotting a strange pattern among sci-fi story reviewers…

4

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/danger-at-the-mall

...

-- jelly on 7/17/2014 9:59:00 PM

Reason: It’s not a comment

5

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/paradise-violated

I frockin awsume holeh crup

-- CAPTAIN SKAT on 1/27/2015 5:50:05 PM

Reason: I’m not sure what Captain Skat is trying to tell us.

6

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/would-you-survive-an-alien-invasion~3f

...

-- Miacreepypasta on 9/18/2014 9:14:21 PM

Reason: It’s not a comment

Recommending a storygame for movement to a different category

1

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/french-revolution-prisons

I think this should be moved from the Sci-Fi to the Edutainment section.

Reason: It’s a school project about French Revolution prisons. The only sci-fi element is a briefly mentioned time machine at the beginning.

2

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/kaiju-domination~3a-episode-1~2d-godzilla

I think this should be moved from Sci-Fi to Fan Fiction.

Reason: It’s a story about Godzilla fighting different monsters like King Kong in Godzilla’s world. I’m pretty sure that’s fan-fiction.

Recommending a storygame for unpublishing

1

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/hercules-(sci-fi-story)

Reason: This story is about ten pages long and most of the pages don’t have any links at all.

2

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/alien-planet~3a-get-me-off-this-rock~21

Reason: This game has countless dead end links, insults the reader frequently and is eleven years old. On the plus side it contains pictures and the writing quality is ok… but the dead end links are very annoying.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/lon-lon's-melodies

Two suggestions here:

First Category Change from Sci-Fi to Fantasy as this story is about using instruments with magical powers to avenge your father’s murder. Second I recommend this comment for featuring as it’s good feedback:

This is a great concept and I actually felt a bit excited when I initially started reading. It kind of reminds me of Loom in a weird way, and I liked Loom for the concept, even though the story itself lacked. Unfortunately, the execution here also leaves a lot to be desired.
I like the instruments, I like the powers, I liked how the trumpet had a double edged power ... but the story was short, a bit cliché, lacked in detail over-all, and you weren't consistent. I picked the trumpet, but you gave me the option of using the ocarina.
You also gave me the powers of life and death with the trumpet, but my father died and even though "alive and dead are just titles to me" you gave me no option but to either accept his death and go home or get revenge.
I mean ... what? You need to either be clearer on the rules of your world or you need to STICK to the rules of your world.
Do keep trying, though. I think you have the makings of something really good here, -really- good, but it needs a lot of work.

-- Kiel_Farren on 1/29/2015 7:17:44 PM

I like your interpretations. :D

I was going on the Seth-sanctioned definition for deletion "It has to either have spammy punctuation, flame the author, be completely incomprehensible, be a duplicate comment, or not actually be a comment (such as "..." or "poop" or something)". I could rephrase your question and ask what is communication? Are animals capable of communicating their thoughts for instance? I often look at some of the stories or comments posted on this website and wonder if a member of the animal kingdom is trying to reach out to us, then I reflect animals have reasons for their actions while mankind is the only species that is capable of self-awareness and in many cases choose to do pointless things simply to fill their time because they lack the creativity or possibly the social skills to do anything better than spend three hours making a totally awful story to inflict on me, raping my eyes and stealing my time :)

Of course I may be wrong and these people may be undiscovered geniuses but based on the available evidence it seems unlikely.

What? Your daily points?

You want your review to be featured, right? It was all right but I am recommending a deletion of your double review post.

Recently published game.  No points for clean-up recommendations on those.

Recommending a comment for featuring

The Donner Party (http://chooseyourstory.com/story/the-donner-party)

I keep telling myself I need to read more of the featured stories here, so I started with this one.

The Donner Party really is one of those morbidly fascinating little snippets of history and so it was a good choice to base a story on it. Though the writing style was a little dry--not helped by the problem with this kind of historical story, being that since it so closely follows actual events you know going in that nothing you choose is going to change anything, which is a big part of the appeal of a CYOA in the first place. (I've actually considered writing a 'game' about the Legion Valley Massacre because Matilda Friend has always been an inspirational figure for me, but ran into the same issue...)

So instead my character got to tag along with various real life people and take a completely hands off approach just observing a straight reenactment of events. Which to be fair, are interesting enough in their own right.

I ran into a couple issues with how some of the links looped (PMed you about the biggest one where the char somehow teleported from California to Nevada), but there were a couple of other minor issues, like the game assuming my character had been with party and resorted to cannibalism when in fact, the first time through I sat out pretty much the entire thing chilling at Sutter's Fort.

But all in all this was well worth a read, especially considering the scarcity of decent historical writing on this site.
-- mizal on 5/20/2015 5:40:41 PM

This storygame has no other featured comments.

Recommended comment for deletion:

poopoopoopoopoopoopoopoopoopoop i got to the maze and ate the apple and died lololololololololololol i thought it would cure ebola girl's ebolahahahahaha

-- swagmaninavan on 5/29/2015 5:57:35 AM with a score of 2000

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/a-game-of-life-and-death

Reason: Is this spammy enough? ... >_> Please? 

Just a little thing, I'd recommend this story game for deleting:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/why~3a-the-tale-of-an-abomination-made-by-a-then-sixth-grade-furry-with-stupid-hair-and-bad-ideas

The first page has no links forward and the author asks why people even want to read wolf sims which is a reasonable question. Judging by that author's latest story game I think he or she has mentally exploded and not in a good way...

I don't know why Pikachu wanted to fuck with his/her game. It had a reasonable rating, why completely screw it up?

I mean, the game was fine for an animal simulator. I want to know what the fuck happened in Pikachu's mind. Is there some bullying shit happening to him/her?

Something to that effect, I'd guess. Possibly in real life.

Based on how bullshitty some people act in school these days, I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case.

Indeed.

I see this was finally awarded.

Recommending story for unpublishing: Gay lovin' John Wayne Gacy, For Realz...

Reason: Multiple dead pages and no way to end the storygame. Also, I'm fairly sure this is a troll game.

Okay, it's unpublished.  Multiple people messaged me about it also.  All of you, I'll get you your point soon. (Just started a new job, it's a bit hectic.) 

Pont awarded~

Recommending a category change for a storygame: Goldenheart's life as a warrior cat

Change to: Fan Fiction

Reason: A warrior cat is from a book series. This would technically be plagiarism, as it is "stealing" the concept of warrior cats, because it is not marked as a Fan Fiction story.

Done.

Recommending comment for deletion:

noneofyourbusiness
-- HELLO on 5/29/2015 4:15:31 AM

On story chooseyourstory.com/story/ground-zero

Reason: Pretty obvious; it's just another pointless comment.

Check.

Recommending a comment for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/zeroes-and-ones

I am Watching you 


I am in your house

-- Nobody

Reason: I'm pretty sure that has nothing to do with the game.

Agreed.

Agreed, it was quite odd...

You stole my thunder noo

Recommending storygames for deletion

All Hail The King! (READ THE DESCRIPTION) [ http://chooseyourstory.com/story/all-hail-the-king~21-%28read-the-description%29 ]

After receiving over 7 ratings and being published for over 1 week, this storygame is rated 2/8 and its length is 1/8.

Can u get through [ http://chooseyourstory.com/story/can-u-get-through ]

It is stated by the author in the description that this game is "possibly pointless". It's also described by the author as a "terrible storygame" within the game itself. It falls under the requirement of being a storygame of intentional poor quality.

Unpublished the first one and PM'd user.

Too early on the second one (hasn't been a week yet).

@BerkaZerka

If the storygame is self-referenced as terrible, I think it would meet bullet point 7 of the minimum site standards and therefore qualify for unpublishing. Thoughts?

I agree.

It would lead me to hold it to higher standards in the other areas to weigh if it should be un-published or not.

For example, a 2 Rated Game with a 2 Length meets the minimum standard, but if the author comes right out and says, 'this game sucks' or the like, I'd lean toward un-publishing.

Yeah. I think that if an author publishes a story where he admits that it's bad, then it's deliberately bad and could be unpublished regardless of rating, though obviously common sense applies.

Can u get through [ http://chooseyourstory.com/story/can-u-get-through ] has been un-published for remaining Rated 1 with Length 1 for over a week.

Point awarded to 31TeV

If any of the above have not been addressed yet, please repost them below.

All else, continue posting below as well, thanks~

Recommending for a maturity change in a storygame

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/snow-love

The maturity rating is too high. It doesn't show blood and gore. It should be tuned down to 3/8 or 4/8.

Agreed, I didn't see anything more then a 'passionate kiss' - if I'm missing some secret porno scene, feel free to point it out though haha!

Nothing porno so far. And thanks.

Choose a door has been un-published for remaining a 2 rated game with only a 1 length~

multi player action has been un-published for remaining a 2 Rated game with a 1 Length for so long.

SPIDER-MAN:Rise of Carnage part 1  should be un-published for being a Rated 2 game with a 1 Length, but it's part 1 of 3 of an amazingly poor quality series, where the other 2 games do actually meet the rock-bottom standard.

Thoughts?

We enjoyed Kiel_Farren's hilarious reviews. I would prefer to keep it published just because of Kiel's review.

Well, if Berka decided to remove it, he should remove the other parts too.

Then BZ should remove the "part II" and "part III" on the title.

There would not be a reason to do so.

It's only saving grace is Kiel's review, and Kiel said the recent comments on stories were just messing around.  If the author wants to improve it, then by all means - (s)he should do so and then resubmit.  So, my vote is to scrap it!

This may be deliberate, but Kiel's comment on Spider-Man:Rise of carnage Part III New Goblin strikes back hasn't been featured yet. 

As for your actual question. I get the feeling there's a special place in everyone's heart for that story. I would suggest we simply archive Kiel's comment somewhere and then delete the story game, but Kiel's comment attains much of it's comedic value from reading the story game. I certainly see why you've chosen to ask the community about this even though it falls under the accepted parameters for deletion. If only we had a place for the collected curious, a museum of oddities.

This is the most comically bad story I've seen on the site. Someone, I think it was Sindriv, mentioned that it was like Tommy Wiseau's The Room. It is exactly like that. An inadvertent masterpiece of another kind...Okay, maybe that's going a little far. It is just a very shoddy story after all. Still, I would like to think people could still access this marvel of poor workmanship if they like. If it must go, then begone with it. Perhaps someone should save Kiel_Farren's comment somewhere first.

Agreed.

The Comment could be Featured, but not before waiting a week from publish, to see where the game lands standard-wise. If it is going to be un-published, there's no point in Featuring its Comments.

I say we save Kiel's review and then delete the game.

My vote is for unpublishing all three. Sequels will have higher ratings because in general, the people playing it liked the first one. It's safe to say, that if they were first parts of the story and not sequels, there's a good chance they'd also meet the requirement for unpublishing.

SPIDER-MAN:Rise of Carnage part 1 has been un-published.

Thanks everyone for your comments on it.

Ultimately, since it is only un-published and not deleted, the game could potentially be improved by the author and get re-published (sent him a PM saying as much).

As Sneak Peak is still active, anyone playing the other Spiderman games can still go read it (if they want) - and someone could always just post a Thread in the Parlor, directing users with a Link to the game, just so they can go read KF's Comments on it.

If I am not mistaken, I think this has already been done already too.

Journey to the Center of the Sun has been un-published for 1 Rating with 1 Length with enough Rating over 1 Week.

escape the house has been un-published for Rating 1, Length 1, with all other requirments.

Recommending storygame for deleting, deleting because author said that they won't fix it:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/why~3a-the-tale-of-an-abomination-made-by-a-then-sixth-grade-furry-with-stupid-hair-and-bad-ideas

It's literally unplayable. It lasts one page and has no end links. There's no actual story in it. Even if it's not 1/8, it's unplayable.

Done and points awarded.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warrior-cats~7ethe-final-attack~7e

Recommending a comment for featuring:

That's it? A short game means a short review. Well, I'll make the most of it. 

<"Your going on dawn patrol!"> 
My going on dawnpatrol? Dawnpatrols suck. I don't want to wake up that early! 

<"Come out NOW Darkpelt!"> 
Fine! 

<No Links. You may go back or reset to start over> 
Ahem! Is that supposed to be there? 

That's it? That's the ending? That's the final battle? Yeah, I don't buy it. 


In conclusion; your story was short and lacked choices, along decription in some parts. If this would be continued, it could work better. A bit longer a bit more choices a bit more description.

-- Rosetail on 6/14/2015 12:31:40 PM

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/goldenheart's-life-as-a-warrior-cat

Yup, another Rosetail's comment worth featuring:

Brace yourself, this will be a long one. 


<You as a kit:> 
You do know there isn't a picture there? 


I HAVE to follow the patrol? 

<You followed the patrol out of camp, never losing the scent.> 
I have a great nose for a kit. Almost unusually great... 

<Everyone knew Firenose was the best tracker in the Clan.> 
WAS, I will take his place from now on. 

<You ran and hid under the cover of and elder bush> 
The hell is an elder bush? 

<you breathed in deep. Fox!> 
Yep, Firenose is getting replaced. 

<you slowed down and started creeping through the undergrowth.> 
1 I suppose I spend all my time training with the apprentices too? But wait, I never left the nursery before... 
2 Where did I acquire my stalking skills exactly? 


<You desperately needed help, but there wasn't enough time to go back and get the patrol now.> 
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I ran to get the patrol before creeping up on the fox... 


<go get the patrol > 
Well I guess I'll do it AGAIN, since the patrol is full of idiots. 


<"Darkkit, Redkit. I think it's time for you to be apprentices, that was great work!">
1 So they're not mad at them? They could gotten themselves killed, AND they broke the rules! 2 And I'm not sure a couple of kits can take down a fox, even a cub. 


<Good job!" he added to the kits.> 
1. Hopestar's an idiot. His punishment to the kits is to make them apprentices! 
2 Make them apprentices if they're old enough, but at least make them search for the elders kits for the next moon! 


<Silvertail, you are ready for an apprentice, you will be mentor to Redpaw.> 
Hopestar didn't name him Redpaw before giving a mentor? 


< "I'll do my best!" mewed Firenose> 
To replace you as the best tracker! 


<From this day forward you will be called Lightpaw.> 
So lLghtpaw, Lionpaw and I get the normal ceremony, but Darkpaw and Redpaw don't? 


<rannounced Hopestar, she repeated the same words for you and Lionpaw and giving Lionpawl> 
So now Hopestar's a she-cat. A leader with gender changing powers. Seems legit. 


<"I can't wait to have kits one day," Darkbelly exclaimed, "They'll be the best in the Clan!" "No, mine will!" you purred,> 
I'm pretty sure this scene was in Wildfur's Warrior cats Adventure. Well, it's a nice scene... 


<"No!" you screeched 
"I-I don't think I could manage to get there, sorry."> 
1.Come on! At least make me CONSIDER it, instead of forcing me not to come. 
2 I don't even know Hawkheart! Well, I guess it's best that I won't go then. 
3. Yeah, I'm not going. I'm not risking the Warrior Code over some tom I don't even know! 


<"I'm sorry about the way I reacted, but there's someone else I really like. It just won't work for us.> 
Yeah, that's the reason it wouldn't work. There obviously aren't any rules against it! 


<You met Hawkheart the next night.> 
I'm pretty sure I just stated that I won't meet him. 


<You flicked a pawful of leaves at him. "Get off my territory!" > 
No, I flicked a faceful of claws at him. 


<"O-of course, but I... I was hoping we were more than friends?"< 
I'm pretty sure we went over this in the gathering... 


<"I do!" your heart was telling you to say the opposite of what you were about to say, "But I'm loyal to my Clan! I can't!" You raced back to camp and curled up in your nest, but you couldn't sleep. All you could think about was Hawkheart, and the look on his face whene he saw you that night.> 
"I don't!" my heart was telling me the exact same. I barely knew the cat! "I'm loyal to my Clan! I can't!" I raced back to camp after shooing him off the territory, and curled up in my nests. All I could think about was Hawkhearts flesh between my claws. 


<You let out a furious yowl and leap at Hawkheart.> 
I have been expecting this. It finally happened! 


<You claw at his ears and rake your claws down his flank. "What are you doing?" he whispered, "I love you, I thought you felt the same." Your heart twisted with pity, "You almost killed him!" you repeated, then, turning to Darkbelly, you added, "We need to get you home." > 
Hawkheart, I barely know you, yet I still hate you in a way. 


<You give Hawkheart a blow to the leg and whisped, "Meet me at the border tonight.> 
I will murder your face! 


<"Wildkit, from this moment on, until you receive your medicine cat name, you will be known as Wildpaw.> 
The Clan leader doesn't name medicine cat apprentices. The ceremony is performed at the Monnstone/pool/StarClan palce, at the medicine cat meeting. 


< "Yes, her name is Mapleshade."> 
Mapleshade? The crazy cannibal cat, well that's what I've heard. I've never read Maplshade's vengeance... 


Another fox? Can't I go anywhere with out running in to one? I'm on a quest! 


Man, this is a long WC story. Am I even halfway there? 


<He looked surprised that your hearing was even that strong.> 
I have great tracking and hearing? Yes! I am powerful! 


< "Well, I'm not trying to brag but, I am the fastest runner in my Clan."> 
What can't I do? 


<You found yourself falling for him, wishing things were different so you could be together.> 
No I didn't! 


<You have shown acute hearing, great strength, and now my power, to see memories and intrude in other cats dreams.> 
There are enough Jayfeather OCs already! 


<I wish we could be together, now, and forever! he was thinking. I do, too! you thought, hoping he would hear.> 
No I didn't! 


Agh, and people say long WC games don't exsist?! 


<The end, see you in the next story!> 
Normally I would say "Don't split these in to parts." , but I always say "unless you make them long enough to be game of its own." This is long enough. 

This was long enough, maybe even too long, who knows? 
Th grammar needs improvement, dialogue of two cats shouldn't be on the same row. 

I feel like you could have described things a bit more.

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/lemon-simulator-2015

Rosetail can replace Kiel_Farren at this rate:

I have my notepad ready, let's play. 


<You wake up, suddenly aware that you are a lemon. You have no idea where you are, why you are there or what is happening.> 
Yet I'm still aware I'm a lemon. Are lemons even aware that they are lemons? How can one be aware they're a lemon? 

<You roll onto the floor.> 
Since when have lemons had a mind of their own? 

<The human doesn't notice you, but steps on you, squishing your face.> 
Lemons don't have faces. And I'm pretty sure it noticed me after stepping on me. 

<You let out a lemony scream, terrifying him and making him drop the knife.> 
I'm pretty sure lemons can't scream. 

<Using your lemon skills, you tie him down and interrogate him.> 
Do you even know what a lemon is? 

<You explode, destroying the house and the people imprisoning you. > 
I'm just gonna stop talking about what lemons can and can't do... 

<You roll to the garden centre, and ask about lemons. The garden centre doesn't sell lemons and a member of staff politely asks you to leave.> 
Yes, because that's exactly what I'd do if I saw a talking lemon. 

<You demand for more information, but they know nothing about lemons whatsoever.> 
Stupid unknowing humans. Know nothing about nmy lemon kind! 

<You explain that you are human and have been trapped in a lemon's body. Thinking you are crazy, they grab a battleaxe and command you to leave.> 
I'm a LEMON! What do you need the battle axe for? 
"Oh know! It's a crazy lemon! Go get the manager's battle axe!" 
"Not the manager?" 
"There's no time! Go get the axe!" 

<You pull out a concealed broadsword, and cut off the opponent's head. The surrounding customers flee the scene in fear of you.> 
I have a SWORD? I'm one badass lemon then... 

<You enter the employees' lounge, and after searching for a few minutes you find a secret passage behind a vending machine. After following a long, dark passage for several hours, you find a candle-lit altar with a pile of ashes on top.> 
Now, this looks promising... 

<Urinate in the corner. > 
... 

<A smile of relief spreads across your lemon face, but suddenly a secret passage opens.> 
It worked! 

<It says 'LOL', and before you can even consider what this means, you are crushed by a falling anvil.> 
I guess not... 

<Upon closer inspection, you find chunks of potato in the ash, and you realise you are in the den of the notorious anti-potato cult.> 
Not the anti potato cult! 

<You are officially the world's most famous lemon.> 
Wasn't I suppose to return to my human form? Ah forget it. I'm the world's most famous lemon! 

<[There are still many different endings to achieve, this being only one. Restart and find more, or leave a comment if you are satisfied with your lemon deeds.]> 
I am very satisfied being the world's most famous lemon. 


I don't know why, but I just love these random games.

Ehh, I think Sentinel emulated my style better, but she gets an A for effort. So far, though, no one seems to have my sense of humor down.

(xD So many imitators.)

Recommending story for deletion:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/fnaf-night-2~21~21~21

Reason: It has been rated over seven times, has a rating of 1, and has been published for more than one week.

Agreed.

FNAF The first night! & FNAF Night 2!!! have both been un-published for remaining Rated 1 with a Length of 1 for over a week.

Recommending a storygames for gategory change:

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warriors-pick-your-path

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/warrior-cats-pick-your-path

They're in Fantasy Adventure, when they should be in Fanfiction.

Agreed on both, but only giving points for the one that is not a troll game (as it may actually meet minimum standards and stick around a while)~

Recommending a storygame for unpublishing: (Ooh, actually never did one of these before...)

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/10-hard-riddles 

It has been published for over a week, but has a rating of 1/8, and a length of 1/8. There are a lot of dead pages, spelling and grammar is terrible (which the author himself also says), etc. etc.

Agreed - Game Unpublished~

THIS THREAD IS CLOSED ~

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