Homo Perfectus

a Sci-Fi by SindriV

Commended by BerkaZerka on 9/21/2019 8:52:35 AM

Player Rating6.66/8

"#22 overall, #5 for 2011"
based on 2945 ratings since 09/09/2012
played 33,408 times (finished 2,847)

Story Difficulty4/8

"march in the swamp"

Play Length4/8

"A well spent lunch break"

Maturity Level2/8

"choking hazard for children under 4"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 6. To compare to the movie rating system, this would be G.

You are Adam, one of two of the Homo Perfectus's, along with Eve. You two have lived on father's facility for the last fifteen years and have no knowledge of any existence beyond those metallic walls.

NOTE-Items take on the form "capabilities" in this game, which generally means super powers.

Player Comments

This story has a really cool and original premise, and I enjoyed it a lot. While it's not a hard sci-fi with logical explanations behind the futuristic stuff (in this case, powers), I still found it interesting. It does some really creative things with the items/powers that you have, something I haven't seen in any other stories and makes it a really interesting blend of story and game. I honestly recommend everyone play it, because the powers alone make it enjoyable, and just trying to figure out where I could use some of them was fun.

Spoilers ahead:
The biggest issue is that this story is too short! There's a lack of descriptions and characterization that could make this one of the best stories on the site. For example, it would be cool to have a detailed description of this somewhat futuristic city, and some more characterization for Mark, who is just a random person that decides to help you for no real reason. But both of the big fight scenes I encountered, against Teacher and then against Meckard and eve, were really cool. I had to consider what powers to use in response to what, and mostly had a lot of agency to win these fights the way I wanted to. The final fight scene had one place where you could only use one power, and overall the smell power was useless, but otherwise all of them were useful and contributed to the plot.
It'll also be interesting to see what happens in the sequels, because in my ending, the "heroic" one, I killed both Eve and Meckard, so there's no room for the plot to continue.
-- WizzyCat on 1/20/2021 9:12:15 PM with a score of 0
This will always be my favorite series on the site. This storygame was the first one I ever read and it was what captivated me and drew me into the CYTian community. The idea behind this is amazing, and the whole series is worthy of being featured. I think that the length is great and the action is well-paced, and so good that it keeps you on your toes the whole time.

The writing flows magnificently, adjusting with each scene like water into a new container. The pace switches to accommodate each scene as well, and it just has a way of attracting the reader to keep reading and to play again and again to the the full story.

It was a very good idea to give a bit of a backstory for our character so that we as readers are not confused by being thrown into conflict. The plot thickens and is very structured, with everything a story needs to be featured. With the help of the advanced editor, this makes it even more complex and highly addicting.

One complaint I do have is the lack of descriptive writing. There is some of course, but I feel that a story along these margins requires a lot more than produced. I like to have a feeling of being a part of the story itself, like it is a film being played inside my mind.

Another problem is how characters are introduced. They feel thrown in, like someone being pushed inside a boxing ring and being forced to reveal themselves to us. With a bit of work, character introduction can greatly improve your story for a stronger attachment to the character from the reader. You did very well with developing the characters thoug, and this more than makes up for everything. Changes in Adam are easily seen and foreshadowed to give us an idea of how to use him effectively.

I can't say much about the practicality of your solutions, as this is a superhero story, but the conflicts are generally realistic and are inserted at a good pace that complements the plot line nicely.

The story avoids linearity and gives us as readers a wide variety of options, aided by the advanced editor so that we can play again and aim for a different ending.

If I recall correctly, English isn't the authors first language, so proofreading with someone's help is always important, and I didn't actually catch many errors. They do not affect the storyline, so no complaints about that.

7/8
-- Nyctophilia on 2/22/2017 12:14:54 PM with a score of 0
You, sir, have earned my respect for creating a game that is all at once suspenseful, funny, action-packed, and genuinely human without resorting to cheap tricks, shocking violence, or crude sensuality.

The pacing was balanced, and the content moved seamlessly from suspense to action to comedy to whatever else you've managed to fit in there. The story was excellent, relentlessly drawing me forward while allowing me legitimate alternative paths (as opposed to an obvious main path accompanied by stubby, shoddy dead ends). And the characters had real depth; I felt myself applying my own personality to Adam, wondering not what I might like him to do but rather what I myself would do! The first person perspective is a great choice for immersion.

I got stuck a few times trying to figure out which power to use, but the right choice always made the most sense in the end and was often ingeniously implemented.

Thank you for sharing your talent with us! I'm looking forward to continuing the saga...
-- WordSmith37 on 4/17/2015 8:34:43 PM with a score of 0
I remember playing this story years ago, when ChooseYourStory was relatively new, and after being reminded of this story by a reddit post, have decided to return; to see if it still holds up, and it does.
-- Hunter on 5/6/2021 9:12:37 AM with a score of 0
This game is great. Thoughtful, Original, and funny sometimes. It is a great backdrop for the rest of the series to.
-- Zombie_Surviver on 4/14/2021 2:29:23 PM with a score of 0
I really liked this one! The ability items were an interesting choice, and I loved all the different choices you could make. Hints were really helpful at times, but I also liked figuring things out for myself.
8/8
-- bondogggle on 1/17/2021 10:18:41 PM with a score of 0
Wow um yes
-- Riman124 on 12/25/2020 7:03:34 AM with a score of 0
Amazing
-- Legion on 12/23/2020 9:11:25 AM with a score of 0
Yeah, it was fine, I guess.
-- HalfMartian on 12/22/2020 11:12:08 PM with a score of 0
Too short for excitement
-- Lunlop on 12/6/2020 1:28:51 PM with a score of 0
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