The Secret of the Mysterious Door

The storygame is riddled with spelling and grammar mistakes, so I will say this yet again: proofread your work. It may be a tedious and seemingly useless task, but it will so helpful once you finish the storygame and publish it. I'd say you should go through this and tweak some things, along with the spelling/grammar.

The writing is choppy and simple. It's not interesting or structured, and really needs to be redone. This whole story needs to be redone, honestly. The idea was fine, it just wasn't used wisely and with the best of attention and skill.

The plot line was excellent, and I was very entertained as the story progressed. You did a very nice job with keeping a nice pace and didn't end the storygame too quickly or obviously. I'm very satisified with trending I go, so that's great.

Just never forget to listen to the advice people give you and proofread your work! ^~^

4/8

Very, very random. It was extremely linear at multiple points and I barely understood what was happening at some points because the situations made little to no sense. For example...

"Suddenly, the floor beneath your feet vanishes and you fall into a bottomless hole."

Ok. So, for no logical reason, the floor just vanishes and I die? Ok then.

But I guess I did like the plot. It's very interesting to see someone make a school based story with a mystery aspect.

The setting was a bit dull and not very well fleshed out, but hey, it's better then some stories on here.

Character development wasn't exactly 10/10, but it was definitely there, little or not.

3/8.

A pretty decent storygame. ^_^

Yes, it was somewhat random as far as the 'mystery' and adventure goes in this, but this wasn't a bad story by any means. The writing is good, though sometimes I couldn't help but feel that it lacked imagination or detail for when such things were crucial. I must say that this seems like a storygame that would've benefited greatly from the use of the advanced editor, because it automatically assumes the player to have items that they wouldn't have obtained unless going through certain scenarios. That's an issue, because it somewhat makes this storygame feel a bit disconnected in its presentation unfortunately.

Also, there are deaths in this game that seem to come at the player at random and there's not much here in terms of characterization. For the most part though, this does remain a pretty decently made story. Minor issues with grammar aside and such.

If anything, despite some flaws this was quite enjoyable and I look forward to reading more from this writer.

Very nice.

nice :)

It’s not a proper plot

Thanks for a clean story that I can share with my classroom

this game is fun, it's full of adventure and it's just so fun to play

it was okay

The story was a bit confusing and there was a glitch of me being able to use a light I never had. But, I thought it was a fun story. One tip for future stories would be to put a little more work into background characters.