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This is a simple game,you make a wish and the next person grants your wish but makes something bad happen.

Example,person: I wish I could have a puppy.

Example,genie:Wish granted but the next day the puppy trasforms into the hulk and kills you.

I'll start,I wish I could fly.

(P.S. you don't have to make your awnser as wacked out as mine if you are the genie)

You learn to fly on the first day. but then, unfortunately 45000 feet in the air, you realize that it was just for 24 hours.

I want a cookie.

nate

Granted, but you choke on it when you eat it.

I want a magic wand.

granted.

unfortunately you were dooped like many others and your 360 scratches it right after the opening sequence.

i want 10 million dollars.

Granted.

Unfortunately it was stolen from your local bank. You are arrested.

I want to live forever.

Riley

Granted.

Too bad you didn't ask for eternal youth. The more you live the more painful it becomes just to breath or move. You can't bear it, but you can't commit suicide either. The apocalypse happens a week before scientists would have discovered the secret to youth. (By apocalypse I mean the great invasion of the Overminds)

I just wish I had a delicious, good-tasting grilled cheese sandwich that doesn't belong to anyone else, won't cause any fights, is made from authentic, legal uninfected cheddar cheese and whole grain bread and nothing else, tastes like melted cheddar cheese, isn't too dry or wet, doesn't make a mess, doesn't stick too much, is cooked and grilled to perfection, isn't alive, nothing harmful or undesirable on or in it, won't attract wild animals, and is just delicious enough to enjoy so it won't consume my life. It should have a bread surface area of three square inches on both sides and one inch from the top of one piece of bread to the top of the other. The bread must be firm but not hard or stale, and not be moldy soggy, etc. The chef who made the sandwich must be someone I know and trust who in no way tampered with the sandwich malevolently. It must have solid form holdable in my hands and can't contain the cure for cancer or AIDS, an alien baby, or anything else important. I can't feel or be too bloated or sick before or after I've eaten it. It can't make me thirsty or crave anything else. I must be in a comfortable position under no pressure while eating my sandwich, which means I can have my sandwich and eat it too.

Granted.

While eating your delicious perfect grilled cheese sandwich, you are distracted by the perfection of the miracle sandwich, and don't realize your house is on fire. You are burned to ashes.

I wish I was the king of the universe.

riley

granted,but then a large group of rebels climbed up your castle(or house)walls and they toutured you in unspeakable way until they fed you to the giant man eating lizard.

I wish for an indestructable ,light weight,bouncy,bubble shield(with tiny air holes that can filter out toxins)that I can turn off by me saying a special code(Yet simple so I don't forget.

(I know I made errors up there,save me the drama please)

Granted. Unfortunately, an assassin that was mutated to have the ability to pass through any object enters your bubble shield and strangles you to death. Then he burns the body and lives in the bubble for the rest of his life.

I wish I could die peacefully and go to heaven.

Wish granted, but when the time came you had 10000000000000000000000000000000000000$ and you were the ritchest man in the world, the money had corrupted your mind and you were so greedy that you didn't want to go.So you were sent to hell being dragged down by the entire deamon army,that was the last time you ever saw light again.

I wish for my body to be made of indestructable, diamond hard. chain mail-like material and my organs to be made out of the same rubber like materialand my bones are solid diamond and my blood is- well,you get the idea.

Granted. You immediately topple over unable to support your own weight, never to move again.

I wish koolgai's corruption of Anubis' wish made more sense-er, I mean,

I wish the Wii's hardware capabilities and third-party games didn't suck so bad.

Granted!  Now, given the power of the once-crappy system, Wii sales skyrocket!  Now that all have Wiis, the no longer feel the need to have other systems, so they throw their PS3's and 360's out.  Sony and Microsoft, realizing that they cannot deal with the new technology, drop their videogame divisions and start focusing on the more practical things, such as Walkman Cassette players and laser pointers.  Nintendo, with it's new monopoly, starts to produce shittier and shittier games at unbelievable prices!  The US government takes heed of this and commits to put an end to it all, but because Nintendo is so strong, they can afford to build bigger and better weapons than any country.  Withing 14 days, they take over the world, enslave us, and force us to play Mario Party 5000 till the end of time.

I wish for a corruption-free society.

Granted! But then this society dies of the plague. Sad. ;(

I wish that Seth would start the Medieval Knights community game.

Granted, but now you're sad about it.

I wish I was a fish.

Granted. You are the amazing EMP, destroying all microchip technology in a 100-metre radius. Several restraining orders are filed, videogaming becomes impossible for you.

I wish for socioeconomic equality and human rights to exist simultaneously. (ie, no KGB, fair elections, but no super-rich or super-poor either)

Granted.  It fails shortly thereafter.

I wish there were fewer idiots on this earth.

Granted.  We all die of cold and infections.

I wish for a grasp of true freedom.

Granted. While enjoying your freedom, you find yourself in a desert and eventually die of exposure, dehydration, and bloodloss because some asshole shot you with a bow and arrow.

I wish to be able to stop time.

Granted. Too bad you stop as well.

I wish my wish would come true...

riley

Granted. Unfortunately you get caught in a neverending loop.

Granted.  Unfortunately you get caught in a neverending loop.

granted. Unfortunately you drop the jar, it cracks, and the awesomeness is unleashed upon a world not ready for such awesomenotosity. The planet inplodes upon itself.

I wish the zombie apocalypse was upon us. (Make THAT worse! Ha!)

Riley

AAAAAAAGGH, NOT MILEY CYRUS APOCALYPSE ANYTHING BUT THAT!

Oh, um, granted. George Bush becomes president for life, but due to total outrage actually gets impeached this time. Oh, and in the frenzy you get trampled to death by a mob.

I wish October would post in the mafia game.

Another wish unable to be granted.

I wish that Simple Plan, Pink and Celine Dion were banned from ever making music again.

Granted. It's called Wish Corrupter.

I wish my head would asplode.

Your head explodes but it painfully reconnects itself back together

I wish I was dead. (Make THAT worse)

Granted. You go to hell, leaving behind the million dollars you almost won from the lottery.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

Granted.  You know what to wish for.  Unfortunately, you wish people's wishes stopped coming true.

Fortunately, Seth doesn't wish for anything.

I wish for world peas.

Granted. Unfortunately, the wish doesn't come true as per Melike's last wish.

I wish for you to SHADDAAAAAAP!

Granted. Now Silver cannot finish the mafia.

I wish I knew everything.

Granted. You now know that you suck at life, so you try and commit suicide.

I wish that I could come up with a wiity wish.

You think of an awesome wish but then you forget and you wish for a cookie instead and you choke on it and die.(EVIL COOKIES>=) )

I wish for a perfect,immortal,eternal life(with eternal youth) with no consoquences whatsoever.(SO HAHAHAHA :p)

(Just kiddin' about the laughing part, I think you guys are cool)

Granted. That doesn't stop life from sucking. Forever. Well, at least until the Overmind invasion. You and DV13 hold hands when it happens. Wait, no. Scratch that. No hand-holding.

I wish I had a healthy sleep schedule.

Granted, Unfortunately, due to the fact that I have no clue who that is, he does unspeakable, terrible things to you, such as *this portion of post has been deemed innapropriate. dont let it happen again. nate*

...You guys can do that now?...Damn,....I hadn't even posted it yet....Holy *this portion of post has been deemed innapropriate. dont let it happen again. nate*

well,...I wish I had those parts of my post back.

Riley

You laugh but Nate (or nate) takes offense and sends Super Mega Deth Christ 2.0 Beta Version to your house to kill you.

I wish nate was here...

Riley

Lol, oh.

Well in that case he goes all vegatarian "save the rain forest on your ass and you are bored to death.

(Lol, funny thing is I love that band)

Riley

Granted. It never goes down, but that means the Earth stops spinning completely. The ecosystem collapses and everyone dies.

I wish I could be as funny as DV13 and Maze Man combined.

lol, melike, you shouldn't even mention me and mazeman in the same sentence as the word "funny". He s way funnier than me. But thanks though.

granted, but then riley fucks it up by posting. Dumbass.

I wish i had a bicycle.

Riley

Granted. Unfortunately he dies because he ate too much maple syrup this morning and cracks and falls through the ice and drowns and shit.

I wish I my vacation lasted...forevarrr.

granted, unfortunately your definition of vacation and your genies definition differ. you die 'forevarr'

i was for better nate insults.

nate

Granted. Unfortunately, the cup is filled with poisonous snakes and fleas that devour the Leaves.

I wish that nate's insults would make sense.

Granted. He's closing the site.

I wish for Roberto Luongo and Chuck Norris to have an epic battle for our amusement.

Granted. Chuck Norris wins.

I wish that somebody, somewhere, would sneeze.

Granted. George Bush is drooling over his nuke control pad, savoring his last moments with it. He sneezes. Fill in the blank.

I wish JJJ would have answered my Chuck/Roberto wish instead for epic lulz.

Granted. Oh, wait. Never mind.

I wish that Palin ran for president for teh lulz.

Which Venus Project? The one to end poverty or the one to get to Venus? I'll go with the poverty one.

Granted. Nobody is poor. But that doesn't mean everyone is rich.

I wish that teachers would not hate Wikipedia.

Granted. Wikipedia disappears. Now they don't have it to hate. Or for an alternative,

Teachers now love it. They flood the site editing it like crazy and creating long talk pages. They make it thoroughly unenjoyable and unuseable.

I wish Rommel would finish The Lines are Drawn. (Which I'm sure he's hard at work with)

Granted. Unfortunately it's only half-way finished and everyone gives it 1's. (BTW, I love you Rommel, no homo.)

I wish more people at my school liked video games.

Granted. Too bad I hunt you down and kill you in a voilent rage.

Because I can.

...I wish I would go on less violent rages...

Riley

(LOL Nice)

Granted. Now shut the fuck up.

I wish that Solo would stop crying about the Leaves.

Granted. The snow melts away and you have a few days of warmth for a change. Since the snow is gone, the police find that body that you buried, you sick monkey.

I wish my homework was done so I'll learn not to procrastinate all break without having to actually face the consequences.

Granted,then you radomly set on fire for no apparent reason.^_^

I wish I knew what I wish for.

granted. you wish to be viciously killed by DV13 for trying to steal the "random" thing, but making it unfunny...

I wish koolgai to be killed...

Riley

Granted. He takes you along with him. Fucking Martyrdom.

I wish I could get headshots easier in CSS.

Granted. Unfortunately you spend so long perfecting your headshots, that by the time you have it down, everyone has long since forgotten about CSS.

I wish Anubis would stop making out with Chuck Norris in front of me. It's weirding me out.

Riley

Granted.

I wish that Microsoft released amazing DLC for free for all the games that I have and will have, and that I will never lose connection with XBox LIVE and be able to enjoy my games forever with all my friends, always.

Granted. Your friends are cannibals. They eat you. (never said they were GOOD friends)

I wish Anubis would die.

Riley

(...Especially because most of them live at least at the other side of the state, country, or ocean. You fail.)

Granted. I take you with me and torment you in hell. Fucking Martyrdom, bitch!

I wish that DV13 would stop taking everything so personally.

Granted. Unfortunately, he was never taking anything personally in the first place, so you wasted a wish.

I wish that this wish was incorruptible.

Riley

Too bad.

I wish that I could have had to had to have had to have had to have to have had to had to had have had to have had.

Genie said no. Don't shoot the messenger, the genie said it, not me.

I wish I had an ice cream cone.

Riley

Granted. There's no ice cream in it. What's more, it's stale.

I wish I could go back in time to have a hand in creating this site.

Granted. Unfortuantely YOU had a hand in creating the site. 'Nuff said.

Riley

Granted.  Unfortunately you get caught in a neverending loop.  Again.

I can't wish-- we're caught in a neverending loop.

I guess I wish we weren't caught in a neverending loop.

Or perhaps I wish this game were over.

umm...i'm gonna pretend you said, "I wish it would be REALLY funny if I deleted the thread."

granted. Unfortunately you didn't do it. Therefore, it's not funny.

Riley

I wish that JJJ would delete this thread, lawl, and then have koolgai flip teh shit.

Grnted. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you in the face.

I wish I would start remembering to post a fucking wish...

Riley

Wtf is grnted? lol

Granted. There...there you go.

I wish I had a million kajillion air.

You post a wish, but then something bad happens.

I wish to be awesome!

The genie laughs at your weak attempt to be humorous and kills you.

I wish Bob hadn't told me that his balls haven't dropped...

Riley

Wish Granted. I sent you spam instead!

I wish for a snow day on Wendsday.

No no no, the genie killed you, remember?

I wish weatherboy would leave...

Riley

LOL Your balls will never drop!! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!! ROFLCOPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111ONE

*wipes tear from eye* Oh ho ho, that's priceless mah boi.

Anyway,

Granted. Um, just hold on for a few minutes/hours. We need to sufficiently rape him first.

I wish that Bob wasn't such a fag.

Granted. You're a fat ugly hooker with no friends and a huge...bleeeeeeeeaaaaargh on your face and back.

Oops, that's already the truth.

I wish I could live with the dinosaurs. And ride a Pterodactyl without falling, getting eaten, starving, dying, having painful experiences physically or mentally, and doing a hot, STD-less chick that is totally all over me and will only want me for the rest of eternity. But hot, I mean like FUCKING EFFIN' HOT.

Unable to be granted. You can't ask twice, mothahfuckah!

Fine, then unable to be granted because you're caucasian.

Granted. Unfortunately, Jared knocks down your door and forces you down and sucks the fat out through your dick.

I wish JJJ was my boyfriend...

Riley

Granted. I am still a fuck sick, though.

I wish DV13 and JJJ would make a 2 guys 1 cup vid. I wouldn't watch it, but I'd send it to your mothers.

I'm not a sick fuck! I'm a fuck sick! Asshole!

And yes, I probably would watch it anyway.

granted. I make it loop over and over on your computer.

I wish I had a pony.

Riley

I WOULD DO THAT IF I HAD THE VIDEO!

Granted. The pony tramples you. Boohoo.

I wish that DV13 hadn't died. ;(

Banned for forgetting a wish.

Granted. But i'm a zombie. The apocalypse beginsa.

I wish Anubis hadnt fucked the world over...

Riley

haha fuck u. lol

Riley

Too late. Sucks, I know.

I wish I could go through a zombie apocalypse and survive, while retaining my sanity and exiting the hell unscathed and with all my friends and people in my party alive.

Granted, but you do that after making necrosexual love to them.

I wish I could fly forever.

Granted. They're not ready yet but you eat them anyway. Nasty.

I wish I could keep up with all these posts.

Granted. NOW STOP SIMUL-POSTING, ASSHOLE!

I wish I had a new keyboard.

Granted, but it's my old one.

You don't want to know.

...I wish he knew...

Riley

Granted. Unfortunately it is interrupted by a chainsaw-wielding maniac who slices your family into tiny bits, forces you to eat the bits, and then slowly dismembers you and then leaves you to bleed-out.

I wish I could read.

Fuck you, I'm actually blind motherfucker.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24mZ0UZYyKk

Granted. He bitches and moans and post gibberish.

I wish I had a lesbian...

Riley

Granted. But I snatch that snatch and we make sweet love in front of you while you watch helpless and envious.

I wish I wasn't amazing for a change.

Granted, but Obama comes and forcefully shuts down your operation because he holds a monopoly on change.

I wish I had the board game Monopoly.

Granted. Unfortunately, you choke on that fucking clothes iron and die.

I wish Melike wasn't such a noob.

Granted but the little white man with the top hat kicks your ass.

I wish I was fat...

Riley

Uh, I don't need to grant that. It's done already.

I wish I hadn't nuked the fridge.

Uh. I don't need to grant that. It's done already.

I wish I hadn't nuked the fridge.

Riley

Uh. I don't need to grant that. It's done already.

I wish I hadn't nuked the fridge.

Uh. I don't need to grant that. It's done already.

I wish I was fat...

Riley

Uh. I don't need to grant that. It's done already.

I wish I had infinite wishes.

Uh, I dont need to grant that. you're gay.

I wish I was fat.

Riley

Granted. You puke out the ribs and forget the taste of the ribs because the puke is so bad. Kinda reminds me and you of 2G1C.

You're not full but damn those ribs were horrible.

I wish I was dead.

Riley

Granted. Unfortunately, your death is slow and painful.

I wish DV13 was actually funny at the current time.

Granted. It's reminds you of the VIDEO 2 girls 1 cup.

I wish JJJ wasn't such an imbecile.

Impossible.

I wish Anubis would stop commiting incest.

Riley

Granted. Sozz.

I wish DV13 would stop fingering his infant son.

Granted. But since i've never done that, you wasted a wish.

I wish Anubis would stop fingering his mother.

Riley

Granted. DV13's infant son starts fingering him.

I wish I belonged.

Unable to grant wish.

I wish Melike didn't epic fail so much.

FUCK YOU ANUBIS! FUCK YOUFUCK YOUFUCK YOU!

riley

Granted. Too bad you belong in hell.

I wish Melike would leave. (love you melike)

Riley

Granted. Bye-bye!

I wish DV13 wasn't so mean!!!!!!!!!!111111

Granted. :) I'm sorry. Love you.

I wish I could make up for my sins.

Riley

Granted. To do so, you sell you and your family into slavery. I AM YOUR MASTER!!!! Hahahahahahaha!!!

I wish we could keep this forum binge up all week!

Granted. Unfortunately nate convinces alex to ban us.

I wish I had my two front teeth.

Rley

BANNED FOR BRING THAT INTO THIS THREAD.

Granted. Bob steals them because he lost his.

I wish Anubis made a wish.

Granted. I have made a wish in the past!

I wish that Melike would stay here.

Granted. But you have AIDS.

I wish I haad 3 more wishes.

Riley

Granted. You start with yourself.

I wish for an India Rubber Ball.

Granted. Too bad that includes you.

I wish I had a working bass pedal for RB2.

Riley

Granted. The meaning of haad is wasted.

I wish I had 3 more wishes.

Granted. How do you feel?

I wish for a Obama bobble-head.

Granted. It gets stolen.

I wish Friday the 13th Remake was out NOW.

Riley

Granted. The remake is a documentary, and you are the last victim.

I wish I was the director of that movie.

Granted. The entire crew including the director is murdered as well.

I wish I wasn't hung over from that posting binge.

Granted.  Unfortunately, all the slushy snow melts and floods my apartment. 

Which is actually happening.  Filthy groundwater is seeping up through my floor.  Everything I own is either in boxes in the second bedroom or piled on top of furniture.  I hate you 3j.

I wish 3j had to live somewhere that flooded.

Granted.  All the slushy snow melts and floods JJJ's house.

I wish I was SPARTAH!!!

Granted.  Unfortunately, we were both wrong and there is a hell.  Damn.

I wish Angelina Jolie would stop adopting/haivng kids.

Granted. Seriously. Granted.

I wish my friends had 360's so we could play online together.

Wish Granted. Your x-box is virus contained and connecting to the internet corrupts the entire World Wide Web in about 3 hours.

I wish for a genie that gave me three wishes

Granted. You waste them on "I wish for a penny. I wish for a dime. I wish a 100-ton metal...thing crushed me."

I wish a 100-ton metal...thing crushed me.

Granted.  You are reincarnated as a female squid.

I wish I had a copy of Photoshop.

You forgot to wish for anything.

Granted.  I didn't get caught because I chose not to pirate a copy of Photoshop.  Unfortunately, I still don't have Photoshop.

I wish someone I knew would buy me a copy of Photoshop Elements.

(You just skimmed, huh?)

Granted. Unfortunately, someone hands you a Nuka-Cola, and you die of radiation sickness.

I wish I had my own personal VATS system that only I could use and would always work in perfect condition.

Granted. Unfortunately, you suck for playing too much Fallout 3 when I can't.

I wish I had anubis's copy of Fallout 3.

Riley

Granted.  Unfortunately, you can't play it cause it's 360 and you only have a ps3.

I wish Mister Burke would come back to Megaton and we could move to Tenpenny Tower together. 

Granted. Unfortunately I killed him.

I wish I could find more ammunition easier.

(I have 360. You phail. lol)

Grantred. You find a bullet. in your brain.

I wish I my last wish had actually been corrupted.

Riley

(One headshot won't kill me.)

Your grammar broke. Sorry.

I wish I had an extra second.

Would be granted, but I killed you for being a grammar nazi. You little bitch.

I wish Anubis would die again.

Riley

Granted. Hurk!! Bleah....

RESPAWN IN 3 2 1...

Hey guys.

I wish my computer had a better graphics card.

Granted. Your new graphics card works well, but the rest of your computer can't handle the 1337 gr4fx and promptly asplodes.

I wish a new mafia game would start soon.

Granted. A mafia game starts in a daycare centre not far from your home. Toddlers with tommyguns overthrow the neighbourhood, and you are shot, or recruited by a mafia pimp, whatever you want.

I wish for something to go wrong with this wish.

Granted. The world explodes. It's pretty peaceful after that.

I wish my house was immune to power outages.

Granted. However, it is NOT immune to my previously mentioned random violent rages.

I wish my random violent rages were less random, but more violent.

Riley

Granted. You now have a nuclear fission plant in your backyard, get rad. poisoning from the waste and turn the entire neighbourhood into a plutonium dump, lowering property values. I hope your happy.

I wish to know the secret of transferring energy without wasting anything (ie, no increase in entropy).

Granted. The oil companies assassinate you just like they did to everyone else who learned the secret.

I wish I owned a successful oil company.

Granted. You and your evil corporation make a killing as oil prices skyrocket, but soon drilling for oil becomes too expensive. Excepting the rich and the ignorant, renewable fuels take over the planet. Sales plummet and you are forced to disband the company and sell the now-useless machinery for scrap. With your lowered personal security away from the corporate building, a freedom-fighter heathen terrorist manages to assasinate you, looting your ill-gotten money to build the world's first space elevator.

I wish for the creationists to realise how shaky creationism is, instead of just bashing evolution.

(You guys have made powerful statements and/or cool future scenarios with your wish corruptions. Very cool!)

Granted. Now instead of calling themselves Creationists, they become the Crusaders of the New Age and begin terrorizing "non-believers", "heretics", and those of other faiths. Including you.

I wish that Americans weren't so stupid.

Granted. Americans become smart and leave the planet, causing massive wars for the rest of the planet, who are unprotected by them, and a huge war starts in an effort to populate America.

...I wish Miccy made a wish...

Riley

Granted.

I wish there was musak in the background while we waited for Miccy to make a wish.

Granted. It's screamo death metal. (tee hee)

I wish screamo and death metal could coexist in harmony.

riley

Granted. Unfortunately, "harmony" doesn't mean consonance, so you bleed out through ears.

*sigh*...I wish anubis made a FUCKING wish...lol

riley

Granted.

I wish for a fucking wish.

Granted. Your wish is chosen for you. You wish for sex-deprived cannibals to come to your room tonight...

I wish anubis wouldn't die...

riley

Granted. Both you and he are trapped in decomposing bodies unable to move any limbs or protect yourself from the crows pecking your eyes out. And the necrophiliacs.

I wish I could create Rommel's wish for him.

Granted. Unfortunately the genie has placed limitations on this particular wish. It can only benefit me and what I stand for. It cannot send me insane, bored, tortured, dead, in pain or suicidal. It's effects can only apply to me and what I stand for.

<say my wish on your next post anubis> 

Unfortunately, those limitations only applied to anubis. I choose that your wish is to be raped by a fat  man in a bat man suit.

Riley

...I wish DV had posted a wish...

riley

The limitations AND the wish making capabilities apply to anubis. That last post was invalid.

I wish Rommel would shut the fuck up. Also, I wish I had a dime.

Granted. Unfortunately I only do you the courtesy of "shutting the fuck up" for three seconds. Your dime is counterfeit and you are hauled off by the fraud squad.

I wish David Gemmel was still alive and writing awesome fantasy novels, and when I say awesome, I don't mean he switches his style of writing to twilight or somesuch.

Granted.  Was David Gemmel really that awesome?  I think I read the jacket to one of his books once and I thought "Nah."

HIs Wikipedia entry seems to have promise, though. 

Anyway, David Gemmel comes back to life and writes awesome fantasy novels.  The world needs more awesome fantasy novels, no way I'd screw up that wish.

I wish I could read Russian so I could read the rest of the Erast Fandorin novels directly from author Boris Akunin's website.  How cool is that, really?  An author posting all his novels for free on his website. 

Granted. You now live in Russia and can no longer speak English

(Actually, he is not alone. Joe Dever did the same thing with Lone Wolf, etc...)

(Yes, Gemmel was FANTASTIC. I mean it. If you ever see one of his books, read. His genre is about "heroic" fantasy, about heroes overcoming great odds etc... He is very good at creating worlds, evoking emotion (mostly disgust at the slaughter on the battlefield) and paints good characters, complete with their own style of thinking. He also never sterilises it, the novels come across as bloody, rude and real. I can't fully describe what makes it awesome, but you should definitely read if your sick of fantasy like twilight.)

Я счастлив быть русск!

Я желаю что я знало если этот перевод был точн.

ummm, granted. lol and you now move back to america where you speak english (for the sake of eveyrone here lol).

I want a house.

nate

Granted. It's haunted.

I wish I could think of a better joke than, "I wish Rommel made a wish".

granted.

you come into possession of the elusive "Best Joke Ever". However, upon releasing it upon the world, they find it not that funny. you are now responsible for killing humor.

I want to have some ice cream.

nate

So do I.

I wish iTunes, Xbox LIVE, and electric and water were free.

He does and becomes an arsehole spammer, constantly wanting to talk about scarily feminine things. Also asking your phone number and IP so he can give it to some total strangers. Who own russian websites.

O and

I wish for eternal youth and for my life to be full of fun, good health, good food and no harm.

Granted. Unfortunately, I haunt you.

I wish for a real-life working suit of Power Armor and a Power Helmet, Power Armor training, in perfect condition, that's easy to wear, lightweight, cool, still durable, and can never be stolen or desicrated in any way.

Granted, but its while it was being made they forgot to put a system for taking it off  you can't escape and die several days later  

I wish I was able to eat human flesh with no consequences and i could tell who has dieseases like  AIDS and such

Damn JJJ beat me to the punch....

wish still stands

Granted. Unfortunately you wake up as soon as the dream begins and you never have the dream ever again.

I wish I could live in Vault 101.

Granted. You lead a hopeless, depressed life of incredible boredom while some hero relates his exciting tales.

I wish for a school where teachers treated students like rational human beings instead of infant drones living in nazi germany. A school that also prepares people well for life.

OMG QFT

Granted. Unfortunately, the world is a lot better off. Oh wait, I mean fortunately.

If only I could rant about the education system........................

I wish cafeteria food didn't have to be so disgusting, and instead small businesses worked with the school system to produce good, healthy, worth-your-two-dollars lunches.

Granted. Unfortunately the Buisiness' Organic Restaurant Group is the company that supplies the school (Matriarchal Abnormal Teachers Rule in Xtremis.)

The BORG forces you to eat various fruits, vegetables, growths and algae because "they're good for you". The BORG is mostly comprised of overprotective mothers and teachers of the kind banned in my previous wish. Due to lack of protein and chronic depression, the MATRIX now has the highest suicide rate both outside and inside Japan. Anorexia is on the rise and the kids that survive grow up like their parents.

I wish I could wish Rommel's wish and therefore wish that Santa Claus is real.

He dies and millions of children manage to trace it back to you and promptly rip you limb-from-limb

I wish to be the God-Emperor of Dune

granted.

but like most characters in Dune, you are overlooked by more popular creations like LOTR, Chron. of Narnia, and even Star Wars.

I wish to be the first man to go to Pluto (the planet that no longer is one, not the mickey mouse dog lol) and back.

nate

Granted. Unfortunately you are cruel and opressive. The great houses of the Lansraad (or what's left of it) unite against you. The Guild aids them. Basically; you're screwed.

I wish cold fusion was real.

Granted. Oil companies promptly crush it by buying the patents and blaming the failure on lack of consumer confidence. The documentary, "Who killed Cold Fusion?" bombs at the box office.

I wish Rommel would write another great rant about oil companies.

Granted. Unfortunately this time the oil companies have bribed me to keep me quiet. Oh crap, I just said that out loud.

ALL HAIL MOBIL.

ALL HAIL MOBIL.

come on, think of the pay...

ALL HAIL MOBIL

etc...

I wish for gladiatorial squidfights

Granted. Unfortunately the Squid Gladiators rebel and break out of their colosseums and eventually amass a gigantic army that conquers the world. They execute all humans, including you.

I wish politicians would solve the global warming issue and stop playing with their dicks.

Granted. They forcefully destroy every factory, car, and anything else causing surplus carbon emissions. Not the best solution if you ask me.

I wish for a life-time supply of ice cream and a gigantic freezer with a working elevator in which to store it.

Granted. Unfortunately, it gets stolen.

I wish that I didn't have to go through high school and still knew everything that I learned from the experiences that I would have had if I had gone through high school. Plus, I'd be 18 years old.

Granted. But you die in one of DV13's rampages.

I wish I was safe from DV13's rampages.

Granted. But you're not safe from my rampages.

I wish Melike hadn't resurrected this thread.

Granted, but I re-resurrected it as an in-your-face joke.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

Granted. You wish for a giant squid to tentacle-rape you.

I wish for a Black Christmas.

Could make a racist joke here, but I won't.
Granted, both of your eyeballs are ripped out and returned to you in a bloody stocking.
Pretty sure blacks the colour blind people see.....

I also wish for a giant squid to tentacle-rape me, in a way that I'll be saying no to the squid and I actually lose my will to be tentacle-raped after the wish is made, so that it is actually rape because I'll enjoy it but won't want it, okay?

Granted. You and the squid have fun. Then the squid strangles you to death for the lolz.

I wish that everyone received a single Zimbabwean dollar.

I'm good with that outcome.

Granted, unfortunately the genie is lazy today and gives you all billions of 'Zimbabwean dollars' to hand out to people and you are crushed to death.

But don't worry, everyone still got their dollars in the end, I put it in your will for you :)

...Works for me!

(I'll wish again because I'm awesome.)

I wish that dolphins could speak English.

Granted, they can, and they take over Japan for killing them and their friends the whales, because they can talk now and expose a giant underground government conspiracy in the country, as a result Americans take over the anime industry and make it even SHITTER than it is now.

Yeah I forgot my wish before.....

I wish that I remembered to make a wish on my last post.

Granted.

I wish that I had granted the said wish.

Granted. Now we can all enjoy Black Christmas.

I wish you wouldn't grant this wish.

Granted.

I wish Melike wasn't so racist.

Granted, but he becomes one of those overbearing anti-racists that is actually a racist

I wish Bobby Darin was still alive.

Granted. He then chokes on a banana. But he doesn't die, so...

I wish we were ready to protect ourselves from the impending nuclear holocaust caused by North Korea.

Granted, you soon die of VDS*

I wish Imperialism was still around

*Vault Depression Syndrome

Oh it is. Ask any radical Muslim or African guy. Yes I'm racist.

I wish people would stop using Second Chance in WaW. Everyone.