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Wal*Mart Game Walkthrough
21 years ago
I’m definitely one of the biggest fans of The Wal*Mart Game, and I know how difficult it is to get anything but the lame ending. So, I’ve added this walkthrough that should help you beat it. There’s also some funny things I’ve discovered, but please feel free to add to this!
_Background_
Okay, the Wal*Mart game is an adventure puzzle-solving game where you pick up objects and use them in various places. The plot goes like this: a bunch of terrorists took over the local Wal*Mart and you some how were not rounded up. You can do whatever you’d like, but there are three winning endings (Lame, Cool, and Uber Ending). The Lame is relatively easy, the Cool is insanely difficult, and Uber is practically impossible. In fact, I still haven’t been able to get it.
_The Introduction_
First and foremost, the introduction is optional. If you opt to play through it, you get two items, the Smiley Sticker and one of four magazines. I haven’t found any uses for these items just yet, so you are pretty safe skipping the intro (as far as I know).
Basically, the introduction goes like this. You go to Wal*Mart (you pretty much have no choice in this matter), and are greeted by protestors and then the official Wal*Mart greeter, who kindly hands you a sticker. Once you’re inside, you need to visit the Pets department and the Electronics department. After you’ve done that, a third option will appear which is to check out the UberKomfy lawn chair. On your way to relax on the lawn chair, you have to choose a magazine. Any one will do, I don’t think it makes a difference.
After you relax, terrorists will come and take over the store, and you will wake up to loud gunfire. You can wimp out here, and get a looser ending. But don’t do that, just check out the store.
_The Game_
I’m just going to list off the order I did things in, you really don’t need to do these in any particular order.
Now that the intro is over, you need to go from department to department and get different stuff. First, head on over to the toy department and check out the Educational Toys. From there, pick up the “LeapFrog Turbo Twist Fact Blaster: Smarty Pants Edition” and the “Radio Controlled Go Kart.” The RC Kart will be VERY useful throughout the game!
Now you can go to the Tools/Hardware section. First, grab a pipe and some twine. You’ll use these later. Now, on the Tools and Hardware page, USE your RC Race Cart. Viola! The guard disappeared momentarily. Now here’s your big decision. You can either take the LAME ending or keep going. If you take the Lame Ending, just head for the exit. Otherwise, go ahead and grab the power nail gun. It’s a nice tool to have.
Now, head on over the Grocery/Food. You could get some chips/snacks, but I’ve found that to be a waste of time. I don’t believe they do anything. Now, go to move the shopping carts that are blocking the way. Take the quarter. Try again to move the carts, but USE the Go Kart. Sweet! Now, only go to baking goods (unless you want to die). You can choose two of three items here, I’d pick the Corn Oil and the Flour.
Now is a good time as any to go to the Electronics Department. The only thing you truly need in here is the FRS Radio, but you may as well get everything. I don’t think it matters what FRS Radio you grab. Also, make sure to play the video games, especially Dead Or Alive 3 on the Xbox. If you play DOA3, you’ll end up with some Jeet Kune Do Skillz, which you’ll need as soon as you stop playing DOA3, as you will be confronted by a Terrorist fellow. Just USE your newly found Jeet Kune Do skillz and take him out. Search his body and grab the quarter you find on him too.
Check out the automotive section. Grab the Automotive oil from the outside of the department, and then enter the maze. Getting in was easy, just make sure to get your reward (a bottle of Prestone Starter Fluid). Oh oh! You’re being chased! Now you have to get out of the maze! You can go East, South, South, West, North, West, then South to get out, or you could just USE your Automotive or Cooking oil.
Get to The Exit and pick up the Bic Lighter. You’ll also see vending machines here, which is exactly where you’ll use your quarters. If you put two quarters in the Spy Ear machine, you’ll get it. Everything else is useless junk.
Now, go to the Clothing Department. Get a new change of clothes, but make sure to get the Black Shirt, Black Pants, Black Skimask by using your RC Go Kart when it says there’s a guy there. Sweet! Grab the Terrorist Outfit and go! This will also come in very handy!
Now with your newly found terrorist outfit, you can get into sporting goods! Just USE Terrorist Outfit. Grab all of the items you can here, but make sure to get the Black Powder, you’ll definitely need that later.
So should have visited every area now except for Law & Garden. Before you head on over to there, go ahead and USE your FRS radio. Now you’ll learn about the Loading Dock! Now lets head on over there! You’ll need to find the “Where do you want to go page” and select the newly found Loading Dock. If you peek in the window, you’ll read that a terrorist is guarding the area. The only way to get past him is to have an encounter, so you may as well just Ask Him What He’s doing.
Uh Oh, you’re in trouble now! Not really, while the guy is talking to you, you can easily take him out. You need to hit him twice with different things. You can USE your Starter Fluid (disorients him) and then USE your pipe to whack him. Or you can USE your Jeet Kune Do Skillz and then your pipe, it seems there’s a lot of combinations here.
Once he’s down, Check out the loading dock and make sure to look at the Garage Doors. You’ll have to pick up the quarter and then a link will appear to take you back to the loading dock. That’s it that you need to do now.
Now it’s time to check out Lawn & Garden. Go ahead and USE your terrorist outfit to sneak past the guards. Talk to the manager and quietly tell him who you are. You may as well ask him all the questions you can, you get to learn a little more about the game, and this thing called Formula L. You’ll see an option to Ask him about the Loading Dock keys (note this option will only appear if you picked up the quarter from the Loading Dock). Ask him about the loading dock, and you’ll acquire knowledge of this old door that leads to lawn & Garden. He asks you to come back once you’ve found the door.
Now you’ve gotta head on back to the Loading Dock. Check out the shelves the manager was talking about, and then try to open the door. You’ll learn that it’s dry as a bone. What to do? Lubricate it with your Automotive or Vegetable oil. Sweet, the door unlocks! Now, make sure to NOT open the door up (the game warns you to be fair).
Now that you’ve done that, go back to lawn and garden, use your terrorist outfit, talk to the manager, tell him that you’ve unlocked the door. He’ll give you the key to the loading dock and tell you to think of a BIG distraction.
I guess this part in the game is to let you think of a distraction, but I’ve already done that for you! Just go back to lawn and garden and tell the manager that you’ve thought of a great distraction. Show him your Goex Black Powder by USING it. Now, you need to put it in something, so USE your length of Pipe. He’ll tell you to come back and think of a way to set it off.
Go again back to Lawn & Garden and tell the manager that you’ve thought of a way to set it off. This took me forever to figure out, so I’ll save you the hassle. A Bic lighter will not work, but try it anyways. The secret here is to use your FRS Radio. The manager will take your FRS radio, pipe, and goex powder (although they don’t disappear from your inventory), and tell you to come back after the Electronics guy finishes building the bomb.
You’ll need to go back to lawn & Garden three times and ask if Sparky finished the bomb. On the third time, the manager will hand you a Radio controlled pipe bomb and tell you to set it off. Now it’s getting very exciting!
Go to Lawn & Garden but don’t USE your terrorist outfit. Instead, USE your bomb. It tells you that there is no way to get to the entrance. That’s what your trusty RC Kart is for, so go ahead and USE that. Of course you’ll need to tie the bomb to the Kart, so USE your Twine. Now, drive the Twine to the Entrance of lawn and garden, and then USE your FRS radio.
I think you know what to do now! Go to the Loading Dock, and Check out the old door that you discovered. Open it up, and it’s all smooth sailing from here! I’ll at least keep the ending a surprise for you, but you did it! Well, actually, you completely cheated by using this walkthrough, but still, you should be proud. Don’t ask about the UberEnding, that will come another day!
