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Now, as many of you realize, the god of death, endmaster, has bestowed power to his servant, BerkaZerka. Originally, I had no real fear of this power, since my strength was always in being superior to BZ's penguins, even if the ratio of mustaches to penguins was obviously in their favor. How could necromancy help him in that aspect?

So, instead of worrying, I simply sent a tactical squad to destroy some penguins in the north, mostly due to boredom.

Of course, I could never of expected my mustaches to return, retreating, and detailing a gruesome event.

When killing the usually weak penguins, these monstrosities of flesh were never killed, until their brain would be destroyed. (and with such hardheadedness it was difficult).

My shock at this caused the mustache castle to shake.

I immediately stood from my resting

And called out to my strongest followers, beings of awesome mustaches. The battle still wages, and I fear for their mustaches. 

But your also going to get a golden trophy, which should help you in your ignoble fight. Or maybe, noble, if and only if these are undead penguins. I never side with the undead.

I stretch myself, then when one of my minions tells me of this news, I am in shock.

I offer a strategic alliance against the undead to aman.

Yeah, um, no. 

Think of it this way, you gorillas are hairy, but don't have mustache hair. Thus, even if it would be useful to ally myself with you, I would not. 

But, it doesn't even matter, since you mortals are weaklings. Killing living penguins is impossible for you, how could you kill the undead penguins?

Who said we can't have mustaches. One of our ancestors...

By abandoning your original mustaches, you have given up the mustaches. I am sorry, puny mortal, but your fate is slotted with the penguins.

Ewe... Gross.

My Penguins are not undead. I checked through each one just to be sure. What you are seeing is a leftover of some Penguins that were sent out to thank EndMaster for the Trophy and they never returned... (I guess we now know why).

So Endmaster turned them into zomies and sent them back?

Lies. Though, my informants are telling me that I am slowly winning the battle. 

Your informants are lying to you

And of course I just sit up here on the moon, toiling away at another abomination...

This is troubling.

Sorry for the false alarm everyone. I just ascended into forum godhood.

I see you have.

Oh, great mustashio! will you grant us hairy powers?

HAHAHAHA I have no fear of the undead because no undead could kill golems with their fists or bite stone. I don't care for this war Block of the Entrances!!!

And what about the bonecasters?

Bonecasters can try all they want, They are no match for plasma and laser rifle plus to close stone face.

....... I wonder if you have ever paid attention to the war. A single penguin could destroy a golem with a touch of it's flipper. (Can't use a mustache as an example since it's power is indescribable)

....... I wonder if you have ever paid attention to the war. A single penguin could destroy a golem with a touch of it's flipper bitch slap. (Can't use a mustache as an example since it's power is indescribable)

(That's better)

I'm neutral so why would they care about some people living under ground?

Since Penguins are chaotic evil, and love spreading mayhem to all? :P You do realize that there is no such thing as neutral in war. 

I'm not a arms dealer I dot know what your talking about... Still my gate to another dimension is almost complete I will have no need for either this war or world. I'm not going to come back to kill all of you.

Neither do I, hugo. I have no idea how not being an arm dealer changes the fact that BZ will attack you. :P

And the Ice faction just sit back and laughed at all of this. 

You laugh at the fact that I am now God of Hair? That is a very foolish thing to do.

As I have explained I shut down all entrances have been shut down with impenetrable ray shields and over ten feet of metal.

Unfrotunatley, that leaves you extremely defensless in a number of aspects....

Like

Blocked from sight due to evil plan

On my iPod can't read that but all my cities and tunnels are lined with ray shields and titanium but haha my portal is complete good by people! And no the chamber it is in has all the defenses and I left no guns schematics or armor outside.

Even a god couldn't get in.

MWHAHAHAHAHA. Foolish mortal, a god doesn't require entry to destroy. 

Except for me, since I'm the one who first discovered dimension jumping (You're screwed Hugo, I'm coming for you)

Nooo that's not why I was laughing. I would never laugh at your st.... I mean glorious mustachehood.

Then I shall not cause destruction on your puny clan of ice.

Ha my deminsion stands alone and the only entrance was just blown up and buried by a nuclear bomb and 3 tons of uranium. 

And in SFOLB you tricky little son of a gun.

DIMENSIONS DO NOT HAVE PHYSICAL ENTRANCES. GET YOUR IMAGINARY FACTS STRAIGHT HUGO.

No no no you  misunderstood  my machine hat created the portal to my lovely dimension created the only portal and I blew up the machine

Yes but he can easily create a new one. 

shhhhhhhhhh, don't tell him, not yet. My new portal leads directly into his bedroom.

That's not creepy at all. 

Just a little bit, wait until you find out what I sent there

   http://www.celluloiddreams.co.uk/images/thething2.jpg

Yeah, that literally looks like something that would be sent by you or Alvin into Silver bedroom. :P

Actually it would be more like this 

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/sherlockbondage.jpg

At least for Alvin

I will simply record the history of the overworld from the sidelines. I mean< cough cough>

Mouhahahaha the world will burn to cinders. I shall collect your souls in the depts of hell!

Hrmrm God i hate doing that voice!

*Glares at Drak*

*winks back*

*Shoots a yellow in his face*

*Dies of disgust* *Worst color ever*

*laughs*

*The thing dies as he sees a stone golem wearing pajamas with little ducks on them.* HAHAHAHA ducky's for he win.

*Also sticks tongue out*

*envelops body in hair, and drags Drak into Hair Hell*

*Throws the nasty yellow sticking onto his face into hari hell. Aman is now blonde*

I'm so sorry

*NOOO!!

Aman immediately takes his hair dye, and dyes his hair to the correct color again. 

*Cracks up*

*Sticks tongue out*

*Shoots a yelllow rock this time*

*Gets knocked out*

*wakes up in the same position as sherlock holmes in above post*

*looks to silver*

*What are you doing silver?*

That Shelock Holmes movie was simply atrocious. 

Bah, you simply cannot appreciate the awesomness of slow-motion calculating fight scenes (I mean, yeah the books and the movies were completely different, and the books much better from a technical point of view, but as a simple movie (with no book affiliation) the sherlock holmes movies were pretty good)

right because the movie was soooo good ;)

It causes me pain to even affiliate the movie with the books. 

They should never ruin masterpieces like Sherlock Holmes with some crap catered to Americans who want to see shit blow up. :P

Aren't you american?

Not an American who wants to see shit blow up, :P

I assume you only mean in movies like the one sherlock holmes was meant to be, but wasn't, because making shit blow up is incredibly fun in real life.

of course. I don't enjoy watching a film meant for mystery focused on shit blowing up, but watching shit blow up IRL is awesome. 

I've only read the young Sherlock Holmes and I agree

The young Sherlock Holmes? What kind of atrocities have they done to the greatest detective ever?

It gave him the backstory of being an orphan on the street solving crimes and making his mind into a cold analytical machine.

Sounds like tortuous garbage trying to make Sherlock into a sympathetic character instead of the true awesomeness that he is. 

No if anything it makes him look like a cold bastard he broke a girls heart to become a detective and turned down sex!!

Oh, then it isn't as bad as it sounds. Thought it was meant to portray Sherlock as some poor person screwed over by fate. Which would of been bullshit. :P

Well in the first book it did screw him over by killing his mother. But he denied goin into an orphanage instead he solved his mothers murder.

I may need to read that series then. 

It's pretty good so far I've read two books. *spoiler alert he bitch slaps the guy who killed his mom*

I'll be E l s e w h e r e for most of this war unfortunately.

Do me a favor and annihilate any undead penguins you find - they give me the creeps.

(I only allow normal, everyday, nothing to worry about, good old fashion, cute as a button, won't even steal your wallet while you sleep, even though they like to stare at you while you breathe, ... penguins in my employ.)

So, once again -

1. I'll probably miss most of this war.

2. Not even interested in undead horde penguins.

3. Aman has leprosy.

Enjoy          !

(in regards to the leprosy thing, that's a just plain gossip) I hope somebody catches the reference. 

Right every rumor has a grain of truth in the center.

I'm starting a rumor about hugo23:

-----> Hey, did you hear? Hugo23 is really a thirteen year old Peruvian girl with a cart full of turnips.

Let's see you drag a 'grain of truth' out of that one hehehe... 

Well, he's 13. Actually I think he's 12

Then does that mean that Aman is pro (leprosy... le-PRO-sy) :p

Screw you guys I'm a 14 year old male that hates turnips.

but are you peruvian?

You said that you were a twelve year old 2 months ago.

No and where I am not Peruvian I said I believe I fell in love with these type of books at twelve.

So you at least own a cart, right?

EVERYONE owns a cart BZ. It's just that some cover it with mustache hair (like my cart) and some cover it with rainbows. 

Mine has a blower and duel exhaust.

Mine is a bike.

I don't have just any cart, I have a golf-cart that is naturally on fire! :D

*Spaceship finally passes close enough to the Earth again.*

Oh... Undead penguin's! This should be fun. :D 

*Set's ship to land in South Africa. Deploys robotic flame-thrower troops to capture as many undead penguins as possible.*

As you can see in the map below, My forces have engaged several undead penguins just outside BerkaZerka's influence and my landing area. Strangely no minions of Endmaster's have been sighted...

(Yes I took the time to make this. xD)

(win?)

Nice Mapage!

And fire is good - just don't melt all my ice...

Or mine!

if this war gets any worse i am picking sides with berka because he has endmaster on his side and a necromancer never loses.

Join my side! We are the ancients and don't get involved with the petty squabbles of mere people/animals/things!

i don't see how that is an option seeing as I no matter how badass i am i am still a human.

Meh I might send some spys to look at the war but I'm neutral don't even think about killing me endmaster I didn't do anything!!

not siding with the endmaster is as bad as being an enemy all hail the Great Lich Lord

Your just the fools who think he'll kill you last have you even read necromancer? Me I stay out of his way running around underground until I can sail away.

Better hope you're a naturally talented musician.

Most of you are not qualified to become an ancient any way. 

you cannot stop the lich lord joining him will delay your death if you are loyal.

Am I qualified? I have besides I believe in the last war me and endmaster worked out a agreement. Since his death magic does not work on stone golems what would be the point if invading me? You would quite literally have to ge us down to the size of pebbles and get through our armor, tech and guns!!

^That or he could hire out other groups to kill you. Oh and his undead can use magic alongside tech, they may be stupid but they have a Chessmaster-Lich-God leading them...

Anyway's I think I might move my ship back into orbit, a lot more zombie-penguin's are showing up and they somehow took over one of my Battle-Mech's. The most recent Battle-map is below.

I noticed three things as soon as the zombie-penguin's swarmed in.

1. They are more or less ignoring the normal penguin's.

2. There are way to many of them to not be made with a purpose in mind! 

and 3. The penguin's have built wall's and gate's after I landed. Not sure if that mean's anything...

Galobtter asks his sodiers in the Congo Rainforest to move south to take everybody by surprise.

Hugo sends his drones into to napalm the undead penguins near fireplay

You sure about that? I'm already in trouble for bringing in flamethrowers so close to Berka's outpost here. Dropping napalm on him won't exactly make you his best friend.

-:Storymode On:- Suddenly Galobtter's soldiers were intercepted during the march to south africa by a strange creature leading an army of zombies. It seems that the zombies have expanded quite a bit further than anyone realized. 

Thus did the first battle between the Undead Penguin's (+ creature) and the gorrilia's begin... -:Storymode end:-

 Sorry about the "Fog of War". It seems one of my minion's downloaded a "Fog of War" mod, put it in the mainframe and put a password on it. Anyway's it seems Galobtter's soldiers are under attack by some strange creature and a large number of Zoguin's. 

Eh he wouldn't like me anyway besides didnt he say he didn't like the undead penguins. 

Story game mode

hey why are fighting over on of my entrances I like that entrance close it off.

Galobtter commands his soldiers to steal guns and plow the undead. The creature he sends a armada of gorrillas who shoot like hell and mash its skull.

Not through my ray shield bitch say hello to my little friend grenade launcher any who approach the entrance.

Im not even attacking you!

Wrong map, You sent the napalm to the original battlefield in South-Africa, your attack has obviously made the penguin's angry and they are shooting down the ships you sent.

The battle's a little different since I am leaving; abandoning some of my troops due to the zombie swarm. I am sadden by their loss...  But here's an updated scan of the area. :)

Anyway's My scanner also shows  that the creature Galobtter encountered has somehow taken over a few of your gorrilia's and is retreating with it's new minions. It also seems that parts of the land is corrupted as well. I do like your new tank's though. Updated Map of the battle.

    Also happy to report that I was able to remove the "Fog of War" mod and punish the minion responsible. :)

Gorillas? I have golems and those are drones I an build more.

Galobtter uses his soothing and covincing voice to make the troops taken to suddenly surprise the creature and its minions while he attacks them with his gorrillas. He calls for 95 percent of the troops from amazon rainforest, where there are 20 times more troops.

The ancients continue laughing in there overworld. 

har der har what do you guys do? I mean your invincible and stuff but what do you do just sit there like a fag?

We watch and might elevate someone to our level and if we feel the need we might interfere.   

Also, fag is a degrading term and you should not use it to insult someone.

(which had happened to me for a couple minutes. :P)

Your last line doesnt make sense. When you insult, dont you want to deride?

It's like calling someone a c**t. You just don't say it. 

Calling someone a cigarrete is like calling someone a c**t? :P

....... 

I think you use the emoticon :P too much. :P

psst here

:{P better? 

Yeah, I realized that, just hoping you'd realize the fact that it is still offensive. You could just say that calling someone a c**t is just  calling them a car as well. 

I dont think you got my joke.

When you joke about something offensive like that, it isn't funny. 

I was making light of the moment.

Which is faux pas on your part. 

I didnt know we people followed social ettiqutte. We are all crazy.

So? A joke is okay when it's about something ridiculous, but certain jokes are incredibley offensive. I doubt you'd enjoy it if we made fun of Indians.(not that cool is gay, but the term shouldn't be used as an insult)

K.

Don't anger the ancients!!!

fine be that way... I believe the ancients just like being so "powerful" just to sit back and laugh at it all like endmaster

I don't know enough about the ancients but Endmaster is a Multi-verse traveling Lich-God of Death. He also owns a Inn known as Miners Mug. :)

Beside's Endmaster is working on his "Eternal" project so he has a valid excuse to not participate in the war. 

We are so powerful we could crush the earth with our minds. You are like ants to us. We have no reason to kill or harm you but for fun we might or just to get rid of a pest. 

Okay then

 I'm not building a machine to turn me into the god of golems.

Story mode. 

Suddenly an army of about 1,000 wolfs come to the southern most part of South Africa on many ice platforms. They seem to be lead by a woman in a long and flowy ice blue dress, wearing a crown made of nothing but the clearest and brightest of ice. "On ward my wolves." She says "we will take a small town to rest ourselves. Then on to conquer!!"

everybody by a lute and learn how to play it very well. It seems to be the only thing that wards off the undead.

Well In the story blessed arrows and a war hammer seemed to do the job.

my crossbow only takes normal arrows. However they work against the undead too

You know what else works? Anything that can bash a head in 

yeah sure see how well that plan works out for you

Yeah my 12 gauge shotgun and buck knife and huge wooden bat with bad ass written on it will help me in that case.

this crossbow has kept me alive for three seasons your argument is invalid

What seasons? My shotgun has kept me alive for years

THE WALKING DEAD

(TV Show, the best zombie-related one in existence (my opinion, also it's true))

My stache pushed me into a show I wasn't supposed to be in. MWHAWHAHAHAHA. 

.... What's the walking dead?

Just kill yourself right now. 

It's not so much that I want you to die, it's just that you don't deserve to live right now. And you shouldn't want to either.

I'm kidding though I didn't know it existed until the end of the second season. currently online I am on season 2 episode 3

Can I weigh in? (Doesn't wait for an answer)  Most zombie shows I've seen are very impractical. The best I've ever seen was Warm Bodies. It's not a series but a romance and horror film definitely wiped out most of the other shows. 

I loved warm bodies. Most zombie shows always show there is no hope unless you kill every single zombie before it gets to you. It was nice to see a different approach to things for once. 

I haven't seen it but to be realistic the only thing I've seen that could be semi true in case of an actual zombie apocolaypse would be the walking dead. Because honestly how would they build a giant wall and why go out of the wall?

To get supplies, to find a possible cure. Or find weapons to kill the zombies so you or your descendants can eventually live like normal agian. 

 all other zombie shows don't have Darryl Dixon so they are not nearly as good as the walking dead 

He is a hill billy and got lost in the woods for days then made a sandwich.

nine days

With an itchy ass from posion ivy. People laughed

>.>

<.<

*skitter....

Angry mob approaches...

"Kill the Penguin Fraud! Kill him!"