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Sneak Preview, anyone?

11 years ago

I have decided I have enough of my storygame done, to give you fine ladies and gents a sneak preview. 

http://chooseyourstory.com/story/after-dark

Sneak Preview, anyone?

11 years ago

Reply to this post. 

EDIT: JUst realized I edit locked myself. 

Sneak Preview, anyone?

11 years ago

Two questions:

How long have you been working on this?

Were you trying to use pictures?

Sneak Preview, anyone?

11 years ago

No. This is my second day. Why? 

Sneak Preview, anyone?

11 years ago

There is an awkward gap between the text and the links, so I assumed you had a picture there that didn't work. You should fix that.

Sneak Preview, anyone?

11 years ago

Okay. Is it all right, though? 

Sneak Preview, anyone?

11 years ago

Pretty good. I noticed a spelling error here and there, but nothing much. Can't wait for the whole thing to be finished. :)

Sneak Preview, anyone?

11 years ago

The writing workshop subforum is over here.

There's no apostrophe in God-Knows-Where...

*plays* Seems solid so far. Nice change from zombies. ^_^

Sneak Preview, anyone?

11 years ago

Thank you! *pelvic thrust* 

(It's mah happy dance) 

Sneak Preview, anyone?

11 years ago

I do like the idea, but I have a few things to say.

Not the best writing in the world. Weird, awkward to describe creatures. Awkwardly arranged, somewhat cliche dialogue (really, there should be more than just a sentence or two of dialogue). Also, how does he manage to push the door open after you push your couch in front of it.

Still, it's a refreshing concept. I think it will be a whole lot better when it's finished. Good job so far.

Sneak Preview, anyone?

11 years ago
The only immediate problem: too easy to die quickly. Always put an end game link at least 15 pages in for each path. It makes the story seem linear if your end game link is two pages in.