How to protect your personal information online

Hello everyone! While chooseyourstory.com is a fun place to share your work, the fact is that anybody who's been in the forums knows full well that people on this site can be... well, vicious. From slurs of all kinds to mocking of real life situations, the fact is that gleeful maliciousness is a favorite pastime for many CYStians. However, as brutal as some of these insults can be, there really is an unspoken agreement to keep it on the website and affiliated platforms (i.e. Discord). At the end of the day, if you're too soft to hang, you should at least have the ability to log out and carry on with your life. 

However, recent events both on and off the website, not to mention both sides of the political climate gleefully doxxing each other, have made it more necessary to protect your privacy online. So I figured: who better than the guy who has had family photos and his own address released to warn you all how to protect your identity?

Tip #1: Do not give out any personal information.

I know what you're thinking. "The guy who uses his real name as his username is gonna lecture me on keeping info private?" I was a sheltered 18 year old when I made this account, and unfortunately I was not aware of the dangers of being on the internet. I thought being online was as safe as being in person and that people only used usernames that weren't their names "cause they could" or "cause it was cool." If my parents had bothered to run me through a basic safety lesson, a lot of my personal information that is unfortunately public knowledge on CYS would not be there. That's actually why I'm writing this article, in the hopes that someone will read it before making an account and avoid my mistake.

So, the advice. Well for starters, do not give out your own name, much less make it your username. If you're going to talk about where you live, make sure you say as little as possible. Try and keep it to the country and state you live in rather than the actual city. This will make it harder for people to find you. For example, finding someone is a lot easier when you know the city they live in, since you know the county and therefore can look up civil records, criminal records, find their address through voter ID records (if they are over 18 and their state has one of these things. The less information someone has about you, the less likely they are to find you.

Now, if you've been regularly talking to the person for a good stretch of time (I would recommend at least a couple of years) and you trust them, then by all means go for it! Just be careful and use good judgement.

Tip #2: Be selective when you share images.

Many people here have shared real life pictures of themselves on Discord. Many people here have posted artwork, pictures of their animals, ect. If you are going to share pictures, be cautious about if these photos are elsewhere. It's fine to share something from your camera roll, or a family photo album. But if these photos are publicly available on social media sites, online yearbooks, ect. Then using a good search engine (or even just Google photos) could make it easier for a person to track you down.
 

Even posting a picture you drew on Discord that you shared to a public Facebook group could lead someone right back to your Facebook account, giving them access to your name, birthday, city of residence, friends, family... the list goes on. Please use discretion. If you're going to share the same picture across multiple platforms, please at least change the settings on your social media platforms so that only friends or private individuals can see them, thereby making it more difficult for search engines that rely on public data to match the two.

Tip #3: Be wary when someone wants to meet in person.

This next tip is perhaps the most important, and is here for a very good reason that is not my story to tell. What I can say is that if someone is eager to meet with you in person, you should be cautious every step of the way. Have a friend with you, and if someone is going to be staying in the city you're in while hanging out with you, try and help them find a hotel room if at all possible. Only offer to put them up in your home if you absolutely know and trust the person. Remember, meeting your online friends IRL is a huge step in trust, and opening your home to them is the biggest one. Regardless of how much you may look forward to seeing them, or else feel for their situation, always put yourself first.
 

Aside from CYS, cases like the Craigslist Killer, personal stories I've heard from female friends who went on a blind date with a stranger and were harmed, and even news articles all show us that meeting with someone you don't know can be dangerous. And while we all seem to know about stranger danger, the current dynamic of interacting online, having what we want when we want at the touch of a finger... it seems to have caused many of us, especially the younger generations, to have dropped their guard. Please, always be safe and alert.

As someone who has participated in many CYS-related Discord servers (although unfortunately not the "official" one) I can confirm that interaction with your fellow CYStians on other chat apps can be a different yet enriching experience. A way to have fun and interact with your peers in ways that cannot be easily replicated on CYS itself.

However, I strongly recommend you keep a few things in mind. One, we have a previous moderator, Kiel_Farren, who used Skype to engage in unacceptable activity with minors. Two, we have had several members doxxed in efforts that were coordinated on Discord by former fellow CYStians. Three, when you are on an outside webpage, the moderators may try their best to help, but it is more difficult for them to keep an eye on the situation.

Example, a member sending inappropriate messages on CYS would be caught fairly quickly if there were complaints, while a harasser on Discord could easily scrub or delete evidence, or dispute screenshots. When joining a Discord server or other social app, pay attention to how many other CYStians are members and who they are. A chat that has ten CYStians from all backgrounds is more likely to be safer than one run by an adult with three members who are all middle schoolers.

Also be extremely wary of private messaging others on any topic you wouldn't feel comfortable sharing on a public forum.

If there is content or a way you are being spoken to that you do not feel comfortable with, please remember that you do not have to continue interacting with it, and that befriending victims while also isolating them is a common tactic among predators and doxxers. If anything feels "off" to you, it is much better to disengage and tell people what you experienced. It is possible they may have insight you do not, and someone interested in violating your privacy may have a history of doing this with others.

Also, while this is unrelated to the site: stay far away from Roblox. My daughter used to have an account, and I made one as well so I could spend time with her on the game rooms there, since her and I live in different cities and we often can't see each other in person. The amount of people who have had the audacity to attempt to have her enter a private room or contact them on apps like Discord or Telegram were unfortunately numerous enough we had to have her delete her account.

Tip #5: If you are uncomfortable, tell someone!

Sometimes, you try to be as nice as you can be and say no, and the person just DYING to be on a first name basis with their internet bestie can't get the hint. Or maybe someone is making you uncomfortable with their insistence on meeting you, or keeps sending you disturbing messages and them downplaying it when you ask them to stop, and then keep going.

Look, I'll say it: our moderators are some of the main ones throwing slurs around here, and they commend those who can do so creatively. They can come off at times as the complete opposite of someone you would trust, especially if they seem as if they don't like you (or actually don't like you).

But please believe me when I tell you this: it does not matter if the mods on this site think that you're a perfect example of why it should be legal to abort someone even in adulthood, and write a 5,000 page story about how being a stain on the mattress when your dad pulled out should've been the beginning and the end of your existence. If you are in a state of concern or even fear. If someone is attempting to glean information about your real life circumstances after you've asked them to stop. And ESPECIALLY if someone has doxxed you and procured information about you without your knowledge or consent. They will help you.
 

Nobody here genuinely wants you to be harmed in real life, even if they wish you'd permanently get off the website. They will take action to speak to the offender, especially after said harasser had the audacity to ignore your requests. There is nothing I've seen in my eleven years on the site that will earn more vitriol from the community than being a real life creep. Between Kiel grooming children and certain members violating personal boundaries in real life interactions, nobody here has the patience for someone who can't respect the privacy and safety of another person.

So remember: keep your info private, use good judgment, and always speak out when you feel unsafe. 

I will go ahead and throw in some last minute advice here: while the moderators and community at large care about the members of this site, there is a significant difference between uncomfortable harassment and someone calling you a mean name in the forums. While the mods will be swift in their response to sexual harassment and other violations of personal boundaries, complaining cause one of the members called you a fag will likely get you laughed at and called some more slurs. The concept of discernment applies here too. If it's something you can avoid by logging out and keeping your head down for a couple weeks, probably just ignore it.