hetero_malk, The Capybaliph
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"In normal times a mad man like Malk would have been hanged for his crimes. However in this time of darkness mad men can reach positions of great power" - EndMaster
"Malk probably wrote this whole fucking story while his pasty unhealthy ass was shitting on the fucking toilet. He should be the poster child that the Ugandan preachers point to when they’re preaching to their population of 'Do not eat the poo poo.'
I’m fucking serious, that’s like ALL he fucking talks about at the secret villain lair. That he’s going to shit, how he’s going to shit, what it felt like to shit and when he’s going to be shitting next.
Fuck bran muffins, this guy is eating raw fucking twine if he’s shitting this much." - EndMaster
Joined: 7/18/2014
A list of my achievements:
Achievement Unlocked: Questionable Parentage (10)
Achievement Unlocked: Not Mine (-10)
Achievement Unlocked: Uganda’s Most Wanted (60)
Achievement Unlocked: Begging For The Abyss (-300)
Achievement Unlocked: Lord of the Edge (200)
Achievement Unlocked: 1st Black Crusade (200)
Trophies Earned
Storygames
Entry into EndMaster's 2024 Prompt Contest!
The Faceless Knights uphold divine law, crushing mutation and degeneracy whenever they encounter it. When the young lord of a recently-conquered territory calls for a true servant of God, you must answer.
This game has a sequel.
A short, silly, high-octane ride through a cyberpunk future where your bullets are few, your friends are fewer, and the long tentacles of the law are slithering up your pant legs.
I am aware that technically, writing a sentence in all capital letters is gramatically incorrect. I did this on purpose, several times, for stylistic effect. If you point this out in the reviews, a team of hit-apes will kick in your door.
Winner of EndMaster's 2024 Crisis Contest!
This is a sequel to A Prayer for Destruction. It is highly recommended that you read that work before beginning this one.
The North, that frozen-over land of fanatics and heathens, has suffered a great and mysterious calamity. The Sultan bids you raise your banners and ride in his name to investigate.
Winner of EndMaster's 2020-2021 Grimdark Contest!
Take the role of Lord Winter, an aspiring sorcerer and the scion of a noble line that has fallen into obscurity.
Contains scenes of intense gore, brutality, and sexual violence.
Cover art by the talented MadHattersDaughter.
"Death is struck and nature quaking;
All creation is awaking,
To its Judge an answer making.
Lo, the book, exactly worded,
Wherein all hath been recorded;
Thence shall judgment be awarded.
When the Judge His seat attaineth,
And each hidden deed arraigneth,
Nothing unavenged remaineth."
-- Dies Irae
Ultimately, the fate of life is to destroy itself.
Note: This was adapted with express permission from a friend's "Creative Nonfiction" project for ENG223: Journalism in the 21st Century at Toronto Metropolitan University. Footnotes added by me to add clarity when needed.
this is so fucking stupid
Recent Posts
Best Tolkien reference in The Elder Scrolls on 10/29/2024 9:52:28 AMThis is how I can tell you don't know shit about the world. MLP fans are usually right wing Christian men for some baffling reason
I MAKED THIS IS. IS IT TERRIBLE? on 10/28/2024 3:14:18 PM
Keep writing!
Tbh this is a very teenage conception of love but that's okay, we were all teenagers. The real problem is that this is dialogue without plot, character, context, stakes, drama, or any of the other things that cause people to read stories. So while it's not terrible like you were worried, it can't be good, because there's not really anything going on here.
Aphrodite's Orphan: Updated Version on 10/21/2024 1:18:18 AM
Very nice. I'll have to take a look. It's been a couple years since I've re-read. Unbelievably cool game
YourArmyCompanion Alt Whining on 10/18/2024 11:09:00 PM
Hey YourArmyCompanion, stick to one account retard
Eikas - chill cooking IF on 10/17/2024 2:05:13 PM
I like the idea that you've set your shop up in the town where Vito Spatafore ends up after fleeing Jersey
Useless Retarded CoGite Faggot Whining on 10/14/2024 11:46:58 PM
Bingo
Useless Retarded CoGite Faggot Whining on 10/14/2024 11:34:29 PM
"we"
Useless Retarded CoGite Faggot Whining on 10/14/2024 11:17:42 PM
No one's "in charge" here, we have a custodial staff of volunteer oldheads who occasionally ban people because it's funny. In any case, cesspit or not, we like it the way it is and you're a literally who with a day old account.
Also, this site predates CoG by about a decade.
Am I racist? on 10/9/2024 2:29:51 PM
I was instructed to come into this thread and tell you to kill yourself, and I am a loyal soldier who follows orders. So here it is:
kys fgt
Avery's Animations on 10/7/2024 10:16:21 PM
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhoticity_in_English