hetero_malk, The Capybaliph

Member Since


Last Activity

5/19/2024 12:53 AM

EXP Points


Post Count


Storygame Count


Duel Stats

3 wins / 6 losses


Marauder Exemplar



"In normal times a mad man like Malk would have been hanged for his crimes. However in this time of darkness mad men can reach positions of great power" - EndMaster 

"Malk probably wrote this whole fucking story while his pasty unhealthy ass was shitting on the fucking toilet. He should be the poster child that the Ugandan preachers point to when they’re preaching to their population of 'Do not eat the poo poo.'

I’m fucking serious, that’s like ALL he fucking talks about at the secret villain lair. That he’s going to shit, how he’s going to shit, what it felt like to shit and when he’s going to be shitting next.

Fuck bran muffins, this guy is eating raw fucking twine if he’s shitting this much." - EndMaster

Joined: 7/18/2014

A list of my achievements: 

Achievement Unlocked: Questionable Parentage (10)

 Achievement Unlocked: Not Mine (-10)

Achievement Unlocked: Uganda’s Most Wanted (60)

Achievement Unlocked: Begging For The Abyss (-300) 

Achievement Unlocked: Lord of the Edge (200) 


Trophies Earned

Earning 100 Points Earning 500 Points Earning 1,000 Points Earning 2,000 Points Earning 5,000 Points You're an inspiration to Capybaras everywhere. Also your writing’s better than ever. Not only just an inspiration to capybaras, but humans as well. Standard-bearer. For winning the 2021 Edgelord 2 Contest Having 2 Storygame(s) Featured Given by BerkaZerka on 02/27/2021 - Magnificent Modding In The Face of Retarded Fury Given by EndMaster on 03/09/2021 - For rising above and beyond your humble beginnings Given by Mizal on 05/14/2024 - For the Capybaliphate's many contributions to the site and community. (but mostly the monkeys) Given by ninjapitka on 12/29/2022 - A tribute to your raw talent we all envy


Featured Story A Prayer for Destruction

Entry into EndMaster's 2024 Prompt Contest! 

The Faceless Knights uphold divine law, crushing mutation and degeneracy whenever they encounter it. When the young lord of a recently-conquered territory calls for a true servant of God, you must answer. 


A short, silly, high-octane ride through a cyberpunk future where your bullets are few, your friends are fewer, and the long tentacles of the law are slithering up your pant legs. 

I am aware that technically, writing a sentence in all capital letters is gramatically incorrect. I did this on purpose, several times, for stylistic effect. If you point this out in the reviews, a team of hit-apes will kick in your door. 

HIGH OCTANE ALL CAPS PRIMATE MADNESS From the creator of CYBERMONKEY, the genre defining cult classic that got the author EXCOMMUNICATED from the IFDB! Entered into EndMaster's 2021 Manifest Destiny contest in the last moments before the bombs fell.

Featured Story Winter, After the Harvest

Winner of EndMaster's 2020-2021 Grimdark Contest!

Take the role of Lord Winter, an aspiring sorcerer and the scion of a noble line that has fallen into obscurity. 

Contains scenes of intense gore, brutality, and sexual violence. 

Cover art by the talented MadHattersDaughter.

A Man Flayed


"Death is struck and nature quaking;
All creation is awaking,
To its Judge an answer making.
Lo, the book, exactly worded,
Wherein all hath been recorded;
Thence shall judgment be awarded.
When the Judge His seat attaineth,
And each hidden deed arraigneth,
Nothing unavenged remaineth."

-- Dies Irae

Ultimately, the fate of life is to destroy itself.

Brothers of the Breaking Dawn

Slayer of Men

Spear of Flint, Sword of Bronze

Strange Occurrences in my Family

Note: This was adapted with express permission from a friend's "Creative Nonfiction" project for ENG223: Journalism in the 21st Century at Toronto Metropolitan University. Footnotes added by me to add clarity when needed. 

Turd Midas

this is so fucking stupid

Recent Posts

my school crush on 4/30/2024 10:04:18 AM

Ah, that ruins it for me a bit. I was hoping they just got summarily executed for terrible writing 

my school crush on 4/30/2024 1:20:35 AM

I love that this post was so gay that the author was banned immediately 

WWE Tier List on 4/27/2024 4:40:37 PM

Kill yourself in minecraft 

CYS History (THE TRUTH) on 4/26/2024 11:11:29 PM

Who would want to be? 

FAVORITE WORDS OF CYS on 4/18/2024 5:59:03 PM

@EndMaster Darius just suggested that you're a faggot for tagging yourself, are you just gonna take that?

Fallout TV Show on 4/18/2024 10:52:14 AM

Yeah this show rocked. I liked it way more than any of the Bethesda Fallouts, loved all the NV references.

It's interesting people are mad at the Mojave seemingly getting peckersmacked when the Vegas DLCs kind of imply that the Mojave is fucked because of the Tunnelers. Ulysses seems to think that it's only a matter of time before the Strip becomes a buffet for weird underground lizard guys 

FAVORITE WORDS OF CYS on 4/18/2024 9:26:29 AM

You're the biggest faggot any of us know, so End was consulting you for your expertise 

making a good game on 4/17/2024 10:46:58 PM

I would LOVE to co author your game 

How to make choices matter? on 4/14/2024 12:50:49 AM

The best way to make your game feel interactive is to give the audience the chance to meaningfully develop the protagonist in different and mutually exclusive ways. A story, basically, is the process by which a character becomes a different person. This has been almost all stories, since we started telling them. The Epic of Gilgamesh is one of the first written documents available to us (relatively speaking) -- it's about a gigachad demigod who learns to stop stealing people's wives and accept his own mortality. A story requires change in its protagonist otherwise it sucks fucking ass.  

In the medium of interactive fiction, the audience gets to choose what path the character takes, obviously. What that really means is they get to pick between two stories. From Paragraph 1, we have learned that a story is really just a journey a character goes on that changes them in some way. So a meaningful choice should offer the player the ability to set the protagonist off on completely different directions; they should be doing different stuff, and becoming a different kind of person. These options must be different from each other, so as not to bore the audience with recycled content, and they need to be mutually exclusive. That means that the possibilities offered by one choice must be closed off forever to the protagonist - that's what gives the choice weight and meaning. You should read Eternal by EndMaster for a really textbook and excellent execution of what I'm talking about here; the protagonist of Eternal is a radically different kind of character at the end of every ending. 

The Movie Thread on 4/13/2024 1:19:00 AM

Saw Anatomy of a Fall. Super cool movie with basically only perfect performances all around. Makes it even weirder that that fucking lightweight Emma Stone cinched the Oscar. Gonna watch Killers of the Flower Moon next probably