A Jung Hero's Adventure

This game, with all its clever themes and references, pulling from deeply complex concepts, does not quite achieve its aim. The game seems to rely on the reader already being at least passingly familiar with Jung. When a character is representing a psychological concept, it is stated as such in the game notes, with no explanation of the meaning or importance of those concepts.

If a reader is already highly familiar with said psychological concept, then he or she likely doesn't need to be told that that's what is being represented. However, someone who won't recognize it, needs more detail in order for the lesson to become substantial. This occurs frequently. So I ask, who is the intended audience for this story?

Instead of just being told what certain characters represent, it would be a masterstroke if through the course of narrative and well written dialogue readers were presented with opportunities to come to those understandings, or gain a feeling for what they might mean, by their own cognition. At that point the game notes could attach the designated name to the concept, and explain its significance.

In an effort to only outline Jung's concepts, the story and pacing are rushed and turns of narrative are abrupt. Most foreshadowing is either totally absent or entirely overt, character's were largely undeveloped, and editing was disastrous.

The atmosphere was really well done. The world's lore was clearly carefully thought out, and even skillfully fleshed out over the course of this storygame. That is the very reason why I wish so much that the writing of this story had been given more time. I want more time in the school. There was so much opportunity to look into how such interactions in that environment plays out, not just in the general broad brush, but concerning social interaction and for the individual.

More could have been done considering the implications of home life. More could have been explained as to how the Health Department works. We could have seen relatives and family friends. What do social gatherings look like?

I wish I had real consequential choices to make during the course of the story. This "entertainment" was fine...but I wanted a little more "suffering," you know?

A very intriguing method of exploring Jung's theories within the oddly appropriate trapings of a Bladerunner-esque dystopian future reality.

Admittedly, from a glancing perspective at least, it appears that this piece could have done with a tighter focus on the titular Jungian concepts, with much of the story seeming to veer off into purely sci-fi territory.

However, as one starts to realize that most of the characters are representative of one Jungian archetype or another, & that their actions in the story and our responses serve to illustrate in a practical fashion the inter-relation of archetypes and the means by which they can be understood & overcome, one begins to appreciate the level of comprehension the author possesses with regards to Jungian theory.

To the author: Have you considered working with an editor to iron out any grammatical oversights? A work of this calibre is certainly deserving of some straightforward proof-reading, & there's no sense in you getting bogged down in details when you have important lessons to impart : )

Probably my favorite story so far, definitely brings me enlightenment! I had a look at a bit more background on Jung's theories!

Loved the philosophical meanings behind your story too, reminds me definitely of "Animal Farm", and "A Handmaid's Tale" (Margaret Atwood). Yeah, it's quite horrible to see an intended Utopia such as this actually being a Dystopia. The labelling of the "Cretins" also reminds me of eugenics.

Just a few downsides: you could try to shorten or leave spaces between paragraphs, as it quickly becomes tiring to read.

Well fuckity fuck, you’re a founder and this story is old and everyone seems to love it so much. Ignore my insolence.

If I see one more option to restart with no end game link, I will cry, and you can turn me in as a Cretan.
Some of the links were in all lowercase and some weren’t, with no apparent rhyme or reason behind it. Also, the teacher didn’t sound professional or even older than a raging 11 year old on CoD. So.
The story doesn’t really expand no matter what you do, and as far as I can tell there’s only one actual “ending”, kinda making it impossible to “choose” your story. Either die or don’t, wow.
Your writing isn’t trash but it isn’t good. If your account isn’t deleted yet (I have no clue how old this story is, but I’m assuming that since it’s still up it must be relatively new), then you have some work to do. Congrats on getting a game out there, now work on making it a good one.

A relic of an older time with an interesting plot, but extremely linear with a frustrating lack of End Game links.

very good, i loved how it was an analogy the whhole way through without being very hard to understand and still telling an amazing story

This game is an incredible frustration for me. The plot and setting is fascinating but the writing itself is a complete mess, very rough and rushed. It's one of the older games on the site and I suppose standards about proofreading and such were different then. I don't think a story like this could ever be featured today. It really is a shame this is unlikely to ever be cleaned up.

I got the good ending! My skills are impeccable.

Grammatical error bits were easy to pass over, but it was told rather quickly on parts of the story.... maybe flesh out some of it so it doesn't feel as if it moves abruptly at points.

Enjoyable and intriguing and disturbing environment! Well done on imagination!