Advantage

1. Very interesting story with a good plot. Also has pictures to entertain you as you read.
2. Not to difficult but also not to easy. Makes sure that you are always entertained throughout the story.
3. It is a nice length but is not to long. It makes sure that you don't get board with the story at any point in it.
4. The grammar and spelling is extremely good with only a few errors.
5. Overall I think it is a brilliant story and that you put lots of effort into it. Good job

7/8

I just wanted to say, before anything, I really liked this story for how much work you put into this. It's obvious from how much effort you put in; (The Extra Section shows that), that really added the extra point for me.

The story its self is a bit weak, a simple concept with simple solutions, but I felt like it really had a lot of promise to it. With how it goes from branch to branch, I liked the interactivity of it, this is definitely more of a storyGAME then a STORYgame. But, that isn't a bad thing! What really puts the story in a decent place for me, and not like a 4/5, is the art. The art really wraps up the somewhat lackluster in detail story, through its images. It's all of those things that really make the story quite a bit stronger. I also liked most of the characters, even though they were rather one-dimensional.

My biggest complaint, which kinda knocked off the two points for me, was that it had quite a few spelling errors in it (which is really minimal) and the fact there really isn't a lot of description going on. I don't feel like I REALLY could have gotten into the scene, but that might just be me.

Good work for a first story game on CYOA, really hope to see more good work from you!

This one is tough to rate fairly. Honestly, the story is pretty well done. It's a good mystery, not overly difficult, but also not too easy. There was a lot of detail involved in solving it. However, the typos were incredibly distracting. You really need to consider using an editing program or having a proofreader, because it wasn't just a couple mistakes here and there. Because of that, I have to give it a 5/8. But if there were less grammatical errors, it would be worth more points.

Exhausting, but worth it...

Like more than one user has said, there are quite a few grammatical errors in your story, but thankfully they weren't really a bother.

It's quite astounding to see the amount of effort you put into this storygame. The materials, the suspects, the circumstances, and the way how your findings connect to the real explanation as to how it all played out are well done. In fact, you even did an extra job of putting a "behind-the-scenes" link of sorts. You spent a lot of time making this, and I'm thoroughly satisfied with the results.

I do hope you continue this good work, and I also hope that when you do, your stories to come will be, like this one, worth every cent. 6/8.

This game was OK. But I had to give up. The case was impossible to solve. I hope you can!

I loved this story

It was a simple story with quite a few spelling and grammar errors but I enjoyed it anyway. Decent job for a first time. Keep at it and you'll only get better.

This was a fun mystery! :D

Still working on it. Enjoying it so far!

Wilson ended up annoying me so much that I just told him it shattered. His reaction and what happened after was priceless. Loved it.