CHOOSING TH NIGHT 1 chapter

The grammar alone makes me rate this a 2/8, but you just had to make it a 'demo' too, didn't you.

Extreme spelling errors, and NO DEMOS. Also really short. 3 choices and that's it...? Take some time on your games. Demo's are extremely tough to pull off.

NOT THE NAZI!

Don't publish demos.

No demos!

Like Will said, the subject matter would make for an interesting...well, 'experience', since I'd feel weird calling it a game, but in its current state this is pretty much unreadable. It's pretty bad when even the title is misspelled. If you don't take the presentation and the technical aspects seriously it harms the entire story by making it looks sloppy and careless. And even looking past the errors, 'chapter' stories rarely do well here, either, it's really preferred authors put up a complete story.

Keep in mind there's no rush and no deadline for publishing anything here and so when you next put something up, make sure you put in all the time and effort it deserves. There are lots of good articles on writing in the help section, and people on the forums are usually able to give good advice and feedback too. The internet is also full of free resources to help you get a better grasp of the basics and things like spelling, punctuation, and grammar.

Interesting topic material (I don't think the Holocause has been dealt with on this site before) handled in a fairly respectful way but the writing needs a lot of improvement: be sure to check for spelling errors, continuity ideas and other little things (where are the boys parents for example or did I miss them?). Oddly specific which suggests it was inspired by something which is always good to be inspired by what you read but ask parents or teachers to help proofread your writing to get it really good :D

The writing is bad and I want to make fun of this story, but...

>_> I'm part German. Hm.

Please do not release your story in chapters. Just write the entire thing and release it as one complete story.

As far as this goes, the grammar and punctuation were awful. It's like you didn't even try. Heck, you couldn't even be bothered to type your title correctly.

i tried