Detective 1: Blacksea Island
A
mystery / thriller
storygame by
Will11
Commended by mizal on 10/5/2018 11:18:48 AM
Player Rating
6.69/8
"#50
overall
, #5 for
2018
"
Based on
172 ratings
since 10/04/2018
Played 6,456 times (finished 202)
Story Difficulty
7/8
"Wade in shark infested water"
Play Length
4/8
"A well spent lunch break"
Maturity Level
4/8
"Need to be accompanied by an adult"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.
Tags
Female Protagonist
Part of Series
Previously Featured
Puzzle
Serious
The first in a new series of stories featuring the teenage amateur detective Susan Knox as the reader's character. Set in open world locations where the reader is free to choose where to look for clues, who to interview, what to ask and where the correct suspect, motive and murder method must be identified within a set time limit, this first story is set on the mysterious and notorious Blacksea Island whose history of insanity and death holds the secret to the unusual death of Knox's best friend...
I hope the reader enjoys my latest story.
Note: This story includes a few cases of naughty words (for example one of these words rhymes with "bunt", "punt" and "hunt" and isn't "runt") so those with delicate sensibilities, easily offended eyes or a nervous disposition should avoid this story to avoid mental distress, disorders or damaging derangements of dangerous and diabolical dimensions.
Finally I estimate this story would take roughly one hour to complete, give or take, and the reader might benefit from making notes or a map of the island, depending how good their memory is :)
Player Comments
DETECTIVE ONE: BLACKSEA ISLAND: 88%
SHOULD I READ THIS? Yes, especially if you like trying to solve the crime yourself while reading mystery books and watching mystery shows.
Preview: You travel around the island investigating different locales and asking questions of the suspects. As you uncover different pieces of evidence, you can work out who committed the crime, and how and why it was done, and then confront the killer.
=SPOILERS BELOW=
RATINGS:
Basic Plot & Coherence: 4/5
A well-formed tight murder mystery story. The killer has clear means, motive, and opportunity, and it’s up to the player to figure them out. The crime itself is relatively simple (and the killer’s motivations aren’t extremely logical), but the act of discovering them is what makes this game really worth it.
Each of the plot elements were distinct and satisfying. The story fits together extremely well, but retains a very expansive feel.
I liked the way the island’s history was integrated into the story. This background knowledge gave the fictional events a lot of depth, making the island seem like a very expansive place. The island like a place that could really exist, not just some place the author invented for the sole purpose of writing a mystery story. The history, while providing essential clues to the murder, also provided some nice red herrings. At the end, I was surprised to learn the extent to which the histories were true.
Characters & Development: 4/5
Each of the characters serve their purpose well, with each providing a slice of important information needed to solve the crime. The characters are all fairly two-dimensional, but this is understandable, given the nature of the story.
I suppose I didn’t think the killer’s motivations made a lot of sense. Also, they kind of just confess at the end, without have any real reason to do so. This is all pretty forgiveable however, as it gives the story a cinematic conclusion, allowing the player to win through the knowledge of the island they’ve gathered during their investigations.
Grammar: 5/5
No typos here!
Mastery of Language: 2/3
The language was direct and functional, which works well in a game like this, as it doesn’t unnecessarily distract the player. The opening scenes were more descriptive than the rest of the game, which was good, as it set the tone and did not distract from the mystery.
Mechanics & Coding: 5/5
I certainly didn’t notice any bugs.
On the one hand, I hate the time mechanic, on the other hand, I think it really contributed to the overall atmosphere of the work. I played this game with a sense of urgency, working in every way I could to limit the amount of time I spent walking around. I’ll grudgingly admit that the time mechanic served its purpose perfectly, and added to the game. Interestingly, I think that even though the player has plenty of time to visit everywhere they need to, the time mechanic is more narratively useful in the mood it imposes on the game, rather than in actually limiting the player’s options. The time mechanic was a good way to allow the player open-map exploration while also capping just how much sleuthing they can do.
Branching: 0/0 (Usually 3)
None, obviously, as this is essentially a murder mystery told in a nonlinear format. You either win, or you don't.
Player Options/fair choice: 2/2 (usually 3)
Pretty good. I felt like I had the options I wanted. The dialogue options were somewhat limited, but I felt like this added to the story rather than took away from it, as it left the player to do most of the thinking themselves, and removed unnecessary distractions.
Nitpicks:
Olivia Powell’s habit of wearing a kevlar vest under her clothes should have been foreshadowed. :)
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE:
I guessed correctly who the killer was very early in the story, but I’m the first to admit this guess was pure speculation and had no basis in fact. It wasn’t until later, after discovering more evidence, that I figured out the how and the why of the crime.
I really enjoyed this. I've read a few murder mysteries over the past week or so and enjoyed them, so I really appreciated having the chance to investigate one in a more active manner. This is an excellent work!
CONCLUSION: 22/25 = 88%
I’ll definately be playing the sequel!
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—
Gryphon
on 8/13/2021 2:55:15 PM with a score of 0
I missed reading classic mystery so this felt really nice. I've tried the hard mode first because I'm stuck-up and also believe in the power of the "GO BACK" button; luckily in the end it wasn't hard at all.
I understood the main gist of the story more or less halfway through, then checked some details and after talking to the right people I was sure of what had happened with a few time points to go. The story never bored me though, and I think the level of difficulty might be just right for a younger audience, or one with little experience in mystery plots.
The style is direct and to the point and I think that works best when reading mystery fiction. There are very few grammar errors and the pace is well balanced (even in the relevant/non relevant ratio of the interactions).
The geography of the island was also built really well; I managed to picture it in my mind easily enough and I'm not exactly known for my sense of direction.
Going more into details (still no spoilers though) I really liked all the parts that described the history of the island, including the little appendix on real-life references at the end. I was positively surprised to see that the story continued after the reveal of the culprit, but I have to side with Mizal on the chest wound matter.
In the end this was a fun and tightly packed mystery game and I can't wait to read the future additions to the series. A 7/8 for this genre.
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—
undr
on 10/5/2018 3:03:12 PM with a score of 0
This was fun. :)
I'd known you were working on a murder mystery but this wasn't what I expected at all. It's nice seeing more kid friendly stuff on the site and I'll be looking forward to the next installments in the series.
The timer countdown is such a simple thing but it's so effective for adding an extra level to it all, instead of just clicking every little thing it got me thinking about how to use each click the most effectively and what I should really be focusing on for clues. It got me thinking of all kids of ways that could be used in a puzzle too.
The writing is pretty solid as usual, although I think it would pay to remind yourself to break up sentences as you write. Some of it is just a style thing I know across all your stories but some lines really do threaten to become run ons, or just go on too long and become a slog. (I think the worst offender in this case is 'You lay down the Dorsetshire Gazette for 1 July 2000 (by now, nearly a month old) and stare moodily over the Blacksea Ferry’s railing towards Blacksea Island, squatting like a bug on the gentle sea, its thickly-growing dark green trees clustering together like a wall which, together with the almost total lack of beach beneath the steep cliffs, makes the island and its secrets appear ominously impenetrable.') which could easily have been split into two or three sentences that would've had more impact.
Just a note, I beat the game on the hardest difficulty the first time through. Since that apparently wasn't supposed to happen just letting you know in case you want to up the challenge level a little on the next one. Although honestly I feel like I shouldn't have beat it, I missed some details and time ran out just as I started talking to the person who would've told me about a gun. But I had to accuse somebody and once I looked over the suspect list there was only one person it could be based on another bit of info I'd been told. (Avoiding spoilers since new story and all and I will be featuring this comment.) Maybe some kind of 'wow I guess I really have no idea?' failure option at the end would be reasonable...or a more detailed tracker on that variable if one already exists, idk I didn't go back and do a deliberate time wasting run yet.
The mystery itself was fun to piece together and I enjoyed poking around for clues, and they all came together in a logical way. I felt like you hit a nice balance there of relevant vs non relevant stuff to look into. In the end however I felt like I had a good idea of what happened but no evidence whatsoever...if there hadn't been that handy public confession the character would've not remotely been believed. (Put me in mind of a Mitchell and Webb skit called The Evil Voice, you might get a chuckle out of looking it up.) But to be fair, I suspect this is just me massively overthinking a YA detective story.
Although, still in that vein...just sayin, a shotgun point blank to the chest would definitely, unquestioningly kill someone. Like, immediately.
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—
Mizal
on 10/5/2018 1:06:40 PM with a score of 0
I really need help. I can't figure this out. I know that it has something to do with the green's daughter but if I can't figure out who she is, I cant solve the mystery. Please help me!
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— IDK on 8/2/2024 11:57:40 AM with a score of 0
It was fun to play but a little less reading would make it a whole lot more fun
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— Brock Corley on 2/26/2024 1:14:51 PM with a score of 0
This was done very well I was very impressed and had a really fun time. I love mysteries and this didn't dissapoint
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— ABCDEFG on 1/25/2024 5:48:57 PM with a score of 0
Really good, interactive and authentic feel
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— Geoff on 1/7/2024 12:52:37 PM with a score of 0
ha
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— Jillian Ford on 9/14/2023 11:47:21 PM with a score of 0
A well thought-out classic murder mystery which is made slightly easier with Twine, but also more confusing with the lack of a map. I thought a map would be useful as I completely missed one of the areas as there were too many forks in the path.
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— meredith on 2/26/2023 7:53:41 AM with a score of 0
Well done! Congrats, and I hope to play more Knox mysteries!
view more...
—
SidecarStories
on 9/27/2022 9:54:56 PM with a score of 0
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