Dispiteous

Honestly, this is the first story that I ever saw on this site, that even came close to Love SICK level.

It’s dark, it’s edgy, it’s gory, it’s taboo breaking, and it’s definitely the type of story I like seeing around here.

The story of course is very short since you wrote it within a time limit, but I think with stories like this they work better on the shorter side of things since “edgelord tales” tend to get dull unless you break things up now and then.

Still, it probably could have been a little bit longer and not wore out its welcome. I can imagine that if you had the time you would have easily been able to expand on the fucked up family dynamics a lot more (Perhaps a bit more about the mom) and potentially added more branches and such. I know you have that creativity and talent since you tend to excel with this style of writing.

Anyway I liked it a lot.

(It’s no Love SICK, of course)

Whelp, that was... disturbing... I don't know what I can really say anymore about this than that I already did while proofreading the beginning (tagging doesn't work in storygame descriptions btw).

The writing was good, tough this genre of story isn't exactly my favorite, and though you only put two hours of work into this, it didn't really show. There were a decent amount of endings, though some of them (like the 'grown-up' ones felt a little rushed because of the sudden jump in time from 'little girl' to 'big girl'.

I've given it a 5/8, because it has a good level of writing, but is kinda short and your story feels kinda 'gore for gore's sake'.

slightly...more fun than homework

Pretty Intense. I restarted to get a lot of different endings but a few different paths led me to 'True'. 'True' was my first ending. I don't know if that's a good thing, or if there's even a good ending in the whole thing. Is there a path you can choose that will not get anyone hurt?

That's one crazy family!

This has to be one of my favorite story-games now. Excellent job.

Perfect. Don't change a thing. This is one of the highest ratings I've ever given. Yeah, it's gross, but I like the realism. I didn't read any incest so I don't know if that woulda been too much. Fun and absorbing. Great job!

Well written with very few spelling or grammar errors. As I said with the last story you did the endings could be a bit more varied. But a truly disturbing tale indeed.

Haha, hilarious and true like the other story ;)

The grammar and punctuation was very courteous, and the vocabulary was over the limit. The story and plot was well-written, but it was kind of crazy. Thanks for more stories! :)

Eery. I mean, Dad's an abuser, Ok, and a rapist, sure, but does he also need to be a paedophile necrophiliac? Seems a bit much evil for one character. The rest was pretty good, except I don't understand the true ending. Why did Mom kill me? I don't understand. From other people's comments, I don't seem to be misunderstanding. Still, other than that it was an enjoyable, if disturbing, level of fucked up.