Homo Perfectus

This story has a really cool and original premise, and I enjoyed it a lot. While it's not a hard sci-fi with logical explanations behind the futuristic stuff (in this case, powers), I still found it interesting. It does some really creative things with the items/powers that you have, something I haven't seen in any other stories and makes it a really interesting blend of story and game. I honestly recommend everyone play it, because the powers alone make it enjoyable, and just trying to figure out where I could use some of them was fun.

Spoilers ahead:
The biggest issue is that this story is too short! There's a lack of descriptions and characterization that could make this one of the best stories on the site. For example, it would be cool to have a detailed description of this somewhat futuristic city, and some more characterization for Mark, who is just a random person that decides to help you for no real reason. But both of the big fight scenes I encountered, against Teacher and then against Meckard and eve, were really cool. I had to consider what powers to use in response to what, and mostly had a lot of agency to win these fights the way I wanted to. The final fight scene had one place where you could only use one power, and overall the smell power was useless, but otherwise all of them were useful and contributed to the plot.
It'll also be interesting to see what happens in the sequels, because in my ending, the "heroic" one, I killed both Eve and Meckard, so there's no room for the plot to continue.

A great effort and an interesting mechanic. Sometimes frustrating at times with how linear it is in regards to what powers you can use when. Sometimes there are multiple possible ways to resolve a situation using your powers but you can only use one, and sometimes it isn't obvious which power you should use. In those scenarios you have to just keep choosing powers until you find the right one at random. Overall well written, sometimes a little clunky especially in the dialog, but still a great ride. The character logic of most of the cast is convenient logic with each character seemingly doing or saying whatever the plot requires. People assimilate earth shattering revelations in seconds, and it seeks future humans will instantly form powerful bonds in a few hours time. Those parts stretched the suspension of disbelief pretty far. it's understandable to make some leaps in order to keep length manageable and not go through pages of filler plot; but I do feel it could be handled better. That's why most stories that require people to become "fast friends" usually put the two in a situation of ongoing mutual imminent danger. It at least gives plausible reason for the two to be working together and the trauma and shared danger are used to excuse how they bonded so quickly. Ignoring those minor faults though this was a solid work with a novel mechanic and some good choice branches. I look forward to playing the sequel(s)

This will always be my favorite series on the site. This storygame was the first one I ever read and it was what captivated me and drew me into the CYTian community. The idea behind this is amazing, and the whole series is worthy of being featured. I think that the length is great and the action is well-paced, and so good that it keeps you on your toes the whole time.

The writing flows magnificently, adjusting with each scene like water into a new container. The pace switches to accommodate each scene as well, and it just has a way of attracting the reader to keep reading and to play again and again to the the full story.

It was a very good idea to give a bit of a backstory for our character so that we as readers are not confused by being thrown into conflict. The plot thickens and is very structured, with everything a story needs to be featured. With the help of the advanced editor, this makes it even more complex and highly addicting.

One complaint I do have is the lack of descriptive writing. There is some of course, but I feel that a story along these margins requires a lot more than produced. I like to have a feeling of being a part of the story itself, like it is a film being played inside my mind.

Another problem is how characters are introduced. They feel thrown in, like someone being pushed inside a boxing ring and being forced to reveal themselves to us. With a bit of work, character introduction can greatly improve your story for a stronger attachment to the character from the reader. You did very well with developing the characters thoug, and this more than makes up for everything. Changes in Adam are easily seen and foreshadowed to give us an idea of how to use him effectively.

I can't say much about the practicality of your solutions, as this is a superhero story, but the conflicts are generally realistic and are inserted at a good pace that complements the plot line nicely.

The story avoids linearity and gives us as readers a wide variety of options, aided by the advanced editor so that we can play again and aim for a different ending.

If I recall correctly, English isn't the authors first language, so proofreading with someone's help is always important, and I didn't actually catch many errors. They do not affect the storyline, so no complaints about that.

7/8

eh, not bad. also- IS THAT A FUCKIN JOJO REFERENCE-

I like it

this is the best homo in the series

Wow. That was a very good story. I like how the inventory was used as space for the powers, very creative. Moreover, I like the story idea in general. 8/8!

I that can just go back, because there was a lot of going back I had to do

Okay

it ok