Inferno quest series: #1The Burning adventure

Here's a sample of what you'll be reading. This is just after you "kill" the first dragon you encounter.

You run over to the dragon its so far away by the time you gaet there its night time. The beast is still alive it takes a look at you"YOU! YOU HAVE THE MEALION WHY!"in an ourageous voice the drgon speaks. You reply" My father gave it to me its a amilyhy do you want arloom centurys old but still sturdy why do care?""THAT IS THE JEWEL OF ENTERNAL LIGHT IT SIGNFIED PEACE BETWEEN DRAGONS AND HUMANS 10,000 TEARS AGO" beung amazed by this you take the arrow off the dragon and he is let down off the tree but does not attack you."MY LORD I AM INFERNO THE PALACE GARDIENS GRAND SON I AM AT YOU COMMAND MY KING" still being amazed you go along with this & you and Inferno become best of comades so the adventure begins...
Should read "and so the confusion begins..."

Nice

ABSOLUTELY THE DUMBEST THING EVER.

KILL THIS GAME!

This was awful. Run on sentences everywhere, it makes no sense and it's impossible to win.

The grammar is horrible and the story is really bad. Sorry, but this is barely a 1

I'm a great believer in the ideas of a story taking being more important than the writing itself (look at any of EndMaster's stories; there are a lot of typos), but even I couldn't rate this storygame any higher than 1/8 purely because of the utterly atrocious writing. It's to the point of being slightly over borderline unreadable, as in it does just about fall into the category of being literally unreadable. This storygame was so full of writing errors that I couldn't make sense of most of it, or if I attempted to I probably would have lost a lot of time and my grip on sanity. The entire thing was laden with spelling mistakes for simple words; run-on sentences; arbitrary capitalisation or lack of; sporadic punctuation; and sentences stuck together for no apparent reason. How someone can write quite this terribly is beyond me, because when I do freewriting at a fast pace it still has much better spelling and grammar than this. And this is coming from someone who has read CYS Warrior Cats fanfics.

Your use of the CYS editor left a lot to be desired too. As far as I could tell there was a link that allowed you to give someone a drink... by taking the reader to the same page. So I could just be sat there giving her a drink over and over again, and it would never have any effect whatsoever? Come on now, that's just lazy. At least have it go to a new page with a "go back" link.

What was with that maze? I had trouble enough with trying to decipher the rest of the storygame, so what made you think I could manage a maze as well? At least another infamous CYS maze (which admittedly was worse, but still) gave you some clues and indications as to which way to go. Or maybe you did and I just didn't see it because I could barely read the damn thing.

It really is a shame that your writing and CYS editor use is this bad when you actually have some very good ideas. A glass dragon? Six-armed trolls? A whole party of dragons to fight a demon overlord with? Great, just sort out your writing and we're good.

I would recommend this storygame for unpublishing but I honestly cannot make sense of it enough to tell if the plot is poor enough to warrant this. Maybe I'll go suggest that storygames with grammar and style poor enough should get deleted just for that.

I died on the second page...

This sucked, it was linear and misspellings every where and the drawings were horrid

Wow? You can die after the very first choice? In that case.. 5/8 difficulty rating is far too generous.

2/8