Player Comments on Inferno quest series: #1The Burning adventure

Here's a sample of what you'll be reading. This is just after you "kill" the first dragon you encounter.

You run over to the dragon its so far away by the time you gaet there its night time. The beast is still alive it takes a look at you"YOU! YOU HAVE THE MEALION WHY!"in an ourageous voice the drgon speaks. You reply" My father gave it to me its a amilyhy do you want arloom centurys old but still sturdy why do care?""THAT IS THE JEWEL OF ENTERNAL LIGHT IT SIGNFIED PEACE BETWEEN DRAGONS AND HUMANS 10,000 TEARS AGO" beung amazed by this you take the arrow off the dragon and he is let down off the tree but does not attack you."MY LORD I AM INFERNO THE PALACE GARDIENS GRAND SON I AM AT YOU COMMAND MY KING" still being amazed you go along with this & you and Inferno become best of comades so the adventure begins...
Should read "and so the confusion begins..."

Nice

ABSOLUTELY THE DUMBEST THING EVER.

KILL THIS GAME!

This was awful. Run on sentences everywhere, it makes no sense and it's impossible to win.

The grammar is horrible and the story is really bad. Sorry, but this is barely a 1

I'm a great believer in the ideas of a story taking being more important than the writing itself (look at any of EndMaster's stories; there are a lot of typos), but even I couldn't rate this storygame any higher than 1/8 purely because of the utterly atrocious writing. It's to the point of being slightly over borderline unreadable, as in it does just about fall into the category of being literally unreadable. This storygame was so full of writing errors that I couldn't make sense of most of it, or if I attempted to I probably would have lost a lot of time and my grip on sanity. The entire thing was laden with spelling mistakes for simple words; run-on sentences; arbitrary capitalisation or lack of; sporadic punctuation; and sentences stuck together for no apparent reason. How someone can write quite this terribly is beyond me, because when I do freewriting at a fast pace it still has much better spelling and grammar than this. And this is coming from someone who has read CYS Warrior Cats fanfics.

Your use of the CYS editor left a lot to be desired too. As far as I could tell there was a link that allowed you to give someone a drink... by taking the reader to the same page. So I could just be sat there giving her a drink over and over again, and it would never have any effect whatsoever? Come on now, that's just lazy. At least have it go to a new page with a "go back" link.

What was with that maze? I had trouble enough with trying to decipher the rest of the storygame, so what made you think I could manage a maze as well? At least another infamous CYS maze (which admittedly was worse, but still) gave you some clues and indications as to which way to go. Or maybe you did and I just didn't see it because I could barely read the damn thing.

It really is a shame that your writing and CYS editor use is this bad when you actually have some very good ideas. A glass dragon? Six-armed trolls? A whole party of dragons to fight a demon overlord with? Great, just sort out your writing and we're good.

I would recommend this storygame for unpublishing but I honestly cannot make sense of it enough to tell if the plot is poor enough to warrant this. Maybe I'll go suggest that storygames with grammar and style poor enough should get deleted just for that.

I died on the second page...

This sucked, it was linear and misspellings every where and the drawings were horrid

Wow? You can die after the very first choice? In that case.. 5/8 difficulty rating is far too generous.

2/8

Wow, a one page game...

... Well, I commend you for your pictures on 'paint', but any praise beyond that is nil.

Well, the game and the art were kinda cute but when you've got "another grat game" written in the description, you know you need to spell check. :p

Ok, I usually try to start with a good poit, so… the concept was good. Maybe you should take the story down and get a co-author to help you.

This was not a good game at all. It was very easy(run through the jungle is a HUGE overstatement), I won by just guessing. Also, while I enjoy a well placed picture, the ones in this game were HUGE and taking a lot of attention away from the actual game. I NEVER had to use any items. The grammar was terrible. I had a very hard time reading it. And to top it off, the plot was a little weak. I don't mean to be rude by any means. I see potential in the concept, and I want you to improve. Try reading the articles.

This is the best game ever! not

i didn't understand anything! your grammar worsens on every page and what's up with the items that i never use!

er....WAY too easy. I won but yeah =/ your spelling and grammar was so horrible that i didn't read 90% of it. That's a fail. you WANT people to wanna read your stuff.

This is the worst story I have seen so far. Horrible spelling errors, it was linear, and what's with end game links on the first page? 1/8

Ugh, so many things wrong I can't name them all, just a few, so refer to my comment on #2 for the others, some of the others will be on there. Basically, your either 10 or skipped English class for just about your entire schooling experience. The pages were one or two sentences long, and poorly written at that. Eventually, I made it to the end but my computer messed up and a page error screen appeared, and because there was NO WAY I would play through that again, I died on the first page.
Bo GREATLY dissaproves

On every page, there were basic grammatical errors, and, in the summary, typos ran galore. Ona lot of pages, there were only a few sentences typed, and the errors made enough of a distraction that I ended up just clicking the links to try to find the end. I fought plenty of monsters, gained a lot of items that I didn't use, and the plot was very mary-suish as in the main character was very overplayed with no weaknesses, able to tame dragons easily and fight of monsters without fret. The only weakness was that he kept getting lost in the cave, but that was purely my fault.

Another easy point. Don't put an end game link on the first page.

to easy but very funny

It was okay, but VERY linear.

Linear, but a pretty good story.

Not too shabby at all! Great effort here, nice pictures. I think you can probably work on your text though :P

sigh. Great pictures is the only reason why I gave this a 3

Description, description, description! Use detail you must if wish to create a satisfying story you do.

wow- how long did it take you to make these pictures?

Not as good as the second (which I played first), but well done. Just need some grammatical check-ups.

Some of the pictures are very creative. Unfortunately, the run on sentences, terrible spelling, and lack of description, coupled with random demons flying all over the place attacking this nameless hero don't do anything for the story. There needs to be a background and logical progression to battles.

ive seen better from you.

That was weird, but it was much better than the other games I see you make. The pictures were great.

good game. next time dont rush, and use better spelling.

cool game!

its good but wierd

to much of the things done for you

that was awsome sooooooooooooo cool full of action and cool pitcures.

I love this game

WOOOOH AWESOME GAME!!! TOTALLY FUN!!!<br>

Holy Cow that was a wicked game. Although you need a lot more choices!<br><br>Make more to the series

Pretty interesting

I beat *it* the real way this time. Fun game.

Whoa, way confusing. Fix your grammar up. Pretty fun tho.

definately has some potential! I dig it, although some of the links dont work (they'll just link you back to the same page). Good use of pics!

woo hoo i beat it, this was really tight especially the pics, but billy, i think u should have more options to choose from, then it would be way cooler thanks this is really cool<br>

I just beat my game really playin it and i loved it what about you

i like my game ill beat it later

good start to what can be a great game! Good luck!

ok, dude, I have no idea of what just happened, but I didnt like it... Maybe clear up the grammar and spelling, and fix some run on sentences. Could turn into a good game if you fix it up.

The games not done just givn u guys a taste