Necromancer

General Recommendation: I recommend this game. It’s a fun read with a sense of epicness and scale that many longer works fail to capture.
Preview: Will you successfully embrace your destiny as a true necromancer?

=SPOILERS BELOW=

General notes:
This story’s greatest strength is the sense of scope it builds up. Though actually one of EndMaster’s shorter works, this story deals with events on a larger scale than most other storygames, following the narrator’s journey to ultimately end the world. It’s an ambitious idea to tell a story about, and EndMaster handles it very skillfully.
The pace of this story is lightning fast in the best ways. No time is wasted on irrelevant details, instead the story jumps straight to the action. In the early parts of the story, it focuses more on how isolated incidents and conflicts are dealt with. This scene-by-scene approach gets across well how time is passing, and by the time the story shifts focus to a larger more epic scale, the reader really feels like a lot of time has passed. Despite the fast pace of the story, it never feels rushed, and the narrator’s increases in power never feel sudden.
The Necromancer’s family is used quite well in this story. Though the Necromancer faces large-scale sweeping challenges like the attack on Nuro and the confrontation with the vampires, ultimately the final challanges he must face are intimate and personal. In a longer story, some scenes with his family at the beginning could serve to establish their relationship, but given the length of the game, the informational links work fine.
There’s always been something amusing to me about the necromancer’s initial state as a college rich kid slacker. He starts off being very human, with very human traits and failings and desires. This shows strongly in his initial interaction with Big Red (as well as his plan to murder him), where he’s clearly in deep over his head, and on the early stages of the necromancer path where he gets curious and excited about new abilities and prospects for expansion. The two major pathes in this game do a good job showing the possibles ways for the protagonist to develop from this initial state. The necromancy path shows him shedding his mortal desires and wishes and becoming a pure detached personification of death. However, the second path makes clear that this was not inevitable: On the hellbound path, he instead embraces the material traits of pettiness and cruelty, sacrificing his natural gift in an attempt to gain power. Despite growing in power to levels almost approaching those of the necromancer path, he never achieves the confidence and competence of a true necromancer, always grasping fearfully for more power and needing to lie and cheat to get it.
Tone is used very effectively in this story. The tone at the beginning of this story is very conversational and casual. This does a good job setting up the world as it currently exists, and makes the tone shift later in the work more impactful. On the hell path, the narrator’s tone becomes gradiose and arrogant, using sweeping language. The Necromancer path also uses expansive phrasings, but this time it comes across as genuine, as the narrator can actually back up his claims.
There’s a sense of epicness and fate to this game. On the hell path, this is true from the perspective of Big Red’s manipulation of the narrator. There’s a sense of inevitability to his eventual domination. It’s most true on the main path, however, which tracks the narrator’s journey to becoming a god of death. Serena’s intervention, as well as the narrator’s steadily rythmic journey towards power makes the path feel fated and destined. This is a particularly interesting theme, given that the nature of the choose-your-own-adventure format prevents anthing from ever truly being fated. It’s done well, however.
The focus on fate and the “purity” of the narrator’s death powers is what makes this game more than just a hack-n-slash kill-em-all adventure. Yes, you do conquer the world, but it’s about more than just conquoring the world: It’s about the Necromancer’s realization of his destiny and place in the multiverse.

Specific notes:
-The pictures with captions add a lot of atmosphere to this game. I’d be curious to know how they were created and where they’re from.
-I’m not a big fan of info links in storygames, and this story has a bunch right at the beginning. The information itself is well-organized and well-written. The need to include background information is understandable in this game, as this game jumps straight into the action and doesn’t have time to introduce worldbuilding in the traditional way, as longer games like Rogues can.
-Big Red correctly identifies that the narrator is “confused and curious” at the beginning of the story. He has the potential to be a great necromancer, but he’s not one yet.
-The protagonist’s isolation on the hellbound path verses joining the Dark Order is a good contrast between the two branches.
-In the fight with Quayle: “You see a small gray building that doesn’t seem to be suggering any effects”. I know this is probably a coincidence, but I can’t help thinking of the gray building from Tales from the Basement and SSS. Perhaps there is some relation.
-Aftermath is a good name.
-Lol, left hand demon.
-The toll that the narrator’s allegiance with hell takes on his body is a good way to show his corruption.
-The scene with the narrator’s father on the hell path does a good job of highlighting the narrator’s arrogance and blindness, while also showing his insecurity.
-The narrator’s treatment of his sister and father on each path is another way to show the difference in his personality. On the hell path he brutally tortures both of them for pretty much no reason. On the necromancer path he comes to an understanding with his father before his death, and faces his sister with respect. This shows the larger differences between the two pathes as well, on the hell path the Necromancer is petty, vindictive, and insecure, on the necromancer path he’s far from being a good guy, but his pursuit of power is out of something more pure and dispassionate, allowing him to reach an understanding with his family, even if their goals are unequivocally opposed.
-The epilogue to the hell path is quite well written.
-I also like the contrast that on the hell path the narrator is actively seeking godhood, but only on the necromancy path can he achieve it.
-Big Red is an excellent character, and used to full effect in this story. Of all the demons, he plays the role of a “true” archetypical demon the most; manipulating from the shadows and striking after being very patient. The reveal at the end that he has been manipulating events the whole time manages both to surprise the reader but also feel preordained; how else could the Necromancer’s association with hell have ended?
-It’s interesting that the ending where you side with the vampires in the hell path winds up being more positive for yourself and the world than the ending. I like that the game shows the opportunities the Necromancer has to turn away from his conquest on both paths.
-I like the way Mr. Demar and Big Red have inverse character arcs. Mr. Demar starts out as a pinacle of knowledge in the dubious side of the academic, but later turns out to be unable to handle the situations he’s created. Big Red gets offed in the first chapter, only to later be revealed to have masterminded the apocalypse in his spare time.
-I like that the Necromancer immobilizes the zombies using a nature spell, something he’s horrible at.
-Another parallel: In the hell arc, the Necromancer starts off alone and winds up surrounded by others. In the necromancy arc, he starts off with lots of allies and ends up alone.
-The jokes about all the necromancers previous failed attempts at magic are amusing.
-In general, I like the way EndMaster handles vampires in his stories. Like elves, they’re one of the fantasy creatues that it’s very easy to write in a cliche or irritating manner. However, the vampires in these stories are written in a self-aware fasion, emphasizing the inhuman aspects rather than the human ones.
-I like the inclusion of time magic. As this is a story about necromancy, it never takes center stage, but the effects we are allowed to see are intriguing and show the reader where necromancy fits in in the world of magic. It also makes a good and unusual challenge for the Necromancer to face.
-I like the reltionship between Catalina and the Necromancer better after they’re together. It’s not really clear why she changes her mind about him during the coutship stage, but once they are together, they make good partners. I'd like to learn more about why Catalina is so willing to go along with the Necromancer's plans to kill the world.
-The Ghoul King is done well. He makes an unusual and fun ally in the early parts of the game. His later betrayal makes sense given what we know of his character, and does a good job showing the changing circumstances for the Necromancer.
-It’s interesting that the Necromancer is in denial about his desire to kill everything for a long time.
-The scene where the Necromancer becomes the Great Lich Lord is well done.
-The Necromancer’s increasing exhaustion and lack of emotion throughout the necromancy path is a good way to track his gradually losing his humanity and becoming a personification of death.
-The final chapter of the necromancy arc is largely about whether or not the Necromancer is fully committed to his path of death. I like that many of the endings where he turns away are allowed to be positive, as this is realisitc.
-It seems odd that your mom says “as was predicted” regardless of what you choose.
-The final scene where the Necromancer leaves the world is quite well-written, capturing the sense of epicness and scale that the story has been building to up to this point.

Grammar
Generally good.
Mastery of Language
There are a number of sentence structuring issues, particularly in the beginning of the story. At times, these contribute to the conversational tone.
One thing that’s notable about this story is that the writing and style improves noticably as the story goes on, to the extent that it might well be deliberate. It certainly does a good job of illustrating the changes in the scope of the story, the changes to the narrator, and the changes to the world, as the seriousness of the events is mirrored by the language and phrasing used.

Branching
Not great, the story only has two major pathways. This isn’t a problem, as the story states up front it’s more “story” than “game”.

Player Options/fair choice
Fair choice is pretty good, the consequences of actions are well-foreshadowed. The player options aren’t great, as the story only has two official endings and a single choice at the beginning determines which one the player is on track for. This isn’t a problem, as the story states up front it’s fairly linear.

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE: I played through the necromancy path when I first played a few years ago.

CONCLUSION: An well-written and entertaining game that brings an impressive sense of scope to the reader’s journey.

This storygame is one of the highest rated here, and for good reason. There are varying degrees of seriousness in the content at Chooseyourstory.com, and this one perfectly straddles the middle ground. It has enough matter-of-fact, wry humor to keep you chuckling, like the whole "most witches are rug munchers" bit at the beginning; but it also has a few moments of emotional catharsis, like (SPOILERS) the path where you can choose to not help your father when you are shot back into time before your birth. By choosing to not interfere, you undo your entire existence, preventing countless deaths, while bridging the emotional gap with your mother for one last little message from her, telling of how your actions have spared lives despite your nature as an emissary of death.(/SPOILERS)

Another praiseworthy trait of this storygame is that it has sufficient branching that leads to unique endings and exploration of very different aspects of the world. Obviously the two main branches are the demon realm and human/elves/etc, but it also further splits them up, particularly on the human side of the story, where you have several interesting endings to choose from. I don't want to get into too many spoilers, but you do have a few options to "do the right thing" when you become powerful enough to do the wrong thing. What makes these branches work, however, is that the endings that accompany those choices feel earned. They make sense in light of the world and the events preceding them, and they are rewarding in and of themselves.

Of course, the best part about this storygame is the casual disregard for life and morals that the protagonist has, and the fact that it feels more like destiny than malicious choice. You're not trying to snuff out life because you hate it exactly, but because this is who you are. If you make the right choices, you will find by the end that the choices your character made weren't really choices at all. You are the Necromancer.

Necromancer is never too heavy, but it isn't too light, either. It brings a little piece of all the emotions and type of thoughts you'd want to experience in a storygame, and mixes them together like a deliciously churned vat of ice cream. Add some good, comical dialogue and some pictures that draw you into the world a little bit, and you have the makings of what should be an 8/8 storygame.

This is the first story I read in this site when I happily stumbled upon it a couple years ago, and it was the one that got me hooked to it. And after all this time, I still find it to be the best and most touching multiple choice story I have ever read.

I took the first way back then, and didn't play the other one up until now as I was so involved in the story I didn't want it to be any different. Needless to say, the second way is as good and interesting, and it also explores more in depth some of the characters of the first one.


Now with the real review:

Characters:
I think that the most important thing in a narrative text are the characters. I find that good characters can justify a mediocre plot but that a good plot can't justify mediocre characters. The characters in Necromancer are all well crafted and have a personality, and as such they all feel like real individuals.

I can relate to the emotions felt by the main character, which helps in getting into the story and believing it, which is a big plus in this kinds of stories. In fact, I think that part of the special significance of this story to me is that I identify with it’s main character at some level. I’ve been there, and I’ve had those thoughts.

Plot:
The plot of this story is pretty simple and straightforward, it being the necromantic career of the main character, but it succeeds in what it tries to do and it's interesting and overall well thought out. As with most of Endmaster's stories, it is a "vital" plot, as it is about the life of the main character rather than just a single story in it, and as such it deals with a lot of the topics a life has (war, love, family, sex, death, etc).

The feel of politics, warfare and intrigue and the choices to make in such fields are also very interesting. The choices are complete (as they included what I would do in those situations) and they can change the outcome of the story substantially. Such things are also very logical, as what would usually work in real life is what works in the story. It is, therefore, realistic.

Another important thing is the ending, as it can screw a good story without too much problems. Both of the major endings are satisfying and well thought out, and some of the dead ends are pretty satisfying and fun too.

Consequence:
It is important for a fictional world to have definite rules that are followed all the time; otherwise, it is inconsequential and its choices become just random luck. This isn't obviously the case with Necromancer, as the rules are clear and followed throughout the story.

Writing and vocabulary:
The vocabulary in Necromancer is rich and employs accurate wording, without ever feeling distant, cold or pompous. In fact, one of the best things about Endmaster’s writing is that it combines this sort of vocabulary with a closeness with the reader and some sarcastic smirks that makes his writing truly enjoyable despite it being opposed to mine (which feels long, tedious and is like basically reading your calculator’s instruction manual in Chinese).

Technical details:
An especially gruesome typo can be a distraction from the story, and a bad layout can make it unreadable. This of course doesn’t happen with Necromancer, as the layout is fine as it is. There are some typos and repeated words, but those are minor, scarce, and don’t detract from the story at all.

Conclusions:
As I said in the beginning, I find this to be the best multiple choice story I have ever reed, although that is partially due to personal reasons. Analyzing it coldly, it may not be the best one, but it is certainly among them. I therefore give it an 8/8 (a 10 in my book), and I encourage everyone who hasn’t read it before to do so, it will be worth the time.

Also, thanks to Endmaster for writing such a masterpiece and giving it away for free. Your love for the art is truly commendable.

This thing is alive

Well written, sad. Good read for all the would-be liches out there.

Hello author Sama , luv u and your work ...kiss kiss xxx

I appreciate your work...pt2 possibly.. Its very epic and I really needed it... thank you

Beautiful Writing, I'd keep reading this for new epilogue, I love the arts, images it really added the depiction of what's it like, truly dedication and masterpiece !

intresting

Amazing story.