The Ocean's Daughter

The Ocean’s Daughter is not a horrible story, but it left me rather disappointed, considering it was featured. Perhaps someone who likes slice-of-life romance would have a greater appreciation for it than I.

The grammar is decent, and the story is very readable. The format is mainly a bunch of scenes with different outcomes depending on choice, and the story itself has little branching. I only found two endings, but it seems there is a third if the reader makes all the correct choices. Unfortunately, I played through many times making different choices and could not be bothered to do it again after a while because, frankly, I was really bored at that point

Now, let’s get all the things that didn’t make sense to me out of the way. How is Brandon growing all that fruit at one time. Fruit grows in different climates, soils, and seasons. You can’t just say, “Hey, this is a tropical island. I know. I’ll grow fruit!” and grow whatever you like and have whatever you want all be in season at once, yet here this dude is able to successfully grow all manner of things. There’s a reason that apples come from places such as Washington and bananas come from places like Honduras.
While we’re on diet, why would a mermaid be vegetarian? That seems like it would be quite difficult in the ocean for something close to a human. It is not as if they can grow fields of beans down there. Why would Marina be mad if Brandon caught fish anyway? At that point in the story, she’s presumably been living with him for a quite a while, and it is not as if he can live off his magic, all climate fruit garden forever with no ill effects—or maybe he can, it being magic and all.

The story does not have much of a plot and is more of a slice of life thing or a collection of memories. That is not inherently bad, but I would have liked some more humor or something going on other than eating magic fruit and kissing chicks. Most slice-of-life stuff has some humor to it or really strong characterization so that the reader can enjoy the story despite it portraying such un-noteworthy events.
I am sure that some people would find it cute and appreciate it, but that’s my opinion.


The ending came rather abruptly. There’s a bunch of scenes, and then she’s gone. I would maybe have liked that if the framing of the story was different, but as it was I was mostly disappointed that nothing had happened. Maybe the perfect ending I didn’t find was different, but it shows care was put into the story when all real ends are somewhat satisfying to read.

If you aren’t looking for a story with heavy plot, don’t want to think to hard about things, and like cutesy romances, maybe check this out.

I need strawberries...

Absolutely without a shadow of a doubt. THIS is one METICULOUSLY crafted love storygame. At first it was kinda like Snow, but it has its own unique sea-side (pun intended).

Aside those, no errors were in spelling or grammar, the character's development with the other (*cough *cough Marina *cough *cough) was realistic, and their love scenes were so sweet, just like hazelnut ice cream (no, not strawberries).

One thing which sort of cut short the excellent story, however, was the ending. It wasn't really detailed, as if it was rushed into place. An epilogue could have been icing on the perfect cake. Not to worry, it's not the end of the world. Just have more development on the endings in your stories to come (I hope you DO have more to come).

I missed out some Reeses' Cups Ice Cream just to read this. 7/8.

'The Ocean's Daughter' is written beautifully. Despite other comments, I think that the grammar and spelling was done exceptionally well compared to other stories on this website. There are no complaints from me on that end.

Though I have to admit that I did have trouble connecting with any of the characters. I feel that there could have been more character development, and I certainly would enjoyed reading more about the mermaid and her past. The ending struck me as a bit disappointing; I was expecting more of a climax or build-up at that point. (Though I clearly got the bad ending.)

Overall, this is a well written short story. The author has talent and skill in terms of writing fiction. If only I could have learned more about Marina and her life as a mermaid! Maybe if I play again, the "good" ending will be better...?

Rating: 6/8

This was so cute!! I love it!

Very realistic love story, the uniqueness in this story is that you have to be actually thoughtful to understand and build the relationship little by little. Love is never complete without its good and bad times, and in this story the author resembled both aspects of it in a very excellent way

Umm..Give me a tissue...I have no words ;-(

it ok

A sweet story.

it is fine sad but fine

very sad yet soooo goood