The Life to Live

A fantasy storygame by MillenniumDawn

Player Rating2.17/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"

Based on 13 ratings since
Played times (finished )

Story Difficulty2/8

"Walk in the park"

Play Length5/8

"Not going to lose any sleep"

Maturity Level4/8

"Need to be accompanied by an adult"

Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG.

Tags

Drama

Fantasy

You are a young person that comes from a Island hundreds of miles away.Your mother dies of scurvy.A lady finds you,and promises to take you in as her own child.

Your Character:

Name:Ailith Hasashi.
Age:19
Weight:Varies
Height:5'8
Gender:Female
Eye color:Blue
Hair color:Auburn
Weapon:Bow-and-arrow,Two daggers

BirthMother:Juna Hasashi
Father:Unknown(for now)

Mother:Luka Williams
Father:Clyde Williams

Birthplace:Unknown(at the moment)

New Island:Huquica
Village:Wentirland

You go off at the age of nineteen and you try to live a life that you could have.There are many lives you can live you have to find a life to live.Your character gets older in those lives and you.Develope,and learn new things during your life.There's also a life the can just go straight,but there can be some turns in it.

The story's a little long,or maybe too long,It's a warning,or heads up.

Good Luck!

To be honest the long path for you to take is actually for you to stay with your friends in Yuienta...just to let you you know if your still reading the description.

Player Comments

"You go off at the age of nineteen and you try to live a life that you could have.There are many lives you can live you have to find a life to live.Your character gets older in those lives and you.Develope,and learn new things during your life.There's also a life the can just go straight,but there can be some turns in it.

The story's a little long,or maybe too long,It's a warning,or heads up."

Already confused the heck out of me just from reading all that above.
Too many mentions of lives and lifes and repetition of the same thing, just worded differently. The lack of any punctuation completely killed it, and I just ended up clicking rapidly through the entire game.

— TryingHard on 7/4/2017 4:08:45 PM with a score of 0

Great Game You did good. *highfive*

— MillenniumDawn on 7/1/2017 3:23:17 PM with a score of 0

The ducked up grammar made me rate this a three.

If it had made more sense, It would have been pretty interesting.

I'd be glad to read this over again when it is fixed.

— 3iguy on 6/30/2017 7:11:09 PM with a score of 0

Three things:

1.) For the love of God, use your space key.

2.) Look up how to punctuate dialogue.

3.) More proofreading in general.

It looks like real effort was put into the actual writing, which makes it doubly a shame that the technical issues make this pretty much unreadable.

— Mizal on 6/30/2017 8:21:50 AM with a score of 0

The story was a bit off to me. The protagionist had several Mary-Sue aspects to her, and your grammar errors (such as not putting a space after a comma) was quite frustrating to see.
Nonetheless, you clearly put effort into this storygame. I wish I could've rated it higher than a 3/8, but I can't until the grammar errors and the many pages with no choices were improved. Much of this could've been fixed by spending time editing your story. (Using a test-reader would be helpful as well.)

— WouldntItBeNice on 6/30/2017 6:22:14 AM with a score of 0

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