The Promise

A fan fiction storygame by clauraseekingzer0

Player Rating3.38/8

"#642 overall, #48 for 2014"

Based on 54 ratings since 05/10/2014
Played 749 times (finished 60)

Story Difficulty2/8

"Walk in the park"

Play Length3/8

"A nice jog down the driveway"

Maturity Level5/8

"Aren't you a little too old to be trick or treating"

Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 13. If this were a movie, it would probably be PG-13.

Tags

RPG

Serious

A fifteen year old girl living in the futuristic world, she wasn't as lucky as some of the people in this realm. She was born into the slums, forced to survive by any means.

Aliclair is a twenty-one year old man, wealthy and seeking company.

~~~~~~~~

This story is a demo, since it is my first story on this site. Don't judge too harshly. Yes, I know it's short. I might add more pathways in the future. As of now its just a test.

This story is based off of a story I wrote with a friend on deviantart.com

(my account is ally-tan)
http://ally-tan.deviantart.com

The characters are from a role-play group called ShadedSatin (story owned my Skyler and myself on dA)

http://shadedsatin.deviantart.com

If you choose to play this story, please read this or you might be confused about some of the terms used:
http://fav.me/d6h2ek0

If you are too lazy to read them it is written in the beginning of the story and basic character information in the first few pages. There is information in the story taken from the original plotline and story these characters are from.

The story and characters are original, owned by Skyler-chan498 (on dA) and myself.

This game is a prequel to the original story presented in the original Shade Satin story/rpg.

You can read the original prequel here:

http://sta.sh/01rp24e35zkz

Please note the game will vary from this document, as this version is designed to have different pathways. There is a good ending, and a bad ending.

This game is more story than actual game. You will have the option to play as either Aliclair or Kyoko. They have the same story, but they are written in different perspective.

Kyoko has more story lines and more pathways. Aliclair's has one ending. I might add more endings to aliclair's story in the future, but not now.

~~~~~~~~~~

Player Comments

it's a really good beginning, in my opinion. You have a good writing style and imagery and the characters seem rather interesting. I would like to see this continued, the only two things that I would suggest are really these: Because the only real way we got to know the characters were through their pasts and lesser so in their interactions, I would try to get these characters more developed in the story. To give us readers a better understanding. The second is the same others are saying (you're not alone here, I need to learn to do this as well), try to shorten the amount of text on one page, or even one paragraph. Large and long paragraphs can look semi-intimidating, so I would break up your paragraphs more. Great start though, I would like to see it become longer/continued.

— AceofRoses on 5/10/2014 4:26:50 PM with a score of 0

The amount of pages were slightly shorter than I prefer, but each page was filled to the tip and worth the read. Some details that were given in the beginning weren't very important - but good use of imagery anyways. Improvements may include separating a long page into two pages, more plot and storyline, a greater feel for other characters, and not much else before you're on your way to making an excellent game. I look forward to reading your progress in the future.

— Ford on 5/10/2014 3:09:27 AM with a score of 0

The story was a bit odd. Decent overall

— Yummyfood on 4/17/2023 4:21:48 PM with a score of 0

i think it would be fuuny if they kill together

— 21workmanma on 2/2/2023 9:33:26 AM with a score of 0

The comments on this story are all over the place. This feels like an abridged version of something longer, where all the meat was cut out and just enough was left behind to gist the kind of story this is.

Setting aside both the mistakes and the strengths, this needed to be much longer to be able to stand on its own. The character bios are practically as long as the story. This was inspiration without work. We're only looking at a seed here.

— ugilick on 5/30/2021 2:10:04 PM with a score of 0

Well that was certainly interesting.

— TharaApples on 8/4/2016 4:28:50 AM with a score of 0

umm... that was... interesting... it was ok, it could be a little longer. other then that, nothing much. it was good, descriptive, and slightly more fun than I expected, not bad. 9/10

— anna on 3/5/2015 9:45:46 PM with a score of 0

The text changes were awkward at the beginning and ... that's about all I have to say right now.