Being alive V2.0 tester

I was actually quite hopeful in the beginning because the storygame was getting an average start. Then immediately, I rated it a 1/8 at the end. Why?

There were some glaring grammatical issues. Capitalization of pronouns and lack of commas at the right places, mostly.

"Try to stay alive and reach the ripe old age of 80
I first released this early 2014. I never finished it. Now I have upgraded it to 2.0
Nah, just showing a friend." - Your description for the storygame
For the first line, you forgot a period. For the third sentence... why the heck did you "never finish" the storygame before publishing??? Finish a story before publishing. That's a golden rule. And that last sentence: "Nah, just showing a friend." There's literally nothing to show to your friend.

When I read the description, I didn't expect much from the storygame, but when I started reading the storygame, it actually looked decent and pretty good. Until I clicked two or three links. I first got a dead end with a "Save Game" link. Alright. Please don't have dead ends even if there's a link because that link literally gets you nowhere. So I went back. And easily got to the End Game link.

Wow. That was quick. So. Um. What exactly happened? There was so little description, back story, and setup that I didn't even realize the game ended til it did. I was promised a game to make it to 80 years old, but the protagonist was still a baby when the story ended. Except I can't even call that a story.

Please put more effort into writing in general. You have a nice idea going... but this was just sad.

This storygame was terrible.

I could have ended this comment right there, but then I'd only be putting in about as much effort as you did in elaborating and describing here. I dread to think what this used to be like if this is an updated version. Not really sure what kind of entertainment you thought anyone would get out of reading this.

When you write in half-assed, short, no-detail sentences, it numbs the mind of the reader and stops them from concentrating on the content. I breezed through this storygame in 2-3 minutes because it was that short, but I really can't remember much more about it than there was a boring and cliched choice of gender and that it featured a nun.

I've spent more time commenting than playing. I don't see how this has managed to get a rating of 3/8. Despite this poor quality, it doesn't meet the minimum site standards of deletion, which is just wrong. Isn't there a better way to decide what deserves to be deleted and what doesn't?

this doesn't mak4e any sense. so I shot my dad where?

It ends abruptly after taking the nerf gun to Uncle Clive. Finish the story please

I guess xenomorphs don't have a long life expectancy lol

Look, I was 12 when I made this and eating some bacon. ESB was a joke story, made in 15 minutes. I plan to continue work on Being Alive over the next few months, and I'll release it when it's finished. Sorry if my stupidly random sense of humour offended anyone.

I got flattened by a jeep. . .

I got to "Go Home" chapter, or something along those lines.

Great potential, as any story, if this ever gets completed I'm sure it'll be amazing.

Broken links and leaves me saying "wait what?".

Would play again when COMPLETELY finished :)

Saw the murderous maths reference. Story was very linear, xenomorph didn't have much of a storyline, girl doesn't last long either, even male isn't that long!

You have a lot of potential, try not to keep wasting it.

Ridiculous