Cows vs. Aliens!

a Puzzle / Games by BerkaZerka

Commended by BerkaZerka on 7/28/2019 11:30:16 AM

Player Rating6.67/8

"#30 overall, #4 for 2016"
based on 342 ratings since 11/19/2016
played 9,236 times (finished 540)

Story Difficulty5/8

"run through the jungle"

Play Length6/8

"It'll be a while, better grab a Snickers®"

Maturity Level3/8

"must be at least this tall to play"
Contains content that may not be suitable for persons under age 10. If this were a movie, it would probably be between G and PG.

Farmer Brown is on vacation and it's up to Fernando El Fantastico the Bull (that's you!) to save his Herd when Aliens come to harvest them!

(by playing draw poker against a horde of moronic alien invaders!)

Special Thanks to Killa_Robot for playtesting feedback - This Meep's For him! ^v^

Player Comments


Yes, it's an entertaining poker simulator.
Preview: Aliens are trying to steal your cows. The fiends! The only way you can keep your herd safe is to beat those aliens at the great galactic game, poker. Are you up to the challenge?



Basic Plot & Coherence: 2/2 (usually /5)
Shockingly, this does manage to have a plot. Basically, this game is a very good poker simulator with an entertaining storyline and amusing graphics.
The plot is highly entertaining, especially because the game as it is doesn’t really need one. On its own, this game is already a clever poker simulator. The plot just takes it the extra mile.

Characters & Development: 0/0 (usually /5)
As compelling a heroic figure as Farmer Brown is, we don't get to see much of his inner conflict. This category is unweighted for obvious reasons.

Grammar: 5/5
I noticed no mistakes.
Mastery of Language: 1/1 (usually /5)
What plot there is is written in an entertainingly campy style that fit perfectly with the tone of the game.

Mechanics & Coding: 5/5
Wow. An entire poker game is coded into choose-your-own-adventure format. That’s highly impressive. As far as I can tell, the coding is seemless, glitchless, and impressive in terms of versetility.

Branching: 0/0 (usually /5)
There’s no real branching, so this category is unweighted.

Player Options/fair choice: 2.5/3
A lot of the game is just based on hoping you get lucky with what cards you draw. In real poker, the entertainment of the game tends to come from judging your opponent’s cards, which is admittedly hard to do in an online version of the game (it’s a nitpick, but it’s my nitpick). That said, considering this is a poker simulator, the options you do have are surprisingly flexible.

I died after a couple rounds (curse those aliens!). I don’t know what the ultimate victory ending is, but I imagine it’s very well deserved.

CONCLUSION: 15.5/16 = 97.88%
-- Gryphon on 4/21/2021 1:57:45 PM with a score of 120
Wow! This was great! I got addicted and really enjoyed both the funny story and the game play. The scripting and art was really well done! Everything about the game was polished and fun. The story was just enough to frame the poker simulator and add to it, without being cumbersome. The jokes were good. The cheating and other antics made it more fun than just standard poker. I was going to say the game was too easy (I am decent at poker), but right when I thought that the Aliens cheated me out of all my cows! It ended up being the perfect difficulty (in my opinion). I clicked and expected a cheesy story about karate cows, and found something way better.
-- Shadowdrake27 on 8/26/2019 10:09:50 AM with a score of 1420
This game is just first-class awesomeness. Sure, the author could have written all the tons of scripting and manipulation to make a poker-playing card game and that would have been enough. But instead, this author went way beyond that and included hilarious pictures on the cards and even a story about aliens who somehow know how to play poker in the first place!

I loved the way that it kept going for a long time, forcing you try and beat more and more aliens as the game progressed. I’m not sure how I was able to beat so many so easily, and I wonder if the game might be slightly tipped in my favor (or if the AI behind the aliens is as dumb as the aliens or even non-existent). But it was still absolutely tons of fun. I don’t know why this isn’t rated eight by everyone who plays it – I’m guessing those are alienphobes or something.

This is a really great example of some of the extremes that are possible with this site and the scripting languages and variables that are available to authors. Yes, you can write some great stories here, but if you learn more about how these things works, you, too, can create masterful games like this. Thanks so much for taking all the time it took to write this thing and for sharing it with the site!
-- Ogre11 on 6/7/2018 4:28:51 PM with a score of 1040
It's hard to grasp how much smart thought and tough work went into this. It's not a perfect game, but it's still a pretty satisfying time sink. The aliens being able to raise the bet was a great feature.

There was a moment when I said to myself, "I guess I'm betting the farm." I bet 30 and the aliens raised. I had no choice. When I won the hand it came with a victorious feeling. This game can be kinda tough, especially if you have the discipline not to cheat it.

A feature that would have been cool was a way for your character to cheat, within the confines of the game. Maybe a way to keep a card hidden behind your ear. As only a common man though, I'm not sure how much more scripting that would have made necessary.

This is pretty fun with a great sense of humor. I'll be suggesting this to friends.
-- ugilick on 11/22/2016 2:21:11 PM with a score of 1445
I like putting the aliens score in negatives with this easy game.
-- Kali Chun on 11/15/2020 12:08:10 AM with a score of 2000
I lost the 3rd round :(

I rated this a 7.
-- 325boy on 10/7/2020 1:35:33 AM with a score of 475
I liked it.
-- H1GH_C0NF3SS0R on 9/22/2020 2:44:21 PM with a score of 2000
-- MessyGoat on 7/11/2020 3:52:25 AM with a score of 110
the 3rd round is hard
-- Kylo on 7/9/2020 6:03:12 AM with a score of 440
Pretty good story. Very entertaining too.
-- alpha_2 on 6/12/2020 10:50:48 PM with a score of 1770
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