Player Comments on Cows vs. Aliens!

COWS VS. ALIENS!: 98%

SHOULD I READ THIS?
Yes, it's an entertaining poker simulator.
Preview: Aliens are trying to steal your cows. The fiends! The only way you can keep your herd safe is to beat those aliens at the great galactic game, poker. Are you up to the challenge?

=SPOILERS BELOW=

RATINGS:

Basic Plot & Coherence: 2/2 (usually /5)
Shockingly, this does manage to have a plot. Basically, this game is a very good poker simulator with an entertaining storyline and amusing graphics.
The plot is highly entertaining, especially because the game as it is doesn’t really need one. On its own, this game is already a clever poker simulator. The plot just takes it the extra mile.

Characters & Development: 0/0 (usually /5)
As compelling a heroic figure as Farmer Brown is, we don't get to see much of his inner conflict. This category is unweighted for obvious reasons.

Grammar: 5/5
I noticed no mistakes.
Mastery of Language: 1/1 (usually /5)
What plot there is is written in an entertainingly campy style that fit perfectly with the tone of the game.

Mechanics & Coding: 5/5
Wow. An entire poker game is coded into choose-your-own-adventure format. That’s highly impressive. As far as I can tell, the coding is seemless, glitchless, and impressive in terms of versetility.

Branching: 0/0 (usually /5)
There’s no real branching, so this category is unweighted.

Player Options/fair choice: 2.5/3
A lot of the game is just based on hoping you get lucky with what cards you draw. In real poker, the entertainment of the game tends to come from judging your opponent’s cards, which is admittedly hard to do in an online version of the game (it’s a nitpick, but it’s my nitpick). That said, considering this is a poker simulator, the options you do have are surprisingly flexible.

PERSONAL EXPERIENCE:
I died after a couple rounds (curse those aliens!). I don’t know what the ultimate victory ending is, but I imagine it’s very well deserved.

CONCLUSION: 15.5/16 = 97.88%

Wow! This was great! I got addicted and really enjoyed both the funny story and the game play. The scripting and art was really well done! Everything about the game was polished and fun. The story was just enough to frame the poker simulator and add to it, without being cumbersome. The jokes were good. The cheating and other antics made it more fun than just standard poker. I was going to say the game was too easy (I am decent at poker), but right when I thought that the Aliens cheated me out of all my cows! It ended up being the perfect difficulty (in my opinion). I clicked and expected a cheesy story about karate cows, and found something way better.

This game is just first-class awesomeness. Sure, the author could have written all the tons of scripting and manipulation to make a poker-playing card game and that would have been enough. But instead, this author went way beyond that and included hilarious pictures on the cards and even a story about aliens who somehow know how to play poker in the first place!

I loved the way that it kept going for a long time, forcing you try and beat more and more aliens as the game progressed. I’m not sure how I was able to beat so many so easily, and I wonder if the game might be slightly tipped in my favor (or if the AI behind the aliens is as dumb as the aliens or even non-existent). But it was still absolutely tons of fun. I don’t know why this isn’t rated eight by everyone who plays it – I’m guessing those are alienphobes or something.

This is a really great example of some of the extremes that are possible with this site and the scripting languages and variables that are available to authors. Yes, you can write some great stories here, but if you learn more about how these things works, you, too, can create masterful games like this. Thanks so much for taking all the time it took to write this thing and for sharing it with the site!

It's hard to grasp how much smart thought and tough work went into this. It's not a perfect game, but it's still a pretty satisfying time sink. The aliens being able to raise the bet was a great feature.

There was a moment when I said to myself, "I guess I'm betting the farm." I bet 30 and the aliens raised. I had no choice. When I won the hand it came with a victorious feeling. This game can be kinda tough, especially if you have the discipline not to cheat it.

A feature that would have been cool was a way for your character to cheat, within the confines of the game. Maybe a way to keep a card hidden behind your ear. As only a common man though, I'm not sure how much more scripting that would have made necessary.

This is pretty fun with a great sense of humor. I'll be suggesting this to friends.

cow again

stop poking cows, you will be arrested for attacking out mooing overlords, you develish feind

Very cow, very poker

Played this because of another comment laid down recently.

As others have indicated, it's a great poker simulator, along with some surprise gameplay twists! There isn't that much in terms of a story, but the old narrative trope of aliens abducting cows is more than enough to entertain the player as he tries to make the best hand possible.

I really like how the presence of the aliens also affects the gameplay mechanics. Some rounds can randomly end with cheating, such as having your cards be swapped or having to construct a new hand out of your opponents' cards. This storygame would get points for the poker simulation alone, but creative ingenuity should always be pointed out and admired.

Managed to completely humiliate the aliens. It was a fun game, and it has great replayability!

hi mr person that I don't know, your game is actually more fun than homework. And please, if you play call of Duty, my name is Tuestrate - and if you have any card points, please donate all of them to me, otherwise I'm gonna leave a skunk in your bathroom and give it your bathrobes to eat for breakfast lunch and dinner. And instead of toilet cleaner there will be skunk juice ;-P Fresh and tasty just the way you like it! I will haunt you to my last breath ;-) Love you, bye

Your own mother says that your game sucks

best game about gambling as a cow trying to deafeat aliens ever

my teacher shared this with the class not knowing about the ending lmaooo

This game made me realize how fun gambling is. Definitely gonna do this more!

ummmmmm im not a fan of this game

IT SUCKS

THIS GMAE IS SO GAY

i played really bad

THIS GAME IS SO BAD DO NOT PLAY

I HATE THIS GAME

you suck like there's no tomorrow frogface

.....

The Aliens are dumb and they have to many points when you get further on in the game.

This Game is some what fun

This game is a ton of fun, the perfect light and easy way to chill after a stressful day. Simple and fun with hilarious dialogue, Cows vs. Aliens is definitely worth playing.

I really enjoyed this game. It had a bit of story to it, which I enjoyed, but it was really fun down to the designs of the cards (I would love to know where you got those btw). Especially for me because I am somewhat familiar to poker, I would probably still be able to pick this up off nothing. I love this game.

fun and clever implementation. Not sure I agree with the rules determining who wins on close hands. The random events are surprising and might be interesting, but as the couple I saw were either non-impactful or the aliens cheating I'm not sure that I really like them.

I learned a card game in a game, cool

Thank you for creating such a fun game!

Just further to my previous comment, it's very replayable - keep finding new screens. The rule of Grol-Mok (or something similar) just got laid down and I am loving it! Didn't realise I needed this game in my life but it's great.

Extremely addictive and I like how there are some shameless cheating behaviours in there, keeps it very interesting as the tables can turn just like that. This game has a great premise, is funny and full of great details like the card artwork and the attack summaries at the bottom of each page. Fun time bandit 10/10. I regret nothing and would definitely recommend it!

Fun!!!!!!!!!!

Never played poker before but this was fun af!

Maybe add more storyline? Pretty good design.

Cool poker game

I love this game! It's funny and it teaches you how to play poker in a creative way. I even managed to save the cows and beat the aliens with my newfound poker skills. Highly recommend!

reg

Pretty fun 15 minute diversion. There was just enough story to give the game meaning, and the poker game was well executed and easy to follow.

This must have taken a ton of scripting, like Berka's other games. Berka, how you have patience for that I'll never know. It gets an 8 purely on the scripting, but the little story that was there was exactly my style: Humorous and over the top.
Also poker is just way easier to understand than Koi Koi.

This was great fun. Beating the aliens in three increasingly difficult rounds of poker was the best thing I did so far today.

really nice =) :)

Enjoyable poker simulator with a narrative behind it.

Personally I think this game was very good, I like the photos and all.
It’s a good game.
(I’m just really bad at it)

It's really fun, I like the little drawings too and the cow theme. It probably took a lot of effort to code this all.

This is a game that really makes you stop and marvel at what CYS games are capable of. It doesn't seem like it should even be possible to make a card game like this with a text editor, but BerkaZerka is a true wizard. And that's why I'm taking him and 200 cows with me to a casino as soon as I turn 18.

fantastic fun!

howwwwwww

BRILLIANT

I beat the game, first time, yay! I enjoyed the game mechanics but I was just wondering whether it could be a little harder? If you have a really bad hand you could just bet 0 over and over and the max they would ever get is 30. And I got a hearts royal flush and they still raised my bet. Needless to say, they got demolished every round. The aliens will have to find some other 'inferior race' to probe! :)

I like putting the aliens score in negatives with this easy game.

I lost the 3rd round :(

I rated this a 7.

I liked it.

Funny.

the 3rd round is hard

Pretty good story. Very entertaining too.

fun....as good as any poker I have seen with a goofy twist

Truly cute game, a lot of fun. Nice job!

I cheated

we beat the Aliens and saved the herd!! Poke Poke Poke Poker yer face Alien scum!

I don’t know much about cards so I didn’t do so great...very well done though!

This was a great “story!” It was nice to gamble away my cows and hope for the best. It was great with the funny distractions and the “trick.”

Hilarious, and strategic. The plot is stupid (this is not an insult), but makes it that much more fun to play. I love the silly remarks and the pictures!

that was lit

This game is absolutely fantastic! The humor of the writings and the gameplay mechanics is great. I expected that this game would be an another comedy wannabe but I never knew that this could be so enjoyable and entertaining at the same time. I'm not really good of a poker player so the Aliens mocked me a lot to my stupid brain with it's useless mind of a bastard. With a touch of their Uno Wild's cards , as a cunt who clearly not
even good at any game, I almost flipped...Anyways, The game is a
completely astonishing creation with it's sense of humor and fun mechanics. It's a shame that I can't even mention about it's difficulty amd story since I'm so bad at playing games but the important thing is the fact that I actually have fun with it. 7/8

This is surprisingly good!

LOOOS

I don't think I'm any better than the aliens... the Back button proved very useful.

Loved it! The story is a really great touch to the game!

Good god I barely won.

Great great

YES!!! I finally beat the aliens after millions of tries. I really think that this game is quite special and I cannot imagine the scripting. The only downside is that this game is so... HARD! Argh.

One of the greatest games of Poker I've ever played, if not the greatest.
R.I.P Lackey-Lackey First Class-Lackey

Wow this was more than I expected. A great time killer and very entertaining. Must have taken a lot of work, but it was great ;)

It was good - Dana
It was STRANGE! - Cara
It was stupid! - from Hugh
It wasn't fun. - from Sierra
My students kept making really terrible choices! -D.T.

Man this is cool

I loved it. The aliens being able to raise was a good touch. I also loved the extra things that happen.

The coding must have been a serious nightmare! It's truly impressive that you were able to create poker like this. However, the story itself was pretty random. I'd love to see this incorporated into a really good story. But still, very well done and impressive despite the lack of a more interesting backdrop.

Ok, this game was...no offense, but it was weird, unlike anything I've ever seen. I like the plot, and I love how much effort you put in it, but maybe offer some more info about how to play this...? Overall, it was really fun.

Incredible. I just wish I could have saved my poor cows :(

its unfair the aliens end up with THREE people and wilds

Wow...great game and the coding was amazing!

omg this game. Can't stop playing. Think I've developed a gambling problem. 8/8.

It wasn't a masterpiece like some of your later ones, but it was fun. And after all, isn't that what games are for anyway?

Its really difficult to play and i consider the people who won this geniuses lol the round 2 is so hard.

Bruh.

I had a lot of fun with this one

Salute to you, sir...

You have created the greatest storyGAME I've ever seen. The plot was funny, the dimbulb aliens funny, the stakes funny, the win/lose happenings funny, and it is so funny even the cards are funny. Nice choice of pictures, too.

Better, much better than those cups. 7/8.

Very funny game, with various random events spicing the game and sometimes helping the aliens or the bull.

Excelentt time waster. Just a quick question, how does one get a score higher that 1250?

Very funny and entertaining.

Wow, Berka! I really loved this game. I'm a poker pro, so I easily outmatched the aliens but you didn't make it easy for me. They kept cheating! I did like that you let me cheat once as well. And that your penguin character showed up a couple times during the game, even if I got his question wrong. All in all, it was a great game and I'm pretty sure I will play it again soon.

P.S. I really loved that you used pics from two of my favorite cartoons. The farmhouse from Courage the Cowardly Dog and a pic of Invader Zim. Lol. Great job!!!

Had frequent winning hands (two straights, strong pairs) that still resulted in an ultimate loss due to alien cheating. I am fairly decent at poker and played with optimal strategy but still lost due to RNG. Game's high dependence on luck is a factor to consider. 6/8

YAY BEAT DEM DUMB ALIENS and wait? Are they from Uranus? XD

Just to warn of a small bug. Each time the aliens make the meep cheat on the last phase and you're behind the game ends whether it's round 8 or 12.

Other than that a fun game, altough Not as good as the others from the author

It's a game, with great use of an advanced editor. The little story that was used was cute and cheesy. Not a bad thing, I liked it. The extra random events were very neat, and added a nice twist to the game. It made it more of a challenge, which I liked. Overall another good game from BerkaZerka

I loved it!

That was a lot of fun. Funny and quirky, with great poker gameplay. I don't want to think about how much work had to go into the making of this game. A big thank you to the author!

I can't even imagine how much scripting must have gone into this, I love playing poker so this game was perfect for me, I like how all the cards had unique names and characters on them, and the aliens personalities were great. Awesome game.

Good work. I like the way the events turned out. Keeps things interesting towards the end (though those dastardly aliens went pretty far in the red in a last ditch effort to beat me with one event!)

Very hard, but still a good game though.

Impossible to win on round one of the barn.

So hard. I have no idea how to play poker lol.

Can't even fathom how long the scripting must've taken. Nice game Berka.

I cheated too many times...




Still won the game.

Wow I just can't believe how good this was. I loved some of the card names and overall good humor. Did I mention humor is one of the MAIN reasons I play zombie and alien storygames. I also liked how it wasn't just full on playing poker with aliens but it also had some storytelling pages. Just keep betting 0 until I get to round five then I would cash out. I would like to congradulate you for getting rated so well this quickly. I had to problems 1. HOW DO YOU PLAY POKER!? Is it something batman does to the joker? and 2. I can't seem to FTW to win (maybe I should just keep playing instead of cashing out on round 5). It was really good and the only thing I would change is I would write out how to play poker somewhere on the how to play page.

Fun! Nice work on the scripting, BZ! I think the logical next step is to (arduously) increase the card number to 7 so that we get a wider array of hands.

it's k

Pretty fantastic playthrough, the Aliens cheated a good deal, but to be fair, so did I.

Not bad. But it's still possible to cheat and it's very easy to win.

As I played the second time it seemed to me as some hands would repeat from the first game exactly in the same order.

Loved the humor! very fun game. Helps brush up on poker in a fun way. I can tell a lot of work into this and it paid off. The only negative thing I can say is that there was one misspelling (heard instead of herd on the first page i believe maybe it was the second) anyway I gave it a strong 7/8.

Great game Berka but there's a small flaw. The A-2-3-4-5 straight also known as a "wheel" doesn't register as a straight and incorrectly counts as a high card hand.

I'm so bad at this. 8/8

Oh wow! That was so much fun ^-^

When I started this game I didn't know how to play poker. Now I almost know how to play poker... I think.

This was actually really fun. I didn't have high hopes because I hate card games. It was quite entertaining and had a good humor element. I shudder with dread at the thought at the amount of scripting and that which went into this, so well done doing that. All in all it was a great game to play and had me entertained for quite some time. Really well done, great job.