Graves

Player Rating4.55/8

"Too few ratings to be ranked"
based on 15 ratings since 04/11/2020
played 109 times (finished 17)

Story Difficulty7/8

"wade in shark infested water"

Play Length3/8

"A nice jog down the driveway"

Maturity Level7/8

"anything goes"
Some material may be inappropriate for persons under age 18. If this were a movie, it would probably be R.

It was a typical afternoon dinner.

Me and my dad on the dinner table at about 6:00 PM on a Saturday. Then, things went wrong.


Pardon me if this story will be pretty rough hahaha, This be my first storygame to ever finish.

WARNING: GRAPHIC.
 

Player Comments

i really like the story! you did an amazing job!
-- izzy on 5/11/2020 11:48:11 AM with a score of 0
Holy shiz. That was amazing!
-- Anomaly on 5/7/2020 7:56:39 PM with a score of 0
Man, this was WEIRD. I didn't pay much attention to it when it was published because at a glance it looked like just another angsty teen story about mean parents. But then it took a sudden turn for the bizarre and before I knew it I was sitting in a closet with a talking severed hand that was trying to convince me to kill my dad.

Now, as you said, it is a little rough. It could definitely have used some more proofreading, it was a kinda sloppy as far punctuation etc. (You should read Gower's article on dialogue punctuation for one thing: http://chooseyourstory.com/help/articles/article.aspx?ArticleId=4309)

And it felt like you were running out of steam by the time the story got to Yonderland. I saw several choices and was looking forward to exploring and finding more creepy mysterious stuff, but there was almost no detail for any of them and really only two possible outcomes.

I did eventually find the good ending, but that felt like another missed opportunity. I would've liked to ask some questions about just what was going on. I enjoyed what was here, it was refreshing to come across something so different, but this feels like a rough draft that could easily have been polished more and twice the length.

Really looking forward to reading future stories from you however, for a first effort this was pretty impressive.
-- mizal on 4/23/2020 3:58:16 PM with a score of 0
Graves is a short story that is linear compared to other storygames, but tells its story well. Its writing is pleasant to read, and its narrative never wavers.

However, my main grievance with Graves is its linearity. Of course, this is made up for by the masterful quality of the writing, but the meaninglessness of most choices is frustrating. This, combined with the unskippable and lengthy process of checking everything in your room before continuing is also tedious.

There is little to say on the plot itself, though it is evident Brazensky gave every attention to detail in Graves. While there is little-to-no impact made by the choices, you are able to get up to 3 different endings. The endings, like the story itself, are well written, and pleasantly formatted. Within these three endings are opportunities to learn more about the internal lore of Graves, which is definitely worth the multiple playthroughs.

When discussing Grave's characters, it is easy to say this is my favorite aspect of the story. They are true to themselves--as in, they don't suddenly make a drastic unwarranted change halfway through--and they all are, to a degree, relatable.

All in all, this story is small and linear, but most certainly worth several readings. The linearity and formatting of the choices can be frustrating at times and annoying at others, but even with that in mind, this storygame is easily one of the best I have read in terms of sheer story-telling.
-- ImpiriTonggali on 4/15/2020 12:44:30 AM with a score of 0
Not bad, an odd story perhaps but imaginative and intriguing. I don't know why you put all the speech in bold, that was a bit distracting. A lot of the choices in the story (like "friend" or "friend...?") were more or less the same thing and didn't really seem to branch out, after a page or two they just shunted me back onto the main path and the only real branch seemed to be at the end.

There was some odd misuse of words (since when is "whatever" a quip?) and the initial premise didn't really seem to go too far or develop too much, my impression is that it was planned within specific limits or written in a short amount of time. The writing was pretty decent though and by taking on more challenging stories you should really be able to show off what you can do :)

Also, I'm not sure how the title fits into the story. Like I said, a bit of an odd one.
-- Will11 on 4/11/2020 10:53:25 PM with a score of 0
It is not bad at all for a first game. But it feels really linear there are not real branches. I think that started with the scene where the mother never come back and then jump to the present would have made a more powerful narrative The Despair world needs a overhaul and have real choices and not all the choices being fake.
-- poison_mara on 4/11/2020 10:50:04 PM with a score of 0
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