Player Comments on Please play this story please I really need this please I need this so bad please I am going to cry

I have no idea whether you intended this to be pure comedy, or some kind of clever commentary on American politics, but in all reality, it doesn’t matter because it fails at both. The only reason I read all of it and checked multiple choices was because it had a kind of fascinating quality like watching a cockroach crawl up the wallpaper in a cheap motel.

I really didn’t enjoy this. When it first started, I thought for sure that there was going to be some kind of insightful anything. There was not. It was absurdity for absurdity’s sake. I didn’t laugh, chuckle, or exhale the puff of air through my nose.

The only reasosn I rated this higher than a one is because I’m a newbie who hasn’t published anything yet, and the riffing on Wonderwall.

I do think this is getting lower ratings than it deserves, if only by a bit. There are some good jokes, but the text misses the mark I expect the author was aiming for.

For one, the text needed to be tight and clean. While the idea of Bush calling me a "little Schneeble" or whatever, really fucking tickled me, there was too much text in the way. There were literal paragraphs of trite and boring text to set up the joke. Yeah, yeah, stereotypical dark forest - got it.

Secondly, this is not a seriously framed text. I feel the humor should come from how remarkably close to the truth it can be while being an obvious parody. Maybe writing this was a way of blowing off steam for the writer. It's sometimes direct and quite dry, like the intent of humor was abandoned so the writer could flex a superior and nuanced understanding of topics on the reader.

I think the idea of writing a story about running for president of the US where everyone is horrible is great, sorta like Wuthering Heights where essentially all the characters are miserable souls. The story lacks the narrative to be that, but isn't short enough to be only a funny quick read.

Please feature this comment please I really need this please I need this so bad please I am going to cry

Please feature this ORIGINAL comment please I really need this please I need this so bad please I am going to cry

Ah, yes, I like stories in which the first choice can end it immediately. Besides me wanting it to be perhaps easier to read if the author indented the paragraphs a bit more, the path that did not immediately end the story was one that was interesting at points.

This is the most beautiful literature I have ever seen in my life.

First, the title of this game can have far more sense than the current one. The current title fails to summarize the topic.

Second, the dialogue in this game can be more neat than the current one. After choosing some options which lead to Game Over, the game shows a dull political statement without any possible description regarding the actions of protagonist and audiences (since the protagonist is promoting his political stance) or the reason why a Game Over is received.

Third, I feel that Family Friendly category may not be suitable here since politic is a controversial topic and discussion of politics may sometimes result in extensive debate.

Finally, while the general ideas of this game is great, the story failed to show the potential of properly demonstrating them in an interesting way or at least a recognizable way.

This is based on a true story that happened to you? Sure bud. I also really cracked up at

"Legend has it that the depths of the Potomac river, too, are hiding something. People come out of these woods, but they're not quite 'people' anymore. They're something different. They're... bureaucrats." Your skin crawls.

Couldn't help it. I wouldn't even call this a CYOA. If you don't end the game immediately, the choices you DO get to make have no effect on the gameplay whatsoever. This is a linear storyline pretending to be a CYOA. I expect to see your email in my inbox by tomorrow.

I managed to get the easter egg fart ending on my first try. I am Serbian. I think you will understand why I am recommending everybody to stay far away from this game.

I had literally no expectations going into this story, but somehow I was still caught off guard by this being a sarcastic political adventure thing. Simultaneously too much effort and too little effort was put into this, and I don't know how. 3/8 including bonus style points for confusing the heck out of me.

Gaddamn, it's been a while since we had one of these manifesto-type things. Makin a man reminisce out here.

Learn to space your paragraphs

I found the Easter Egg ending

My first reaction to the title and description was “wtf? This has to be a troll”. However, it actually looked like you somewhat… tried? The writing was still bad; I’m going to leave it to someone else to explain why because I don’t want to. Anyway, I have to round my 1.5/8 up to a 2, so good job on getting a higher rating than I thought you would get by looking at the title!